Need honest, unbiased opinion on what to do regarding my new horse - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 44 Old 09-13-2010, 03:50 PM
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I'd send her back. It just sounds bad from the get-go. Go get something that you can have fun on. I would let the sellers know that you feel that you were misled...however don't expect much in the way of a refund. Also...if they offer you another horse, don't do it. Lots of these horse trader types will keep you moving from horse to horse for months...knowing that eventually you will give up and send the poor beastie off to the trainers.

It probably is a combination of saddle fit, poor training and attitude.
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post #12 of 44 Old 09-13-2010, 07:40 PM
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if she wants you to send the horse for a months training, make her pay for it!!! if that doesn't work you lose nothing. if not send her back.
one quick thing if you are looking for a horse to buy ask the seller if you can have a 30 day trial with the horse to see how thing's go, that way in the end if you don't like it you always send it back, if there owner is not willing to do that i'd walk away from the sale any ways.
what did your vet say about her when they did a pre purchise exam?

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post #13 of 44 Old 09-13-2010, 07:58 PM
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Nowhere did you say or even imply that this horse is YOUR horse; you've no visceral response to the horse that says so. You need to feel the connection, for all of the work, time, $, love & care that a horse requires. So, I vote to return her & get the gut feeling next time.

Good luck; we've all been paired with the wrong horse at some time, which experience improves our judgment for the next time.

Last edited by Northern; 09-13-2010 at 08:01 PM.
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post #14 of 44 Old 09-13-2010, 08:21 PM
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I have been though something very similar, as probably most of us have over the years. However-I have never bought a horse that was returnable.....Guess it never occurred to me. If you can return her, I would. She needs to be "off the payroll". so to speak, tso that you can get something you can "connect" with, trust, and have fun with. After allm that IS why we have them, right?

I made the mistake of sending mine for training for several months, and really TRIED to get over his bucking issue, but I just could not be comfortable on him. Stop the bleeding (from your wallet) now.

Good luck finding the one for you. They are out there and it is very special once you have one.

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post #15 of 44 Old 09-13-2010, 09:25 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks again for all of the responses.

To address a couple of things - I guess the reason I haven't called her "my horse" is because the people I have been talking to IRL keep correcting me every time I refer to her as that. I'm guessing it's because they feel that I am in over my head and are trying to break the emotional attachment that I have started to create with her. I had enough of a connection with her that I chose to buy her (rather than take a horse I could get for free) and that I have reached out for advice (both online and with IRL contacts) before throwing in the towel. I am the first do admit that I am not a horse trainer - I have so much to learn - and I do not know how much good I will be able to do her if she continues to behave in this pattern. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am trying to make the decision before I make any more of either a financial or emotional commitment to her if it is very likely that I am not going to have a positive result with her in the end. (Due to my lack of know-how and her lack of willingness to please).

I'm wondering if her seller might be willing to even pitch in for part of the training if that's what it takes. The bottom line is she promised something that this horse is not. I wouldn't be on here bitching if I hadn't specifically been told that she was experienced out on the trails, that she aimed to please, etc etc.

As for returning her, the seller vocalized on numerous occassions (before we bought either horse) that they'd take either back at any time (vs not knowing where they'd be) -- they just wouldn't promise money back. I didn't realize that was so rare, only because I've shown/bred dogs for over a decade now and that was something that was always in my written contracts.

I'm not looking for a refund - I know the seller well enough to know that I'd have a better chance of seeing pigs fly (they had to nickel and dime us over every.single.thing). Like I said to my daughter, if I choose to part with her it's going to kill me not knowing how she's being taken care of, what she's doing, etc. Then when I go outside and work with her (we did again this afternoon) I'm back to feeling like I'm in over my head and want to cry because all I wanted was a reliable horse to ride.

We did work with her today - free lunging and other things (some basics like getting her to stand still while having the saddle pad put on her back). My daughter got on her and was able to walk/trot/canter with only 2 head tosses. Tomorrow she'll be worked 2x again and then ridden to see if today was a fluke or if we might be moving in the right direction.

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post #16 of 44 Old 09-14-2010, 01:40 AM
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To play the Devil's Advicate; how many times did you try these horses prior to purchase? Did you get a prepurchase exam?
I will re-iterate my last post as well. I've seen both happen - where the seller was clearly the one at fault, and some where the buyers have been in the wrong, one way or another.
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post #17 of 44 Old 09-14-2010, 09:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Charis View Post
To play the Devil's Advicate; how many times did you try these horses prior to purchase? Did you get a prepurchase exam?
I will re-iterate my last post as well. I've seen both happen - where the seller was clearly the one at fault, and some where the buyers have been in the wrong, one way or another.
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I got the impression they didn't test drive this horse by the posts. With a good rider the horse might be every bit of what they promised. The rider is possibly causing most of these issues. If you are scared and not confident the horse is going to get scared, balk and not go forward.
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post #18 of 44 Old 09-14-2010, 09:30 AM
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I guess I am funny, I want to be able to get on my horse and ride her without worryinga about her tossing her head, or rearing. Been there done that, and tried out two different horses before I found Smokie. Ended up trading her for a 6 yr old gelding who was supposed to have been trained and be what I wanted. He was too much, I did not have fun riding him and then found and traded him for Smokie.
Your horse reminds me of the horse my friend has. She has sent her to numerous trainers and the horse still rears, pulls back and has gone over. She finally admitted to me she is afraid of the horse and doesn't even want to ride her. She has gone as far as saying she might slightly sedate her to ride and see how she does with a calming paste. To me, this is so stupid, the horse is not what she wants, she is afraid of her and not much point in feeding a horse that you are afraid to ride.
Having dealt with lots of "horse sellers" in my time, the first flag should have been" her only fault is carrying her head high". These sellers know what this horse does and that is why they sold her.... Of course they will take her back, they will try to sell her to the next unsuspecting person....
I would not but money into this horse, return her and find another one that you will REALLY enjoy and want to ride. I know lots of folks do this, but I decided long ago, I do not want to have to lunge a horse till its tired before I get on to ride. There are way to many good horses out there than a horse that you are spending money on, possibly sending to a trainer for more money and then forcing yourself to get on and ride her. I always say, if they will lift their feet , even six inches to begin with, they will end up rearing higher and higher. A martingale is only a "fix" to the problem that will get worse. And I have seen horses go straight up and over with a standing martingale on it.
My vote is take her back before you or your daughter get hurts and get a horse well trained and fun to ride.
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post #19 of 44 Old 09-14-2010, 10:08 AM
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Originally Posted by lollipop View Post
Her advice was to return the horse - she thinks (and my daughter does to) that once we fix one problem, that she is going to develop a new one because of her disposition. My question is - what do YOU think?


Best advice you are going to get.
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post #20 of 44 Old 09-14-2010, 11:15 AM
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Ok you had a long post so I am going to try to offer some advice on a few of the things you hit on. First off your biggest problem is the horse is intimidating you. A horse is so sensitive and intuitive they can pick up on your butterflies so to this is the first thing you must do something about. Sending the horse off to the trainer isn't going to do much help to you, if it returns to your butterflies. Trainers are so confident they can handle even horrible horses and do well, where as a novice can't.

The horse in my opinion is just being a horse. They are like teenagers...they try you to see what boundaries you are going to restrict them too. Set the boundaries and inforce them. Even a dead broke horse will react to a new saddle that doesn't fit. Make sure your saddle fits the horse. If it does, then you need to make sure everything else fits, that there is no pinching going on. The head throwing is a sign of rejection. The horse is saying, NO I AM NOT DOING THIS, head throwing is often followed by rearing. Horses warn us, just like they do thier pasture buddies BEFORE they do stuff. A mare will swish her tale in frustration before she kicks, she will pin her ears before she she is throwing her head to warn you, she doesn't want to do what is asked and if you keep it up she is saying she is going to come up on you. We have a horse that had only been ridden with a hack so she had an issue with the bit and would throw the head alot because she didn't understand what was being asked of her. Make sure this is not the case here. Make sure you are asking her something she understands too, you have to converse with her. Make sure you are doing that correctly. I have seen people pull back on the reigns and kick or squeeze the horse to make it go. That is like pressing the gas pedal on a car and the brake at the same time. Make sure you are asking her to move correctly.

She is just asserting herself. Get yourself a riding crop or something you can carry in your hand to give you some confidence. I am not saying you have to ever use it, but it becomes your warning to the horse. Just like her head throwing, it is telling her you have some power. I am also going to suggest you buy an inexpensive rope halter that has some knots on the nose. Use this to correct the head throwing by putting on the bridle over it and attaching a lead line too the halter...walk alongside someone who is mounted on the horse...if she throws the head jerk down a few times on the her that her actions have reprocustions other than you just getting frustrated and getting off. She is learning every step of the way...right now she thinks she is in control because she has not been proven otherwise...again this is normal, typical horse behaviour.

Get focused. What do you want from your horse? What do you expect? Clear out your head...take a deep breath...and show this horse that is what you expect...and nothing less. Be more determined to get this horse acting correctly than this horse is at being disobendient and then the scales will start to tip in your favor. She will try you a few times, but if you are persistant she will knock it off. I am not going to lie to you, it will take inner strength to do it. Outer strength gets you not very far with horses, they are to powerful to conquer that way. It takes inner, persistant, strength. You must understand everytime you do battle with a horse and it wins, you are only reinforcing bad behaviour. So get in there with an all or nothing attitude. Do everything in baby steps...start small...disect everything into small chunks that you can achieve.

You said you had been adviced to lunge the horse. Ok, lunging can be used to warm a horse up get it flexing and its muscles warmed up for excercise. It can take the edge off of a horse that has pent up energy too, like one that is stalled alot, before riding. BUT it can also get a horse hot. Like my horse moves in slow motion until she is warmed up, then she is much more difficult to if you are having issues handling a horse that is "cold" getting it "hot" may not be so good before riding.

There are no perfect horses. Everyone has something that it needs to work on. And every horse lives by inbred rules. The main one is - I must lead or I must follow. She is leading right now, the same as any other horse you get will do, until you step up and say I AM THE BOSS you will follow me. They will all push you around if they get the chance.

I will close with this. Everyone needs to start out with a horse they feel comfortable with. Sometimes we get horses that we just don't feel comfortable with and it causes us to fear interacting with them instead of looking forward to it. You should enjoy your horse - point blank. This horse seems like it has some quirks, but nothing you can't handle if you put your mind to it...but that is your personal decision if you are willing to put the time and effort into it.
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