My persuasive paragraph on horse slaughter.
 
 

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My persuasive paragraph on horse slaughter.

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    09-20-2008, 08:11 PM
  #1
Yearling
My persuasive paragraph on horse slaughter.

Ya it sucks. Anyways, if there are any english- majors out there can you possible critique/edit this and maybe help me think of a summary sentence?
Thanks
Here it goes-
Every horse-lover has dreamed of having their own horse one day. In 2006, 50 000 horses were killed in one of the six Canadian slaughter houses. That is 50 000 dreams crushed. Horses who are sent to slaughter are shipped in cramped trailers meant for other types of livestock without food or water for days. Once they arrive their final destination, they are treated unkindly until it is their turn to enter the kill pen where they are killed inhumanly with equipment that is often unsuitable for horses, that doesn't kill them right away so they are left to suffer or are hung or beaten to death. The meat is sent to Europe and Asia where it is considered a delicacy, and people are willing to pay a good price for it. In our country, horses are companion animals, not livestock raised for meat. People have emotional attachments to them, just like we do with dogs, and they have made a huge impact on society. They were once the main way of transportation, when trains and cars were not around. Besides that, horses don't deserve to be treated so cruelly. For hundreds of years, they have provided us with the wings we need to fly. They have been our loyal friends and allowed us to sit on their backs and compete in sports or ride for pleasure. If a horse is ill or injured, I think we owe it to them to give them a peaceful, humane passing instead of the traumatic, painful death that they face at the slaughter house. Also, since horse slaughter has been around, horse theft rates have gone up drastically. Now that you can sell any horse to a meat company and get a good profit from it, people have started steeling horses and selling them for a living.
     
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    09-20-2008, 08:30 PM
  #2
Showing
It is a good paragraph. Have you looked at other articles on the web? If you do some search in google, you will find even more information and more ideas:)
     
    09-20-2008, 09:28 PM
  #3
Showing
Re: My persuasive paragraph on horse slaughter.

A nice article. Will this work for you?

Every horse-lover has dreamed of having their own horse one day yet in 2006, 50 000 horses were killed in one of the six Canadian slaughter houses. That is 50 000 dreams crushed. Horses who are sent to slaughter are shipped in cramped trailers meant for other types of livestock without food or water for days. Once they arrive at their final destination, they are treated unkindly until it is their turn to enter the kill pen where they are killed inhumanly with equipment that is often unsuitable for horses. If that doesn't kill them right away they are left to suffer or are hung or beaten to death. The meat is then sent to Europe and Asia where it is considered a delicacy and people pay a good price for it.

In our country, horses are companion animals, not livestock raised for meat. People have emotional attachments to horses, just like we do with dogs, and they have made a huge impact on society. They were once the main way of transportation before trains and cars.

Horses don't deserve to be treated so cruelly. For hundreds of years, they have provided us with the wings we need to fly. They have been our loyal friends and allowed us to sit on their backs and compete in sports or ride for pleasure. If a horse is ill or injured, I think we owe it to them to give them a peaceful, humane passing instead of the traumatic, painful death that they face at the slaughter house. Since horse slaughter has been around, theft of horses have gone up drastically. Now that you can sell any horse to a meat company and get a good profit from it, people have started stealing horses and selling them for a living.

Is this a fitting end to a companion that has given so much joy in our lives?
     
    09-20-2008, 09:38 PM
  #4
Started
Wow! Great work!
     
    09-20-2008, 10:32 PM
  #5
Weanling
What grade is this for?

I'm in grade 12 English, so I think your paper should be a little longer and with more depth.

But it's pretty good so far!
     
    09-21-2008, 02:06 PM
  #6
Yearling
It's grade 9, and its only supposed to be like an 8 sentence paragraph but its something I'm pasionate about so I kinda went a little longer.
     

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