Need to rant
   

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Need to rant

This is a discussion on Need to rant within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

     
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        09-27-2010, 11:55 AM
      #1
    Foal
    Need to rant

    Long story short I am new to horse and am very green. Rode a couple of times on and off for about 4 years at the walk. I ride at a friends place she has about 20 horses and her daughter teaches lessons. Most of the horses there are over fed and underworked if that makes sense.

    I rode a "beginner" horse they had for a while, he's good at building confidence on the ground and I trust him( thanks to her dad), he's just completely lazy and unmotivated. I've been riding him for about a year with no progress past a trot and this is barely staying on. Not to mention I'm still nervous about horses other than him.

    I've taken a few lessons with the daughter but I don't feel like she's engaged enough. Unless she lunges me she's messing around on the phone texting or talking with other borders. The talking with borders doesn't bother me it helps relax me but the phone thing does. Also she has a very bad habit of talking down to me. Like I said I am new to horses so when a horse "acts" out I don't know what to do, (but I don't panic), however I don't like to hear "move out of the way" or "what are you doing give me that."

    She's not really a big fan of ground work, and believes most of the time should be spent in a saddle, though there are no wet blankets. Needless to say there are horses that run me over when I lead them or lagging so far behind I feel like I'm pulling them. So I get yelled at by her because I am not correcting them, well if I knew what to do I wouldn't have this problem and yelling certianly doesn't help. Usually the correction ends up in some form of aggression, I understand that it is necessary when the time comes for it, but not all the time.

    I like to spend time with horses and enjoy them, not rush to ride. I would love to own one but don't have the money to care for one. I like the place going out there because I learn a lot from my friend and her husband, but her daugther I just can't get over.

    An event that happened yesterday was the last straw I've had with the daughter. It just made me feel like crap and made me question about riding anymore. I love horses and have a burning passion to become a better rider and work my up to cantering for the first time in life. However I don't trust the horses well enough to do anything.

    There's one horse that I like in particular that is green broke. I just feel in my heart and in my mind that if I just worked with that horse the way I want to, I would be able to build a trusting relationship and that my confidence would improve. I want to ask but I am scared to. I know my friend will say yes since the horses belong to her but then I would have to deal with issues with her daughter and her single-minded "training"

    Do you think this is a good idea? I have been looking at some of CA stuff for about a little more over a year and feel confident enough to at least attempt it with this particular horse.
         
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        09-27-2010, 12:08 PM
      #2
    Showing
    What I think you need is a professional trainer, not someone's daughter playing at it.

    Please do NOT try and take on a green horse just because you've watched some DVDs and have some romanticized idea about 'bonding' with this animal.

    You need actual lessons from a professional trainer on good, reliable school horses. Once you've learned how to deal with horses on the ground as well as in the saddle, you'll realize how little you actually know.

    I've had horses for 32 years, and don't know everything there is to know about them. Nobody, not even the best trainer with decades of experience, will ever know everything about horses.

    If you ignore my advice and bull ahead with your plans, expect to get badly hurt or maybe even dead. Horses are big, dangerous, flight animals. Knowing less than nothing makes you even more likely to get hurt, because what you don't know really CAN get you killed.
         
        09-27-2010, 12:14 PM
      #3
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Speed Racer    
    What I think you need is a professional trainer, not someone's daughter playing at it.

    Please do NOT try and take on a green horse just because you've watched some DVDs and have some romanticized idea about 'bonding' with this animal.

    You need actual lessons from a professional trainer on good, reliable school horses. Once you've learned how to deal with horses on the ground as well as in the saddle, you'll realize how little you actually know.

    I've had horses for 32 years, and don't know everything there is to know about them. Nobody, not even the best trainer with decades of experience, will ever know everything about horses.

    If you ignore my advice and bull ahead with your plans, expect to get badly hurt or maybe even dead. Horses are big, dangerous, flight animals. Knowing less than nothing makes you even more likely to get hurt, because what you don't know really CAN get you killed.
    Speed racer thanks for the honest response, that is why I asked for an opinion on this, as I have had second thoughts and started guessing myself. I told my friend I much prefered a push button horse and was told that I wouldn't learn anything, I disagree, but we respect each others opinion.

    That is why I wanted to hear from other horse people.
         
        09-27-2010, 12:17 PM
      #4
    Banned
    I agree with you. You need a push button horse.


    Some people need to learn on a horse that knows what they are doing. Other people learn better on a horse that they learn along with. There are tons more of the former than the latter.
         
        09-27-2010, 12:20 PM
      #5
    Yearling
    ^^I totally agree with SR. It took a "push button" horse to build my confidence. Then I moved up to something a little more challenging. I think that's the one of the best things any one person can do when first getting into horses.
         
        09-27-2010, 12:24 PM
      #6
    Green Broke
    Agreed with others about choosing a suitable horse to learn on.

    However, the daughters behaviour is unacceptable, very rude and unprofessional. I hope you don't mind me asking but are you paying for these lessons? It sounds to me like the daughter views you as a waste of her precious time, I'm not saying this excuses the behaviour but it might explain it. Either way I would be looking elsewhere for lessons. Sometimes it is hard when the lines of friendship and business are blurred - mates rates are great but if you aren't getting the full benefit from the service I wouldn't bother.
         
        09-27-2010, 12:34 PM
      #7
    Showing
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JustPaint    
    I told my friend I much prefered a push button horse and was told that I wouldn't learn anything, I disagree, but we respect each others opinion.
    I disagree with your friend.

    Let me tell you a little story. As I said, I've had horses 32 years.

    3 years ago, one of my horses hurt me badly. He was trying to get me off, and meant business. Bucked like a rodeo horse, and continued to buck even when I was flung about like a rag doll. I wound up breaking 3 ribs on my left side, my right collarbone, and got a massive concussion. Thank God I was wearing a helmet, or it would have been an even more serious brain injury.

    2 months after that craziness, I lost my go-to horse. The one I trusted implicitly, and knew he would never knowingly hurt me or try to get me off.

    The accident, along with losing my heart horse, made me terrified of riding. I'd get dry heaves just thinking about getting back up on a horse.

    For me, not riding just wasn't an option, but I knew I'd never do it again if I didn't get help. At this point I'd had horses 29 years and was far from being a newbie.

    I found a trainer in my area who gave me lessons on her old, slow, reliable school horses. It wasn't that I didn't know how to ride, it was just that my confidence had been shattered.

    My trainer let me pick my own pace. She pushed when I needed it, and backed off when I told her I needed a little more time on some things. But the persistence to move forward was always there from her, as well as within myself.

    I'm now back to riding my own horses and have my confidence back in spades, but I'd have never gotten back in the saddle if I hadn't taken that first step and realized I needed help. Not just any help, but professional help.

    I'd rather you not get beaten and busted up before you even know what riding and caring for horses is all about. Too many people are rushed into something for which they're not yet ready. It sounds like your friend is trying to push you, and you have the good sense to realize that's not going to work.

    Find a good, reliable, professional trainer and learn on schoolies. You learn from every horse you ride, not just the green or badly trained. Get your basics down, and if you feel confident enough to tackle a greenie somewhere down the line, at least you'll have a good solid background.
         
        09-27-2010, 12:39 PM
      #8
    Foal
    With your situation I also agree. I started with an extremely "made" horse. Then I moved on to another that was also "made" and so on. Baby steps, get your knowledge and confidence and get to the point where your bored and have to move on to a little bit more challenging of a ride. More challenging does not mean green. I don't ever think people should learn on a green horse. There are plenty of horses out there that are very trained but just require you to "ride a little more". It's not fair to the green horse nor the rider when you try and learn on a green horse. This can cause confusion, aggravation and can be very dangerous. I also think it is very important to know and develope confidence with ground work also. You shouldn't be questioning what to do when they drag you around. That's the first mistake before getting on its back. Safety is key to a healthy riding experience. You will learn far faster if your on a horse that will teach you. Earn respect and trust from the second you walk up to the horse. Stand up for your feelings and never let someone put you in an uncomfortable situation when learing to ride. You need a professional that will take the time to teach you from ground up on all the "what ifs". I wish you the best of luck and BE SAFE;)
         
        09-27-2010, 12:44 PM
      #9
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by sarahver    
    Agreed with others about choosing a suitable horse to learn on.

    However, the daughters behaviour is unacceptable, very rude and unprofessional. I hope you don't mind me asking but are you paying for these lessons? It sounds to me like the daughter views you as a waste of her precious time, I'm not saying this excuses the behaviour but it might explain it. Either way I would be looking elsewhere for lessons. Sometimes it is hard when the lines of friendship and business are blurred - mates rates are great but if you aren't getting the full benefit from the service I wouldn't bother.
    I paid her ONCE and would NEVER do it again, so now I just work off the lessons by feeding and helping out.

    Its not just me she views as a waste of time, but others as well she'll pretend to be sick so she won't have to give a lesson, but she doesn't put that phone down.

    I really don't want to leave I've learned so much from my friend and her husband I have a great time when I'm over there. I was looking to do a lease on a horse that would not cost me an arm and a leg which is how I met them. Plus there were the very few that offered western riding in my area.
         
        09-27-2010, 12:50 PM
      #10
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JustPaint    

    Its not just me she views as a waste of time, but others as well she'll pretend to be sick so she won't have to give a lesson, but she doesn't put that phone down.
    Ugh I know EXACTLY the type of person you are talking about. If I had to guess I would say she is probably between the age of 16-21 and thinks the world revolves around her, I have absolutely no time for people like that. (not saying all people of this age are like that, don't be offended everyone.)

    I hope you can sort something out, sounds like you need a good solid horse to learn on and an instructor that is willing to give you all of their time and attention so that you can advance at a reasonable pace. Any chance of getting a different person to give you lessons?
         

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