My trainer is really ticking me off. (LONG rant) - Page 5 - The Horse Forum
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post #41 of 47 Old 03-23-2013, 09:15 PM
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Originally Posted by churumbeque View Post
from what I understand she doesn't keep her horses at this gals place anyway so in this case I don't think it's a big deal if she doesn't tell her. f her horse was bored there then it's more important .
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I know she doesn't board there. However when you are training with one trainer and start sneaking around to other trainers it puts a bad tag on your name, especially if trainers are friends or have any sort of professional relationship.

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post #42 of 47 Old 03-23-2013, 09:19 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by NBEventer View Post
My point is that all it takes is her to tell a friend that this person went behind her back and that gets around the area and will make a lot of other trainers gun shy. Its not fair, but its the way things work in the industry.

If she doesn't have friends in high places then its not that big of a deal, but all it takes is her to be friends with one big barn and then the OP's name gets tossed around as being disloyal and unfaithful. I have watched it happen before.

I'm sorry but the best way to deal with people like this is to be the bigger person. Be open and honest without screaming and crying. It will get you a lot further then a tantrum and going behind her back. She doesn't owe this coach anything, but she owes it to herself to be the mature bigger person.
You're right. My parents and I have talked about it and will be going to go talk to her soon. :)
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post #43 of 47 Old 03-23-2013, 09:19 PM
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I would definitely find a new barn. If you don't feel like telling your trainer that you found a new barn, maybe just tell her you don't have the finances for taking lessons.
I just recently found myself in a similar situation last summer. I bought my first horse, Image, last March and started shipping him to jumping lessons (he was fully trained in wtc, but never jumped) at the barn that I rode at for 4 years. I didn't know a whole lot about headset and bit accepting at the time, but I knew something was wrong when I couldn't control him and he'd almost smack me in the face because his head was so high in the air. I'd talk to my trainer about it, and she just told me to get a martingale for him (which didn't do anything). And I was basically paying $40 for her to sit there and watch me jump my horse around with 7 other riders in the arena, for 3 months. The BO even tried upping my lesson rates with the boarders (I was keeping Image on my mom's property at the time) and the students who rode lessons horses because hay prices went up! I was already paying extra to buy hay for my horse, why should I have to pay HER more, she's not paying to feed my horse?
I finally had the guts to find a new trainer, who has been working with me ever since to get Image to accept the bit and not stick his little Arab head in the air. I still talk to my previous trainer, and even go ride her horses for her every once in a while. She didn't have a sour attitude, though, like it sounds your trainer does? Regardless, I think it would be wise to find a new trainer; even the fact that you think she is going to badmouth you for going to a different barn is very unprofessional of her. Maybe if she did her job, and you got what you paid for then you wouldn't be leaving.
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post #44 of 47 Old 03-23-2013, 09:48 PM
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If the trainer goes around badmouthing you, she is the one that will have a ruined reputation. Another thing, why would she try to sell you a gaited horse if you are training to jump? That sounds very suspicious to me. Could it be that she just wants to make a few dollars and is unconcerned about her students?

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post #45 of 47 Old 03-23-2013, 09:50 PM
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OP, I don't think you're obligated to tell the trainer. And I find it really strange that trainers would badmouth former clients like that - personally, if I overheard that, it would turn me off working with that trainer.

But I think NBEventer's advice is probably solid. The trainer might badmouth you anyway, but at least you can defend yourself by saying you handled it calmly and professionally.

And if you handle all these types of situations calmly, over time you'll build a good reputation for yourself, no matter what the specific situation.

This will be good practice for when you run into bullies and drama queens in the future. They exist outside the horse world as well.
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post #46 of 47 Old 03-23-2013, 10:15 PM
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I suspect this trainer may just be childish enough to bad mouth. But the thing is, let her bad mouth. At least you can stand confident knowing you were the bigger person. I am not a fan of feeding fire with fuel. I like to let the fire burn itself out while I stand back and watch, knowing I handled it the right way.

I don't like to burn bridges either. I will let others burn the bridge, but I refuse to.

I also don't like back stabbing and sneaking around. If I am not happy I will tell the person and I will move on. Sneaking around just makes you look bad IMO. Best thing you can do is be the bigger person and the person who is up front and honest and lay it all out

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post #47 of 47 Old 03-23-2013, 10:32 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Celeste View Post
If the trainer goes around badmouthing you, she is the one that will have a ruined reputation. Another thing, why would she try to sell you a gaited horse if you are training to jump? That sounds very suspicious to me. Could it be that she just wants to make a few dollars and is unconcerned about her students?
She's had these horses for a long time and she doesn't want them anymore. She tries to get rid of them every chance she gets. So she thinks me and this gaited horse would make a perfect team, even thought I've told her I do not want a gaited horse, since I want to learn to jump. She still hints at me getting the horse every week, though.
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