Thanks, needless to say I am not in the market anymore. I do feel shattered, and I only have myself to blame for it. The situation in itself was not the best, and I made a stupid mistake and now I am reaping the benefits (ha). The horse was supposed to be as broke as broke can be, I mean the first time I rode it, I had to nudge it several times to keep it at a walk, so honestly I thought I'd be okay.
I think what really hit it home was that yesterday my trainer called me, and blamed me for what happened. When it comes to her, I am very impressionable, so now I feel even worse. She's very abrasive and treats all of her relationships like business relationships. She has zero empathy for timid riders, or people who show the least bit of 'fear' when it comes to horses. I suppose that she thinks everyone should be like her, gutsy and tough.
My plan of action now is to let my body completely heal 6 wks - 6 mos, it makes no difference. Tomorrow I am hoping to find out how long I'll be in the boot. Then, I am on the look out for a completely different barn all together. When I first started riding at this barn, it was a beginners barn, but now that the owner has gone, and the barn manager (who is also my trainer) is running the show, it's just chaotic. I think the barn manager is too focused on getting money into her barn vs. safety, or nurturing her students..
And, finally before I get back up on another horse, I was thinking about taking some sessions with a place near here that does equine assisted coaching outta the barn
. Then maybe I'll have enough courage to start with lessons all over again; starting from the ground up.
At this point, I have no desire to own, or even to ride.