A not-so-smooth ownership transition - The Horse Forum

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post #1 of 108 Old 05-28-2012, 09:01 AM Thread Starter
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A not-so-smooth ownership transition

I just bought a new mare, Cece. Cee will be the sixth horse I have bought in my lifetime. Every other horse the ownership transition went so smooth - they obviously cared about where the horses were going, asked me questions about my housing situation etc, but then once they were mine that was pretty much it. I keep in touch with the breeder I got my miniatures from but it's a very friendly relationship.

This new girl... oh geez. When we decided that yes, this was the horse to buy, we didn't have our own trailer and so needed to arrange transportation - they were ok with waiting a few weeks while we figured something out. Apparently. Then I started getting emails. At first, she said if Cece didn't work out, that I could return her minus the original deposit I had left. Then (only a day or two later) suddenly it was a final sale. Oh, and now, if I don't pick her up by a certain date they plan to re-list her. And here are a hundred links to web sites about basic horse care. (Um... I KNOW what thrush is. I KNOW it's important to keep up regular farrier care.)

At first I tried to be very polite. She had originally asked if she could come and visit Cece once after she was home (she is currently at a trainer's, she'll be coming home this weekend). Since she had asked before we officially sealed the deal, I feel I should honor the request even though it's not in any paperwork.

But then she sent me this HORRIBLE email yesterday, implying that I have no clue what I'm doing and basically I'm an idiot for taking the horse to a "Trainer" and how "Trainer" is a bad word to use and how every time you interact with your horse it's a "training" experience. Um sure, yeah, but the horse was completely green and I would rather have a professional (whom I have used before and trust completely) teach her the basics instead of my fumbling around. She sent me eight (EIGHT!!!) links to youtube videos of horses being loaded into trailers 'wrong' (being whipped, winched, terrified and beaten) and told me that when we had come to pick her up, she had gotten the distinct impression that it was all about speed and not the well-being of the horse (I had specifically told her we were NOT in a hurry and I wanted Cece loaded SAFELY, not QUICKLY). It was completely condescending and insulting.

I don't owe this girl any money and there was no 'repossession' type clause in the deal where she could take her back if she finds me 'unfit.' I really want to email her back and cancel the visit, and generally tell her off. I know she cares deeply about the horse's well being, and that's fine, but if she really thinks I'm capable of abusing her than she never should have sold me the horse in the first place. I tried being patient with her but that last email crossed a line, big time.

Anyway... I guess I'm just asking if a lot of you have gone through this type of thing before, and if you have any advice.
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post #2 of 108 Old 05-28-2012, 09:04 AM
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Deep six this nutball.

Tell her that since she obviously thinks you're clueless and a terrible horse owner, you rescind your original offer to let her see the horse. Then lose her number and e-mail addy.

You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!
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post #3 of 108 Old 05-28-2012, 09:08 AM
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Either get your money back........Or go get your horse immediately.

This nutcase isn't worth your time.
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him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too."

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post #4 of 108 Old 05-28-2012, 09:08 AM
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I completely agree with SR.

Life is like a camera. Focus on what's important, Capture the good times, Develop from the negatives and if things don't work out, Take another shot.
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post #5 of 108 Old 05-28-2012, 09:09 AM
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Umm sort of... not as intensely but Sky's previous owner wants constant updates.. I've slowly started to respond less.. but she wants to visit him (which I'm nervous about)

I wish I knew what to tell you.. but I'm in the same pickle myself. I've found nodding my head and keeping answers short and sweet helps a lot.

:/ Apologies if I sound like a brat, his previous owner and I are friends.. but we don't agree on a lot of things so it can get a bit tense.

"Strength is the ability to use a muscle without tension"
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post #6 of 108 Old 05-28-2012, 09:13 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CLaPorte432 View Post
Either get your money back........Or go get your horse immediately.

This nutcase isn't worth your time.
Sorry - she's not there anymore. She's not home yet, but she is at a trainer's right now and she'll be coming home this weekend.

(Those couple weeks while she WAS still there were quite the nail-biter, and that was BEFORE that last email!!!)
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post #7 of 108 Old 05-28-2012, 09:19 AM
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Well, don't let her go back to the lady's property. On the last day of training, take her directly to your house or your boarding barn. No need to get the previous owner involved, especially if the horse is already paid in full (which I'm gathering that she is)
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him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too."

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post #8 of 108 Old 05-28-2012, 09:24 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CLaPorte432 View Post
Well, don't let her go back to the lady's property. On the last day of training, take her directly to your house or your boarding barn. No need to get the previous owner involved, especially if the horse is already paid in full (which I'm gathering that she is)
No worries - there is NO plan to take her back there. She's coming straight home from the trainer's. And yes, she's paid in full.

Essentially I'm just wondering if I'd be out of line to cancel that visit and cut off communication with this wacko. I understand it's rough to part with an animal you're emotionally attached to, and technically we HAD said that she could come and visit at least once. Plus she had asked that the lead rope used to load Cece could be returned. However at this point, I'd rather mail it to her.
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post #9 of 108 Old 05-28-2012, 09:26 AM
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Hmm.. idk I think keeping her out may spring up more trouble than you're already experiencing..... I went on holiday for a weekend with minimal internet. Come back and there's like 5 emails from my horse's previous owner freaking out over a supplement that he doesn't need.... it was a little o_O intense...

As soon as I replied that I was away and not ignoring her, she calmed down but omg... do not want to experience that in person!

Just be careful OP... :/

"Strength is the ability to use a muscle without tension"
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post #10 of 108 Old 05-28-2012, 09:27 AM
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Technically, SHE'S the one who forfeited her privilege to see the horse with all her rude and nasty calls and e-mails. So she has no one to blame but herself. You don't need to feel guilty or obligated to let her visit, OP.

I've had a crazy, previous owner stalker, so have absolutely no patience with people like that. Mine has no clue where the horse is, nor will she EVER know if I can help it.

You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!
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