Drawing up contracts mean spit with stepchildren. Gee, wonder how everyone will feel about you when you sell the horse at the auction when the grown up loser/user doesn't fulfill his end? He is not a boy, he is a man, treat him as such. Sorry but I am going to tell you like it is, your stepson is using his father, not horribly, but he is. You now have the time to work with own horses after accommodating the stepkids which they ignored (kinda sounding like spoilt much to me?), and having some couple time as well, now the stepson is wanting to take that away with a whim of being a horse trainer on some nag. Oh yeah, your old man is game for that again. Tell your husband in private your feelings, if he continues to allow the stepson to use him & puts your relationship second, guess you either allow it or not, your choice. Like a contract will solve your problems, sure.
Totally agree. DH is on same page with me NOW, but it took me revisiting the issue with him for about 30 minutes (I was ready) before he offered to talk to SS and can the deal.
I was upset at first that he gave the SS a little "out" to even possibly having the horse on the property, so of course I jump in with my laundry list putting "conditions" on that little "out"...and then, after thinking about it more, got mad.
I'm ok, I honestly didn't know how DH was going to react when I told him that I wanted to renege on agreement with SS (mine, not his). His agreement was open ended, wanted to see commitment, mine was a little more specific (thought that by stalling and putting conditions on, he wouldn't follow through and it would be a non-issue) but after thinking longer, I thought that was a little lame/dishonest of me (emotionally), just tell him the truth, don't really want the horse and attendant issues.
I don't like reneging on deals, and I feel badly about that, but we were also blindsided (not much time to think it through). DH and I made a deal on that too, next time one of the kids blindsides us, we delay answering until we've slept on it, maybe even a few days!
BTW: It's 4:00 p.m. On father's day and SS hasn't even called Dad or stopped by. DH has always been a good father, and is by nature, a kind, generous person; although hungry for his kid's approval! Yeah, he threw me under the bus a few times for it...so taking this step means progress.
Yeah I hear yeah. I know.