Bad idea. Horse world is small. Trainers talk as do clients. When her current trainer finds out(and she will) she would risk her current trainer having a melt down and possibly risk the new trainer refusing to continue working with her. Or even worse, risk having a bad reputation and have other trainers not take her on in the future. I have seen this happen before. Its a huge no no.
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Then let her have a melt down. She does not have to be told everything. If she finds out, she finds out. She is not the controller of the universe. She will throw a fit if the OP tells her, and she will throw a fit if she finds out elsewhere.
A melt down is coming, no matter wht happens. Just wait until this poor girl goes to take her horses. With how much this lady seems to desire ultimate control, I envision the worst. I have seen this many times as well.
Here is a little of worst that you need to prepare for when you leave. I hope she just accepts your leaving, maybe with some insults thrown around and that is it.
She may try to prevent you from taking your horses. You will have some unpaid charge to your board bill that must be paid or you can't take the horses. She may threaten to sue you. She will bad mouth and insult you. Be prepared to be called the worst rider in the world, that you will never amount to anything, and that the ONLY reason you can even sit on a horse without hooking your feet in the reins is because of her. You could hear that she was doing you a favor and THIS is how you are going to repay her for her kindness? You are a wretched person! That horse of yours too will never amount to anything either! Look at it! It isn't even trained well! She was only trying to do what is best for YOU the whole time by trying to steer you away from that nag. All she ever wanted to do was HELP you! Oooh! The WHOLE WORLD is going to hear about this. You will never find a barn within a hundred miles that will take you on as a student!
Keep in mind that none of that is true. The parts that are true, such as you being the rider you are today is ruined by the intent of those words.
You get the point. Ending a business relationship with a control freak is never easy. I hope that things go smoothly, but prepare for the worst.
The healthiest and happiest way for this situation to resolve is to find another place to learn.
Money is tight. Make every penny count. Do not be bullied into paying for something that does not equal the cost. This is something your parents will understand and support more vehemently. Posted via Mobile Device