My Horse's previous owner very critical - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 32 Old 01-08-2012, 08:37 PM Thread Starter
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Angry My Horse's previous owner very critical

Help, this problem is depressing me and almost driving me to sell my horse.
I bought my current horse 1 and a half years ago from people at my agistment place who still have other horses there. At the time I thought it was convenient, my new horse didn't have to change paddocks, leave his horse friends and could stay in touch with his owners. At first I appreciated their advice on feeding, habits likes/dislikes, but they haven't stopped controlling and have been very critical of everything I have done.

I am giving him excellent care in fact he is in much better condition in every way than when I bought him and has much equipment now, before his rugs, tack etc were old, torn, ill fitting etc and he was neglected with regard to riding, just standing in the paddock looking bored.

The owner questions everything I do - I live next door to the agistment and she will knock on my door when she arrives to see her horses, asking have I fed him (l always feed him early in the morning,) which rug am I planning for him today? have I cleaned up my paddock yet (I had ,there was one new poo from my horse). She constantly tells me I am not riding him enough and keeping him fit yet she sees me on him out 3-5 times week. He is quite senior and when I bought him it was understood he was retiring from competition and for pleasure riding only.

When I ride him she will sit and watch and criticise me the whole time which makes me nervous. She then tells me I am too nervous and ruining him, his behaviour has deteriorated. This lady never rides her own horses who are overweight and very bored.

She will often give him a complete meal when she arrives 2 times a day even though I say I have just fed him and I am standing right there. The other day she haltered him, took him for walk, washed him while I was sitting outside my house, having completed his ride, feeding, care etc already. On a number of occasions I have arrived home after work with a lesson booked from my instructor to find him fed and rugged at 3pm in the afternoon, with the previous owner saying Oh you were late and he was hungry. Other owners there are annoyed as their horses are fed and rugged before they arrive in the afternoon, ruining their plans. This lady is not the manager just another owner, but is critical of every other owner there.

I have asked her to stop feeding him as my feed is going way too fast and he doesn't need it. She says it is very hard as he "looks miserable" and is neglected.

It is time I had a big showdown with her, however at times we depend on each other eg if I am away for a night I ask her to feed him. Likewise I take care of her horses if she is stuck. However I am feeling increasingly depressed about the whole situation. I am thinking about new agistment, but as I live right on site it would be very inconvenient for me.
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post #2 of 32 Old 01-08-2012, 08:48 PM
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Move your horse to another stable and don't tell her where you're taking him.
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post #3 of 32 Old 01-08-2012, 08:58 PM
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Move your horse to another stable and don't tell her where you're taking him.

ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto!

The woman is waaay overline. It's NOT her horse anymore and you're clearly not neglecting the animal. She seems to be telling you things she should be doing to her own horses, but goodness knows what sort of issues are mentally stopping her. Really, don't sell your horse because of her. You seem to be doing a fine job and if you can find another suitable barn, please consider moving.

A ride a day keeps the worries away!
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post #4 of 32 Old 01-08-2012, 08:59 PM
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Moving is the clear cut answer, to me, but when you live right there I can see that would be much less convenient, AND, my fear would be that the problem with her would still exist. She does come to your house, after all.

I think you really cannot avoid confronting her. THis is now YOUR horse, YOUR feed and YOUR time and $$. If she wanted control of the horse, she should have kept him. I would never ask her for anything again, so you need to find another barn buddy to swap chores with. PReferably one who she cannot manipulate, who understands the situtation. you need to make it clear to her that you do NOT appreciate her feeding him ever. Period. She is not to touch the horse unless there is a life threatening emergency, like the barn is on fire. You also do not appreciate her critiques of your riding or care and would like it to stop. If she is a bit "thick" you may have to be brutally blunt with her. Polite, just blunt. There is only your way. No compromise at all. This is your horse. You probably cannot stop her watching you. You will just have to get past that. You have been too nice for too long. TIme to take back your life.

THis is a tough one-good luck!

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post #5 of 32 Old 01-08-2012, 09:05 PM
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you obviously liked the horse since you bought him, don't let this crazy lady tear you two apart!

my advice, as well as the other is to get the heck outta there.

not only is that annoying and not a good condition for you it look as though it could potentially be deplorable to the horse.
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post #6 of 32 Old 01-08-2012, 09:05 PM
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Firstly Welcome to the forum!!
Agree with Bubba think it is time you moved on & found a new stable. People like that figure it is there way or no way & she probably isn't going to change telling you how to manage your horse.Both you & your horse will benefit
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post #7 of 32 Old 01-08-2012, 09:07 PM
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You are just going to have to stand up to the barn bully and tell her to keep her hands off of YOUR horse. You bought it, it is yours and she no longer has any claim or right to do anything with this horse. Hopefully, this can be done without a lot of hurt feelings and you will still be able to depend on this lady to help you out when you are away. Realistically, I think that you are in for a showdown and will probably have to find other help. This lady does not seem to have any boundries and so she is probably not going to take it to kindly when you tell her to BUTT OUT! I think that it has to be done. For you sake and your horse's.

Why is the barn manager allowing this type of behavior? She has some liability here if she allows a person, who is not the owner of a horse, to feed and handle the horse without permission.

I can appreciate that this is a frustrating situation for you and confronting this lady is not going to be easy or pleasant, but it sounds like that is what needs to be done.
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post #8 of 32 Old 01-08-2012, 09:08 PM
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I think that if you feel capable of telling her your need for some "space" without losing you cool, then it's worth a try to ask her is she could please let you take care of him your own way.

one can always move the hrose if it doesn't work out but shouldn't you at least try to tell her to back off, before moving the horse>?.
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post #9 of 32 Old 01-08-2012, 09:20 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you all very much, it helps to put it in perspective.
We don't have a manager there just paddocks and stables people rent from a man not living there, so it is very come and go. I agree I should start arranging with other people in case of emergency.
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post #10 of 32 Old 01-08-2012, 09:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Champagne View Post
Thank you all very much, it helps to put it in perspective.
We don't have a manager there just paddocks and stables people rent from a man not living there, so it is very come and go. I agree I should start arranging with other people in case of emergency.
And keep your fingers crossed-maybe she will "go" and someone nice will "come"! Especially when she cannot nitpick at you anymore!

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