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Need honest, unbiased opinion on what to do regarding my new horse

This is a discussion on Need honest, unbiased opinion on what to do regarding my new horse within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

     
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        09-14-2010, 11:18 AM
      #21
    Banned
    If you have the money to spend, send the horse to the trainer to see if more training will help the horse work for you. It can never hurt. This will, if nothing else, help the horse find a better home than if the horse had less training. Money spent on good training is never a bad thing.

    If training works REALLY well then you have the horse you like and she works for you. If the training only works some what well, the horse has gained some know how that will serve her well in the future with a more experienced rider.


    If you do not have the money then send the horse back and carefully (very carefully) shop for a horse that is appropriate for what you need.
         
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        09-14-2010, 11:24 AM
      #22
    Weanling
    You said in an earlier post you are not a horse trainer. You are if you have anything to do with horses. You are always training them, and they are always training you. Every horse is that way...so you have to change that mindset...even if you sell this one and get a new one...if you are being submissive...your new horse will walk on you too. You can only change yourself.
         
        09-14-2010, 11:32 AM
      #23
    Banned
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by herdbound    
    You said in an earlier post you are not a horse trainer. You are if you have anything to do with horses. You are always training them, and they are always training you. Every horse is that way...so you have to change that mindset...even if you sell this one and get a new one...if you are being submissive...your new horse will walk on you too. You can only change yourself.
    This is good in theory. But it does not work in real life.

    Some people will always be quiet and submissive and they just have to find a horse that is willing to be a good horse for them any way.

    Lots of people are not trainers and admit it. Nothing wrong with that.
         
        09-14-2010, 11:51 AM
      #24
    Weanling
    I will agree to disagree with you on that alwaysbehind. Horses are so intelligent they are always filtering input given to them by us...no matter what you are doing be it so insignificant as standing next to them...they are learning from you. I will agree that a submissive person needs to find a submissive horse, to make life easier for them, but even a submissive horse is still a horse.
         
        09-14-2010, 11:57 AM
      #25
    Banned
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by herdbound    
    I will agree to disagree with you on that alwaysbehind. Horses are so intelligent they are always filtering input given to them by us...no matter what you are doing be it so insignificant as standing next to them...they are learning from you. I will agree that a submissive person needs to find a submissive horse, to make life easier for them, but even a submissive horse is still a horse.
    If horses were THAT intelligent then we would not be riding them.

    There are lots and lots and lots of horses our there that do fine with an owner who knows their limits and is willing to say they are not a trainer.

    Saying you are not a trainer and just wanting to enjoy your horse does not mean that you allow your horse to do whatever it wants whenever you want. Huge difference.
         
        09-14-2010, 12:04 PM
      #26
    Weanling
    I think the fact that we CAN teach them to let us ride them is a testament to just how smart they are...so again I agree to disagree with you. There are horses who have that have a naturally submissive nature...the horse in question is this post does not. I find totally submissive horses to be boring. I like horses with quirks, it is satisfying to see progress in a horse. I have a few professional trainer friends, and they will be the first ones to agree with me, that no matter what they do to "fix" a horse if the owner doesn't do everything the exact same way they do it, the work will be undone. So yes the average horse owner can "train" a horse, for the good and for the bad.
         
        09-14-2010, 12:07 PM
      #27
    Weanling
    Wow - what an awful situation, to be taken for such a ride by someone who should have known better! Rearing is an extremely dangerous habit and not something a person who is inexperienced with horses should try to fix themselves... it sounds like you definitely have not forged a strong bond with this horse on the ground or in the saddle, so if you can bear the thought of placing her and finding a horse more suitable, I'd advise you to do that. I have not yet read all of the replies to your post, but I'm sorry for your situation.

    I bought my mare and the lady said she was kid-safe family horse... great on trails, can do anything. Turns out my mare had a wicked head toss and even bolted on me twice in the first month of owning her. With a TON of patience and determination and the help of an experienced, confidence boosting instructor, we got past that. We had to learn to work together... but there are several things she has yet to do: buck, rear or bite.

    To my way of thinking this horse is quickly becoming more and more dangerous and unfortunately, you and your daughter don't have the experience nor the confidence (rightly so!!!!) to even attempt to fix it yourself. You are doing a good thing looking into a trainer, but just ask yourself if you are willing to spend that kind of money on a horse you don't know is a sure thing? Maybe with lessons for yourself and someone experienced to ride some sense into your horse, you can build a better relationship? If you want to keep her, find an instructor that will work with you and your horse and is someone you trust and like. If you don't want to deal with it anymore and want to just be able to trail ride, find an already trained horse, but also take lessons (it will help boost your confidence). I feel that horses that challenge you improve your riding abilities, but sometimes you still need help from eyes on the ground. I hope that makes sense...
         
        09-14-2010, 12:19 PM
      #28
    Showing
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by herdbound    
    I think the fact that we CAN teach them to let us ride them is a testament to just how smart they are...so again I agree to disagree with you.
    If horses were so smart, they'd never allow us to ride them.

    They're only nominally smarter than cows, who can also be broken to ride.

    Horses are masters at reading body language, but don't let that fool you into thinking they're the braniacs of the animal kingdom.

    Dogs and pigs are much smarter than horses will ever be.

    Horses are as intelligent as they need to be, but we shouldn't anthropomorphise them and assume they have human-like intelligence. They don't.
         
        09-14-2010, 12:28 PM
      #29
    Weanling
    They have a different type of intelligence than humans. I don't superimpose human understanding onto horses. They do have to possess some intelligence though in order to "learn" through "training". A horse learns to stand still, it learns to lead, it learns to walk, trot, lop on cue. It learns to trust. It learns who is in charge, and who it can walk on. It learns how to untie gates, it learns how to undo latches, it learns how to unscrew lids from grain barrels. I see intelligence when I look in my horses eyes, I am sorry you do not.
         
        09-14-2010, 02:48 PM
      #30
    Showing
    To be honest with you, knowing what I know now about horses, I would take the mare back.

    I do find it innappropriate that the sellers would have sold you this mare seeing that you were not experienced with horses. I do find it a little strange and would definitely check that they do actually hold onto that promise of allowing you to return the mare. I bet you they already knew from the beginning and could see that it wouldn't work out, and probably saw that you also had a little bit of doubt that this mare was to much horse, and made you a bogus return agreement to make the transaction smoother. I would be curious to find out if they do hold onto that promise if you do return her.

    It's hard to tell from what you describe and without seeing the horse in flesh and watch her misbehave, what it is she is doing and why-but to me at this point, it sounds like she's very intelligent and learned which buttons she could push and how to handle you guys. Some horses are very good and extremely intelligent and will maneuver things their way as much as possible. It's definitely something you can fix, but it will take time and a good trainer to work with. She will be very persistent and she will continue to test you until she finally learns that she just can't behave that way anymore(she will always test you just not as much).

    As a beginner horse owner, this is going to be a very testy first horse to have, and would honestly bring her back if they do keep up with their promise. This is an issue that will take months to correct and you WILL NEED a trainer to do it with, or someone with experience. You also don't want to get hurt or take the fun out of horses for you or your daughter.

    I would bring her back and look for another horse-and take an experienced horse owner/rider with you.
         

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