Today was supposed to be my first solo ride. (My instructor was out of town and I was horse-sitting for him. He asked me to ride his three year old today because the weather has been crap for quite a while and she needed to be ridden, so yes I had permission to ride this horse by myself. I've also been riding for 6 years. In addition, there is a trailer park right next to the arena I was riding in, and there were people in sight. Next door to the barn, there was a graduation party going on, with people coming and going.) Poco is an extremely gentle and calm horse. I helped break her as a two year old, and she is the type of horse that wouldn't harm a fly. So I get her saddled up and lounged her for a while. She crow hopped a time or two when I was lounging her, but I worked her for quite a while and she was listening and being good for a solid 20 minutes before I went to mount her. So I led her up to the mounting block, put the reins in my left hand and grabbed the saddle horn in my right. As soon as my foot touched the stirrup, Poco bolted and started bucking. I immediately let go and got off her, but not without recieving a huge bruise to my left arm. (I think it got brusied from the impact with the pommel of the saddle)
Right then I decided I was not going to take the risk of riding her alone when there was something wrong. (And something had to be wrong, be it her or me, because she never
acts like this)
When I got home from the barn, My mother saw my brusie and asked how I got it. I told her, and she went balystic. I didn't tell my mom I was going to be riding Poco (exactly for the reason she would overreact). She told me I was never to go to the barn alone again because I apparently want to kill myself.
I said to her, "What am I supposed to do if I'm going to be working with horses? Wait until somebody has the time to come out to my barn and ride with me? I'll never have time to ride if that's the case. I understand bad stuff can happen to me when I'm on a horse. I've seen people almost break their necks falling off. I've watched a person's horse bolt off on a trail ride, fall off and crack his collar bone (2 and a half hours from the nearest hospital) And yes, I've heard of people dying from falls. I know whats at risk, but if I get hurt riding, so be it. I had my phone on me, and there were people in the vicinity."
My mom told me I have no business being around horses, and that I was stupid for wanting to ever ride one, let alone try to make a career out of it. She also went on about how she wasted $1,500 dollars on me to take lessons when I couldn't even get on the d*mn horse by myself.
I'm so sick of my parents hating what I love. To be honest, I hope I die in a riding accident, because I'll have died doing what I love. I'm not going to put myself in jeporady to pass that way, but when my time comes I want to take my last breath in the saddle and go quickly and painlessly.
Not only that, but I feel like crap now because I couldn't handle mounting a horse by myself. I couldn't control what Poco did, but I guess my mom has a point that I took 4 years of lessons and countless hours in the saddle only for this to happen.
And for a breif second, I wanted to quit riding. I've never had a thought like that cross my mind before. Horses are my life. I'm alive today because of them. They push me to do better even when I want to quit. They have taught me more than teachers ever could. And they have been my friends, even when I had none.
So I guess this thread is partly a rant, but am I overreacting to what my mom said? Or does she really have the valid points? Am I a bad rider for my first solo ride going badly?