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Need advice... selfish rant...

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        02-11-2009, 08:58 PM
      #11
    Showing
    Oh Allie, Allie, Allie...
    It's really frustrating to think of what's happened to Denny in the short time you've owned him and tho I never would have wanted to say anything in the past. I also think you over paid for that guy which is another unfortunate situation tho I know had he not hurt himself, even with the market the way it's been, I think you could have sold him for a good buck after putting training on him.
    As for the friesian situation...Life changes alllll the time. You have you dreams and goals, things you think about regularly, things that may or may not happen but that's why they are called dreams. Sometimes those dreams do come around the corner and come true. When those happen, they do affect your life and the way you are currently running things. Sometimes you have to re-adjust your life and your long term goals and plans and I think that's what happening assuming you are getting a friesian.

    I think it's an interesting topic, because I just went thru the exact same thing about 2 month ago. I had Calypso, my draft cross which I adored and I had these plans for her but then one day out of the blue, Cobalt came into the equasion. That affected EVERYTHING. As soon as I wrote out that cheque I knew my life was going to change.

    For me selling Calypso, tho it was very hard(because I had made out all the plans and goals for her)to sell her, was the best decision I have ever made. I own the dream horse I have always wanted to own and I am able to focus 120% on him. Every penny I spend is on him, his tack, his gear, his training. Every moment I spend at the barn is with him. My focus is 100% on him and will always be so. I think once you own a horse of good caliber you can't do anything but focus on him/her. You have spent a lifetime dreaming and wishing you could be in the situation you are in so when it happens YOU HAVE to be there all the way.

    I don't think it's being selfish at all with Denny. You gave him a great home and good care and the situation changed. All it means to him is that someone else is going to be caring for him and feeding him. If you were sending him over to the meat packers or a really bad home then I would think your decision were a selfish one but it wouldnt be the case. As to what you should do with him? I think regardless of the age of the new horse you get (rideable yet or not) seeling Denny would be the best option as it would allow to focus on your new show horse 100%. Now the decision is going to be hard because its finding the right home for him because he is injured and green. A temporary solution might be to lease him or post him for a quick sale as it would allow you to quickl focus on the one horse AND put you in a situation where you can find him the right home.

    I hope it helped. You know how to get a hold of me if you want my advice

    Good luck with your chat with your papa keep us posted.
         
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        02-11-2009, 09:05 PM
      #12
    Showing
    Two more great responses!

    Spyder, this isn't a flavour of the week. This has been my dream since I was a child. Although I believe myself to be a good rider, I don't want to do anything big in the dressage world. I want to show, yes, but I really don't care if I ride another GP horse or not. That would not be my goal with this horse... but thank you for your concern :) Denny would not be a good dressage horse either, I don't think...

    CDT (Kelly) - what an awesome response. Thank you so much, and you know I mean that from the bottom of my heart. It is an amazing opportunity, and I'm still stunned. I agree, I think I would have to focus on just one horse. I would love to be able to keep two, but I'm not sure it's feasable, even from a non-financial standpoint.

    I have a lot to think about... *sigh*

    I'm sorry, I will write more later, it's a lot to digest.
         
        02-11-2009, 10:57 PM
      #13
    Trained
    Take several days, even weeks of deep breaths... This has totally side-swiped you and you are allowing it too. Doesn't sound like a decision needs to be made right this instant. Who know what will happen in the next couple of months? Denny was definitely a lo$s going in, but that's not why you got him. Plus, you can't just assume that any ol' Friesian will do. No matter how much you admire a breed, the breed is not the horse and is not your bond. Also, you have quite a career going on with horses... just what will happen to a Friesian in your life? And how long will he be in your barn? When will the Friesian not be the right one either? I didn't understand your purchase of Denny, but I attributed it to my own lack of experience in "real" horses that cost "real" money. Now, I'm wondering if you were looking for a rags-to-riches story that you could control. Is the story over?

    If you're in it for the money -- dump Denny and get the Friesian. If there's more to it, think about what kind of emotional commitment you made to help Denny *be* more and if you don't accomplish that, will you be disappointed in yourself. If you are comfortable with what you have accomplished already, and know that you have set a good base for him to grow with someone else... maybe you have done enough to satisfy the original commitment.

    OK -- I've kinda babbled on here. I hope something here makes sense. Somewhere you know the answer so take some time to relax, re-group, explore options, emotions, futures, deadlines, goals and the colour of the clouds. When your heart rate has returned to normal, your jaw is back on your head after cleaning off the dirt, maybe then you can make a decision you are (at least reasonably) confident you will be happy with.
         
        02-11-2009, 11:14 PM
      #14
    Showing
    Thanks. I do realize Denny was much overpriced, but he stole my heart. I had to have him, and he was actually less than I was looking to spend.
    I would never just dump Denny, I would find him a good home, one that would care for him as much as I do... or close to it. I wouldn't mind giving him away to the right home, even.
    I'm not sure what you mean about the rags-to-riches story though... could you please explain?
    It's not a money thing at all. It's about fulfilling a dream I've had since I was little, and this is an opportunity to realize that dream.
         
        02-11-2009, 11:50 PM
      #15
    Green Broke
    I'm laughing a little because I think I recall a post very similar to this one when you were debating selling maia. :) sounds to me it's the same inner turmoil, just different horses. I come from the opposite end of the spectrum of people who buy one horse and keep it for the rest of their lives as family member. Unfortunately (and fortunately) my job is buying, training, selling. It's the only way I can afford to own a horse. So every horse I will own will be for sale. (until I win the lottery and buy myself a grand prix horse that is) because of that, i've owned some really nice horses and done some really cool things with them. I see no problem in selling a horse to buy one that is more suitable to meeting your dreams and aspirations. What is your ultimate aspiration? If it's to buy a nice jumper prospect, i'd say keep denny. He's probably more suitable then a friesen in that department. If it's more your dream to have a friesen and do a little dressage or this and that. Get one. Maybe my opinion is a little cold and detached but you have to follow your dreams. Here's my question, why would you keep denny?

    Plus, if someone is willing to make an investment on your behalf, heck, go for it! Regardless if it's your dad or someone with money at the barn who thinks you might be able to make them a nice horse if they bought you one. That's definitely not being spoiled brat if that's what you're worried about!
         
        02-12-2009, 12:01 AM
      #16
    Trained
    JDI -- Rags-to-riches -- I mean like a cinderella story. You've done it with lots of horses and somehow I saw Denny as a more intense example of what you've done before. Something like what I like to do -- take horse that would otherwise go to slaughter and give them health and a home for life. What you do is the same with their spirit and skill set. Once they are at their set goal (for lack of better words) you are ready to move on. Also, all this time, I expect you are demanding more and more from yourself. So, it's not just a Cinderella story for the horses, but a long-term one for you in your horse abilities.

    Make sense?

    And, I know you would never "dump" a horse -- I was trying to be very harsh to indicate how those people that are ALL about money can be. Not you. I know it's not that for you. You care too much!
         
        02-12-2009, 12:03 AM
      #17
    Chat Moderator
    The way I read this is: my dream is owning a Friesan and my dad is willing to help with the cost of buying it. But I am not sure I can afford both it and Denny. I love Denny but he has some medical issues and the big question is "Am I selfish for thinking of selling him to follow my dream"

    My answner is NO, you are not selfish. You need to be practical about it. But which horse will better suit me desires and plans for a horse.
         
        02-12-2009, 12:19 AM
      #18
    Trained
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Spyder    
    Personally I have found Friesians to be more of a horse de jour and just as we all went goo eyed over the arab or the coloured TB or __________(put whatever breed that took your heart) I see too many going for breeds that have an exoticness about them.

    I am a practical person and will select the horse that fits what I want to do not because it is a Canadian or an Arab or a Friesian or Warmblood. Do not let yourself be caught up in a breed simply because you like the breed when it may not be suitable for what you really want to do as far as any specific riding discipline. The Friesians are not the most suited for dressage and many are feeling disappointed after thinking they have their next dressage horse.
    I agree completely.
    Decide what you want to do, then buy a horse suitable for it. There are many fabulous dressage horses for sale in Alberta right now. I know of a few breeders who are going out of business because they simply can't sell horses right now. If you need any suggestions as to where to look, who to talk to or anything, I would be definitely willing to help you!
    As for Denny, I know he is probably the love of your life but you really need to decide whether or not owning and riding him is in your best interests. The best way for any rider to progress is to own the best horse that they can afford and ride. I made a very tough decision a year ago to buy a new horse and sell the mare I knew inside and out, but in the end I haven't looked back and ended up with the perfect horse for me right now.
         
        02-12-2009, 12:23 AM
      #19
    Showing
    upnover - my goodness, it's true! Scary. I guess I might have to take the chance then, hey?

    northern - thank you for explaining that. I feel bad for a horse and take it in... it's what I like to do. I think Denny has come so far already, he has a lot of potential, but ... I am not the only one that could possibly take him further. I don't know what I want.

    kentucky - thank you. That was straightforward, kinda what I need... blah. You read it completely right.
         
        02-12-2009, 12:26 AM
      #20
    Showing
    anabel, thank you for your reply. Once again, though, even though my name is JustDressageIt, I am not looking for a completely 100% dressage horse. Of course I believe in dressage as a basis for all good training/riding, however, like I said, I don't need to or want to persue it completely competitively.
    It's a dream of many many years come to life. It's not the flavor of the week, I have thought about this for years... but thank you :)
         

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