My mom and I got into a fight about horses...
   

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My mom and I got into a fight about horses...

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  • ride a horse without permission
  • I scared my mom for fun and she overreacted

 
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    06-05-2011, 12:36 AM
  #1
Banned
Unhappy My mom and I got into a fight about horses...

Today was supposed to be my first solo ride.
(My instructor was out of town and I was horse-sitting for him. He asked me to ride his three year old today because the weather has been crap for quite a while and she needed to be ridden, so yes I had permission to ride this horse by myself. I've also been riding for 6 years. In addition, there is a trailer park right next to the arena I was riding in, and there were people in sight. Next door to the barn, there was a graduation party going on, with people coming and going.)

Poco is an extremely gentle and calm horse. I helped break her as a two year old, and she is the type of horse that wouldn't harm a fly. So I get her saddled up and lounged her for a while. She crow hopped a time or two when I was lounging her, but I worked her for quite a while and she was listening and being good for a solid 20 minutes before I went to mount her.
So I led her up to the mounting block, put the reins in my left hand and grabbed the saddle horn in my right. As soon as my foot touched the stirrup, Poco bolted and started bucking. I immediately let go and got off her, but not without recieving a huge bruise to my left arm. (I think it got brusied from the impact with the pommel of the saddle)
Right then I decided I was not going to take the risk of riding her alone when there was something wrong. (And something had to be wrong, be it her or me, because she never acts like this)

When I got home from the barn, My mother saw my brusie and asked how I got it. I told her, and she went balystic. I didn't tell my mom I was going to be riding Poco (exactly for the reason she would overreact). She told me I was never to go to the barn alone again because I apparently want to kill myself.
I said to her, "What am I supposed to do if I'm going to be working with horses? Wait until somebody has the time to come out to my barn and ride with me? I'll never have time to ride if that's the case. I understand bad stuff can happen to me when I'm on a horse. I've seen people almost break their necks falling off. I've watched a person's horse bolt off on a trail ride, fall off and crack his collar bone (2 and a half hours from the nearest hospital) And yes, I've heard of people dying from falls. I know whats at risk, but if I get hurt riding, so be it. I had my phone on me, and there were people in the vicinity."

My mom told me I have no business being around horses, and that I was stupid for wanting to ever ride one, let alone try to make a career out of it. She also went on about how she wasted $1,500 dollars on me to take lessons when I couldn't even get on the d*mn horse by myself.

I'm so sick of my parents hating what I love. To be honest, I hope I die in a riding accident, because I'll have died doing what I love. I'm not going to put myself in jeporady to pass that way, but when my time comes I want to take my last breath in the saddle and go quickly and painlessly.

Not only that, but I feel like crap now because I couldn't handle mounting a horse by myself. I couldn't control what Poco did, but I guess my mom has a point that I took 4 years of lessons and countless hours in the saddle only for this to happen.
And for a breif second, I wanted to quit riding. I've never had a thought like that cross my mind before. Horses are my life. I'm alive today because of them. They push me to do better even when I want to quit. They have taught me more than teachers ever could. And they have been my friends, even when I had none.

So I guess this thread is partly a rant, but am I overreacting to what my mom said? Or does she really have the valid points? Am I a bad rider for my first solo ride going badly?
     
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    06-05-2011, 12:48 AM
  #2
Banned
Perhaps it just scared her that you were alone and could've got hurt worse. I think Yall both are overreacting. And you shouldn't feel like a crappy rider cause you don't do so hot on your first solo. My first solo on Kate didn't go so well either. Schmit happens. Be patient, try to find out why she could've bucked, and just work from there.
     
    06-05-2011, 12:58 AM
  #3
Started
How old are you? Moms react to things because we are born to love and protect our children. My daughter and I still get in fights, she is a mother herself and I am a grandma. Its part of being female and a mom.
However, whether you had 6 years of lessons or not, you should not be handling a 4 year old green broke horse by yourself and alone. Just because you knew there were people around, that is no reason to take a horse, a young greenbroke horse and try to ride it. Your riding instructor was totally irresponsible for asking your to ride this horse who by your own admission, had not been ridden for awhile and ask you to ride without supervision. People in the trailer park next to you is not supervision.
Your mom has every right to be angry. Angry because you took a risk and could have been killed. Angry because after spending money for lessons, your instructor asked you, or expected you to ride a barely broke horse with nobody around. And angry because you did something rather immature.
Six years of lessons doesn't make you ready to ride a horse without somebody around, unless the horse is old and mature and bulletproof. Heck, I am a grandma, and I would not consider riding a 4 year old greenbroke horse by myself without SOMEBODY right there.
Who knows, maybe the trailer park scared her or the noise. But something tells me this horse is not that well broke. She was already crowhopping and then you went to get on her and almost got hurt.
I would be furious if I had been your mom and found out you had been trying to ride a green horse with nobody around. I would be having a talk with the trainer, who had NO business asking you, a child or teenager, to ride a horse that had no exercise because of the weather. I would suspect this trainer would not be training you anymore. I would also be mad and upset that you, after taking lessons would resort to even think of riding this horse with nobody around and by around I mean standing next to the corral you were riding and working in. Sorry, she is absolutely right, what you did was not too smart.
Having a phone would not have helped much if you had broken your neck.
I have to say how immature you sound when you say "I hope I die riding". How horrible would that be for your parents to live through that?
You took your first solo ride on a horse that you were not ready to ride. PERIOD. Your riding instructor needs to realize what a dangerous situation he put you in. If indeed your first solo ride has made you think about quitting, then you are not ready to ride solo. You didn't get hurt, but it could have been horrific. Go back to riding with a instructor and learning more and riding a more mature horse until your confidence is built up.
     
    06-05-2011, 01:01 AM
  #4
Yearling
I would have been furious if one of my children didn't tell me where they were going, especially if they were going to be alone and working with a dangerous animal (horses in general being dangerous and unpredictable). So I think your mom was probably just reacting to those feelings, that if something were to happen to you she wouldn't have known and there wouldn't have been anyone around to help you. You can't really rely on people that just happen to be close by. She'll probably calm down and you will both move past it. You might want to think about apologizing for not considering her feelings when you agreed to take on that task.
     
    06-05-2011, 01:14 AM
  #5
Banned
Quote:
Originally Posted by wyominggrandma    
How old are you? Moms react to things because we are born to love and protect our children. My daughter and I still get in fights, she is a mother herself and I am a grandma. Its part of being female and a mom.
However, whether you had 6 years of lessons or not, you should not be handling a 4 year old green broke horse by yourself and alone. Just because you knew there were people around, that is no reason to take a horse, a young greenbroke horse and try to ride it. Your riding instructor was totally irresponsible for asking your to ride this horse who by your own admission, had not been ridden for awhile and ask you to ride without supervision. People in the trailer park next to you is not supervision.
Your mom has every right to be angry. Angry because you took a risk and could have been killed. Angry because after spending money for lessons, your instructor asked you, or expected you to ride a barely broke horse with nobody around. And angry because you did something rather immature.
Six years of lessons doesn't make you ready to ride a horse without somebody around, unless the horse is old and mature and bulletproof. Heck, I am a grandma, and I would not consider riding a 4 year old greenbroke horse by myself without SOMEBODY right there.
Who knows, maybe the trailer park scared her or the noise. But something tells me this horse is not that well broke. She was already crowhopping and then you went to get on her and almost got hurt.
I would be furious if I had been your mom and found out you had been trying to ride a green horse with nobody around. I would be having a talk with the trainer, who had NO business asking you, a child or teenager, to ride a horse that had no exercise because of the weather. I would suspect this trainer would not be training you anymore. I would also be mad and upset that you, after taking lessons would resort to even think of riding this horse with nobody around and by around I mean standing next to the corral you were riding and working in. Sorry, she is absolutely right, what you did was not too smart.
Having a phone would not have helped much if you had broken your neck.
I have to say how immature you sound when you say "I hope I die riding". How horrible would that be for your parents to live through that?
You took your first solo ride on a horse that you were not ready to ride. PERIOD. Your riding instructor needs to realize what a dangerous situation he put you in. If indeed your first solo ride has made you think about quitting, then you are not ready to ride solo. You didn't get hurt, but it could have been horrific. Go back to riding with a instructor and learning more and riding a more mature horse until your confidence is built up.
I'm going to be 18 in two months. Poco is 3, and is broke for her age. I helped break her when she was a two year old. When I said she hadn't been ridden in a while, I meant she hadn't been ridden in a week. I've ridden horses younger, greener, and waaay more tempermental than her, and I've ridden out my share of bucks and rears.
My instructor is good, and he wouldn't put me on a horse he didn't trust or if there was any doubt in his mind about my capabilities of handling the horse. I've been going to his barn on the weekends by myself and taking care of his horses from the ground, and this was the first time he asked me to ride a horse for him while he wasn't around.
I do understand that I shouldn't have tried to ride Poco after she had crowhopped on the lounge. And yes I realize that scared my mom.
     
    06-05-2011, 01:18 AM
  #6
Banned
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whisper22    
I would have been furious if one of my children didn't tell me where they were going, especially if they were going to be alone and working with a dangerous animal (horses in general being dangerous and unpredictable). So I think your mom was probably just reacting to those feelings, that if something were to happen to you she wouldn't have known and there wouldn't have been anyone around to help you. You can't really rely on people that just happen to be close by. She'll probably calm down and you will both move past it. You might want to think about apologizing for not considering her feelings when you agreed to take on that task.
I told her I was watching Poco this weekend, and I told her when I left for the barn today and when I'd be back. And she makes me text her every half hour or so, because she wants to know I'm okay. If I didn't, she'd know something was wrong.
     
    06-05-2011, 01:23 AM
  #7
Started
Okay, well then since you are old enough to realize how much you could have been hurt then you have to realize your mom was probably not really mad about having paid for the lessons or anything else, she was mad because "she loves you" and will always want to protect you and keep you from being hurt". This will happen when you have boyfriends, get married, have kids, everything. We moms just naturally want to protect our kids and sometimes fly off the handle without thinking because one of the kids do something dumb and could be hurt.
My advice, just talk to her. Tell her you realize why she was upset, and looking back YOU realize how wrong you were to put yourself in the position to be hurt riding Poco and that you are sorry. Tell her how much your riding means to you, and how much her PAYING for it means to you.
It will blow over, but understand that there is nothing worse in a parents life than having to bury their child , whether that child is a baby, a teenager or an adult. Things happen and we moms panic first, then think about it later.
Just ride and ride and enjoy. Your parents don't hate that you like horses, not if they have paid for your lessons. They just hate that you are doing something that can get you hurt. Can't put that protective bubble around our kids when they are riding horses or whatever they do for fun and its scary for us.
She loves you, that is why she got so upet.
     
    06-05-2011, 01:29 AM
  #8
Yearling
You should still apologize for not telling her the whole truth though.
     
    06-05-2011, 03:47 PM
  #9
Started
My mom went ballistic when I told her I almost fell off one day. Moms worry. It's in their nature.
     
    06-05-2011, 04:16 PM
  #10
Showing
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hidalgo13    
Moms worry. It's in their nature.
My mother is in her 90's and I'm in my 60's. She still gets on my case about riding - and I've owned horses for over 30 years, and have ridden my whole life. Oh, and we live ~800 miles apart.

Accept it as loving you - maybe a little over reactive.
     

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