Need some Moral Support..... - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 39 Old 08-16-2012, 12:34 AM
Join Date: Jul 2012
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Im just throwing in my two cents. Im sorry that the people that have posted have probably sounded just like your parents. Most adults forget they used to be a kid once with dreams, however unrealistic they may sound now. My story:

My parents had plenty of room for a horse, and I worked since I was 15. The answer was no. No reason, just we said so. I cried. I pleaded. Cried some more. I was a good kid. I had good grades. Never into trouble. They just weren't and aren't horse people. They vacationed alot and didn't want the responsibility. My dad probably said 100 times: when you get your own place, you can have whatever you want. That was probably the most dangerous thing hes ever said to me. Because I made it my life goal.

It took me until I was 26. I have 3. At my house. I built the barn. The fence. The whole shebang. ALONE. and there were days I collapsed crying in the midst of working on things, I was so tired. I do all of it mostly by myself. Im single and I live alone. And its hard. But it can be done. I also have a good job though and went to a good college. With zero horse time from when I wanted one at 12 til I was 22 but I never gave up. I spent 4 years riding others horses. I even drove an hour and a half one way to ride two days a week.

I went from being told no to one horse, to having 3. It only took me 14 years lol.
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post #12 of 39 Old 08-16-2012, 12:57 AM
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If you REALLY want it, you'll make it happen.
Smart people who do well in life, are the ones who are able to discriminate between their current wants, and their long term dreams.
99.9% of the time, we must sacrifice the things that we want NOW, in order to set ourselves up to achieve our dreams.

Right NOW, I would love to go interstate with my horse, and spend a few months working with one of the top national Grand Prix Dressage riders who has invited me to work with him when he comes to my state to coach.
That would mean giving up my job, blowing my savings, selling my car, my trailer, leaving my OH behind and probably selling my young horse.
For a few months of intense learning, which would be GREAT, I will have set my life back a number of years. To me, it's not worth it.

Instead, I'm working towards setting myself up, getting substantial savings behind me, getting locked into a career that I enjoy, buying a property and THEN, MAYBE I'll be able to spend some time training interstate with my horse.

You say you can ride 'a bit'. Why not spend the time that you're studying, having riding lessons to improve your riding and horsemanship skills? To me, that is the logical, intelligent answer. You will be working towards setting your life up, while also improving your equestrian skills - by the time you finish study, you'll be a good, capable rider with a degree and a well paying job. THEN you can get a horse. You have a long life ahead of you, you don't need to squeeze it all into the NOW.
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post #13 of 39 Old 08-16-2012, 01:10 AM Thread Starter
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Location: Washington State
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Thanks for that story LonesomeRanch gives me hope.....I probably just need to slow down. I'm to ambitious for a teen. Which I guess isn't bad.....but just need to slow down. I talked to my mom and she said she'd be willing to give me riding lessons. Which makes me happy. And I'm not completely isolated from horses, I take care of my neighbor's horses. It's just I want a horse I can pour my heart and soul into, a horse that I can call my own. The horses I work with love me, they'll come sprinting across the pasture when they see me, it's just I can't call them MY horse, MY pony. And I hope I'm not sounding selfish. I just want a horse that looks to me as it's leader, owner, and friend.

The name for my horse....either Joey or Buck (Short for Buckley)
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post #14 of 39 Old 08-16-2012, 01:35 AM
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I have to laugh about the poster that thinks we all sound like your parents and have forgotten our dreams. That is just simply not true. What the rest of us have learned is that dreams just don't happen because you want them to. This ain't no disney movie. In real life, you have to work hard and be dedicated...then work harder still. I still have dreams myself, but I have learned that having dreams doesn't mean you should have instant gratification.

To the OP..your parents are worried about your future and that is exactly what they should be doing. I don't blame them for not allowing you to burden yourself with a horse this close to college. Put that money you would spend on a horse into a savings account. You will be glad you did down the road. You can make your dreams come true, but you need to take care of yourself first. Get through college and get your career going and then by yourself a really nice horse.

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post #15 of 39 Old 08-16-2012, 02:58 AM Thread Starter
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Location: Washington State
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Yeah, that might be what I just might have to do. Or get a girlfriend that has horses......haha. Hopefully my dreams won't die. But I don't think they're my dreams anymore. Horse ownership is my goal. That's the lifestyle I've chosen. And I've never been more happy and sure of myself since I got into this.

Just got done watching Crossfire Trails....that is a great movie, always puts me in a good mood.
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post #16 of 39 Old 08-16-2012, 06:39 AM
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If I was you, I would go volunteer anywhere you can, it won't cost your parents money. I know people who would start by mucking out stables in exchange for lessons and build from there. Relies you know nothing, do whatever jobs you can get, in as many differant places so you gain experiance.

Most importantly go to college and get a good job so you can own horses in the future! I speaking as someone who works with horses for a living, get a non horsey job and have horses for enjoyment!
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post #17 of 39 Old 08-16-2012, 07:31 AM
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Spend this time taking lessons, possibly working at the stable (this might give you more lessons for free), volunteering at rescues. Rescues need a lot of tlc and you might learn valuable lessons about horse upkeep, groundwork, training and riding. Stables generally like young men around (kinda assumed you were sorry if you arent) to fix stuff or help load hay. This is stuff I want to do but I don't have the time, being in my last year of computer programming. So in the meantime I surf this forum learning as much as I can. Did you know that male horses need there sheaths cleaned?
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post #18 of 39 Old 08-16-2012, 07:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Horse racer View Post
My cousin and his wife want to move down from Seattle to the town I live in and they have 2 horses. I just talked to them and they said they would let me keep a horse on their land, I just have to pay for the feed! So thats about $100 a month, which isn't too bad. Might be more but I wouldn't hae o pay boarding.
HR, $100 is not much, but trim is another $40 (and if you shoe it'll be $120 - 200 depending on 2 or 4 hoofs every 4 to 8 weeks, yearly shots and coggins, possible vet emergency, etc. Plus your relatives may be welcoming you today, but won't tomorrow (I know lots of stories when boarding at friend's or relative's didn't turn out well at all, and caused lots of drama). And mech engineering is tough, so you'll be studying, studying, studying, if you want good grades, which won't leave you too much time for work and hobbies.

I do understand your dreams (I didn't get my first horse till I was done with my degree and got a more or less stable job, and I was dreaming about one since I was 5 yo), but there are priorities in life. I'd suggest you to look into lessons and volunteer in barn or rescue on weekends to keep learning and getting ready for your very own horse. :)

Good luck!
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post #19 of 39 Old 08-16-2012, 09:42 AM
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Just because we are adults (and in my case an old hag) doesn't mean we have forgotten what it's like to be young and full of dreams. It might mean, though, that we have learned how to prioritize. If you want to get ANYWHERE, you have to have a goal and a plan. Without either you get nowhere. And if you are always looking at your immediate wants, you'll also get nowhere. Decide what you want to be, where you want to be, and then plan on a way to achieve your dreams. That's how it works.
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post #20 of 39 Old 08-16-2012, 10:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Horse racer View Post
Engineering is my career. I want to work for Boeing. I'm not into airplanes, but they're always looking for engineers and engineering pays well.
I'm listening to your reasoning and remembering that you are two years away from college. I hope you'll take this in the spirit in which it is offered by an old lady probably old enough to be your grandmother. You've got time. You've decided that engineering is your career...but you have LOTS of time. I worry that while your reasoning sounds logical, it's based on one company and it's not even something you have a passion for. Things change. Economies change, companies change. You can change your location. You should be VERY open to change because you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't limit yourself to a choice you've made so early.

Whatever you do in life to support yourself should be something you enjoy...something you value and have a passion for. Otherwise the vast majority of your life will be spent in wage slavery. If you truly believe in and enjoy your work, it isn't work. If you don''s a modern form of slavery. Open your mind to all the wonderful ways that people find to pay for the things they need to live. Experiment with different part-time jobs, explore. You may find something far more rewarding than engineering.
Or you might find a different aspect of engineering. Even if you don't, and you stay with engineering, your life will be richer for all the new experiences you've explored.

You have the good fortune to have parents who expect and are prepared to finance a college education. Please, do not spend the money and time on an education that isn't something that you are going to enjoy. Admitting that you aren't interested in planes, but you want to work for Boeing because they always pay well for engineers..... it's a limited view of your future. Open your eyes, widen your horizon. Even if you don't change your mind and still go into engineering, you'll do it with a broader background and you'll know you made the right choice. Because you realized there were choices. Good luck in high school and college. The next few years may be the most "changeable" in your life. Here's to making good, informed decisions!
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What you have become is the price you paid to get what you used to want.
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