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Need advice if I'm being played!

This is a discussion on Need advice if I'm being played! within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

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        02-12-2013, 09:52 PM
      #11
    Foal
    Aerie, you're right we were buddies, I could stand with him in the sun just holding his head and it was great. I think I felt sorry for him and wanted to be his buddy, when he really needed a leader first. I think I need to start again with him, first being his leader and earning his respect and then maybe we can be buddies again. I guess he wanted a leader, and I let him down.
    Shropshirerosie likes this.
         
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        02-12-2013, 09:59 PM
      #12
    Foal
    Nahhhh you didn't let him down, you did exactly what a lot of people do when they first get a new horse! Heck I'll admit when I got my old horse I cuddled on him all the time and had to go back and gain his respect. Don't worry too much about it im sure he will come around and respect you, there's no permanant damage! Besides he probably would have tried to test you in some other way even if you hadn't coddled him, sometimes horses like to challenge their leaders and just need to be put back in place. Everyone here has great advice and I know I have learned so much just by lurking on threads or subbing to something I find interesting. Have fun with your horse and know that if you need some support or have questions you have a lovely community here that is willing to back you up and be here for you
         
        02-12-2013, 10:03 PM
      #13
    Trained
    You're horse will love you for being his leader. You don't have to separate being his buddy and being his leader. To a horse they are one and the same.
    aerie likes this.
         
        02-12-2013, 10:41 PM
      #14
    Trained
    You said you got him from a feedlot and had been putting weight on him?

    There is part of your answer besides training.
    Horses seem rather docile when they are skinny or lacking the energy. Now you have weight on him and seeing what his training issues really are.
         
        02-12-2013, 10:53 PM
      #15
    Foal
    Thank you all for the insights. The descriptions on what to do when he starts his games really helps give me a mental picture, so I can prepare to handle it right. My posture was not good when I lost confidence, I know I physically reflected it. I'm going to pay attention to it now. I'm going to approach him so he knows I'm 5 feet of seriously bad mojo if he misbehaves and follow through. Frankly, it was getting a little frustrating to hear everyone else saying he's such a good boy, because he didn't act like this with them, made me feel worse and of course more unsure. The one person at the barn who said he was playing me actually saw him doing it with me. I think I can turn it around with all your advice before it escalates. He has not done anything more aggressive so far than pinning his ears and walking away. He has pushed into my space but I've been able to back him up and make him move his feet without any fight from him, so hopefully he can be pulled back from this behavior before it becomes worse, if I stay consistent and not let any of it slide just once.

    Part of my problem was I knew nothing about him, and he was so pathetic at first, that I babied him because I felt bad about what he had gone through. Wrong approach, I probably did let him get away with too much when he was weaker and now that he's getting stronger it becomes a problem. Oh boy, I've got a lot of work to do, but I'm committed to it and him, he's stuck with me now. :)
         
        02-12-2013, 10:56 PM
      #16
    Super Moderator
    Sorry, I missed the part about getting him from a feedlot?

    But, for sure, diet makes a big difference in behavior.
         
        02-12-2013, 10:58 PM
      #17
    Yearling
    I can relate to your story, as I got a new horse 5 months ago, she was untouched, and after I got her halter broke, and started leading, she had perfect manners, she would lead nicely, tie, pick up her feet, and listen to everything I asked.

    Over the last 2 months, she has been testing my trust and leadership. She was pushy while leading, getting in my space and have been refusing to do a lot of stuff. I have been working with her a lot, and now she is getting better, learning her role, as a follower, not a leader.

    My advise to you would be do more ground work. Show her YOU are the leader. He gets in your space, get him out, he pushes you, push him back, make him move his feet. If he wants to go one way, make him go the other. It is all how you handle things.
         
        02-12-2013, 11:08 PM
      #18
    Showing
    Hoenstly if a horse pins their ears at me when I'm going to halter them in the field, I chase them off. I make them work. They only get to relax when they get their nose in the halter and it is fastened!

    Bad attitude is not safe. If you don't stop it now, it will only get worse.
         
        02-12-2013, 11:18 PM
      #19
    Weanling
    Yes, he's playing you. Completely agree with everything said. Skyseternalangel, is exactly right. Make him work. Here's what I would do, take him into a pen and practice haltering him, every time he backs away from you or pins his ears, take the lead rope and bang it on the ground and try to get him running by startling him. Swing the lead rope in the air to keep him running and after a few laps stop, and back away releasing the pressure from him. When he then tries to get closer to you, try to halter him again. If he does the same thing get him running and work him. After a while he'll understand that it's just easier taking the halter than having to work.
         
        02-13-2013, 07:57 AM
      #20
    Foal
    I absolutely agree that its unacceptable and potentially dangerous behavior. That's why I was asking for advice to correct it the right way.
    I am more than embarrassed and humiliated that I probably brought it on by not doing the correct things when I should have. I will definitely be working on it. It just took me by surprise and I admit I got rattled and confused by it, and to be honest, my feelings were hurt (sounds silly I know, but I'm being honest), lost my confidence and felt pretty unsure. I need to turn the page now, do the work and keep at it. I messed up and now I have to fix it, and I sure needed the information/advice from everyone to see what path I need to take, thanks everyone.
         

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    behavior, difficult, horse, pinning

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