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A not-so-smooth ownership transition

This is a discussion on A not-so-smooth ownership transition within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

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        05-28-2012, 10:47 AM
      #21
    Cat
    Green Broke
    Personally I would not want this person knowing where I lived. When people start ranting in e-mails like that over things that shouldn't even be issues I would hate for them to come out and decide something wasn't to their standard and try to take the horse back when I wasn't home or something. Wouldn't be the first time horse theft has happened. BTW - did you get a bill of sale or registration papers to prove you have ownership?

    If your husband feels strongly that she needs to come see the horse - is there anyway that could happen at the trainers instead of your place? Have you, your trainer, and husband present - more witnesses if she decides to cause a scene and then she won't know your actual home location either.
         
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        05-28-2012, 10:55 AM
      #22
    Started
    If you feel strongly about letting her visit, Could you trailer the horse to a riding arena near by? I would not want her knowing where I lived.

    When you sell a horse you loose control of its future. Trying to keep control of an animal that you no longer own is controlling, bordering on obsessive.

    You don't owe her anything. She will add nothing but stress to your life that is unnessesary.

    I have never visited, or insisted on keeping contact with any horse I have ever sold. The odd horse I've bought I sent a few updates, but I would never have an old owner visit.
         
        05-28-2012, 11:08 AM
      #23
    Weanling
    Thanks for all the replies. Kevin (my husband) is of that old-West type "If I don't have my word I don't have anything" type mindset, which generally I think is awesome, but in this case not so much.

    She's only at the trainer's for the remainder of this week but I might see if I can arrange that instead... I really don't want her coming here. I have a feeling she would see that as an open invitation to drop by any time, and worst case scenario, that she would feel justified in showing up with a trailer and taking the horse back if she doesn't approve of my facilities. Yes, we do have a bill of sale, and so yes, I'm sure legally we could get the horse back. I just don't want to deal with that kind of... manure.
    Cat, natisha and SpiritLifter like this.
         
        05-28-2012, 11:16 AM
      #24
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Failbhe    
    "If I don't have my word I don't have anything"
    Very good mindset to have!! I like it!!
         
        05-28-2012, 11:19 AM
      #25
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Failbhe    
    Thanks for all the replies. Kevin (my husband) is of that old-West type "If I don't have my word I don't have anything" type mindset, which generally I think is awesome, but in this case not so much.

    She's only at the trainer's for the remainder of this week but I might see if I can arrange that instead... I really don't want her coming here. I have a feeling she would see that as an open invitation to drop by any time, and worst case scenario, that she would feel justified in showing up with a trailer and taking the horse back if she doesn't approve of my facilities. Yes, we do have a bill of sale, and so yes, I'm sure legally we could get the horse back. I just don't want to deal with that kind of... manure.
    Good plan. Let her visit at the trainer's & tell her you've decided to board her there for a while. If she was so concerned about your place she would have checked it out before she sold you the horse.
    After the visit drop all contact.

    Who gets upset about a green horse getting trained?
    Cat, Golden Horse, boots and 1 others like this.
         
        05-28-2012, 11:21 AM
      #26
    Trained
    I feel the same way about credibility. Shoot, I quit my last job over it. However-this lady has (IMO) nullified the whole agreement. I will keep my word to the inth degree-unless someone is a whack job. Then all bets are off.
         
        05-28-2012, 11:23 AM
      #27
    Green Broke
    I would probably arrange to have her visit at the trainers too. I'd be scared to let a nutcase like that know where the horse was housed as it sounds like she might freak out one day and decide she doesn't like the way you are caring for the horse and just take her.... That is what comes to mind when I think of her visiting your place.

    You have bill of sale, transfer papers, she's paid in full, she's YOURS not hers and although she loves this horse (obviously) she needs to respect that it is no longer her horse, it is your horse. I would probably let her know that if she wants to visit, she needs to respect certain boundaries or else you will need to cut ties with her completely.

    Cinny's previous owner was a little worried, but not like that. She has friended me on Facebook and that is pretty much how she gets her updates. She doesn't contact me, call me, email me, nothing...although we periodically see each other at clinics. Actually, I'm wrong...she did contact me once to show off pictures of Cinny's newborn niece (They bred Cin's brother). One of her friends boards at my stable, and I'm sure she clues her in too... but this person doesn't bother me by any means and it's quite friendly.
         
        05-28-2012, 11:25 AM
      #28
    Weanling
    Oh I so agree wit the guys who feel she forfeited her rights when she became abusive and controlling. She smells like T-R-O-U-B-L-E! If you have to have her come, either because of your wonderfully ethical husband, or because she knows or can find out your address, set firm parameters about the visit. You do not want this puppy showing up unexpectedly or to feel that YOU have now violated the agreement, therefore she can do as she pleases.

    I think I would let her know, in writing, that her visit is limited to one half hour, or whatever, and that it is a social visit between her and the horse, that you are not looking for any criticisms or suggestions from her. I would tell her, using quotes from her e-mails, that you found her past remarks offensive, and that any such remarks will terminate the visit.

    Finally, if there is any way to arrange the visit to take place at the trainers, even if it means paying for an additional week of training, I would do so, with you being there. You might even say that you are contemplating boarding her there on a permanent basis, so that she HAS to visit there. I know, I know. That darned ethical husband of yours! But still, I would work along those lines, if I could.
         
        05-28-2012, 11:29 AM
      #29
    Green Broke
    Has anyone thought about her going to the trainers to get the horse, if for some reason "a spirit comes to her in the night, telling her to do it"? If you are going to use the trainers place to set up this "visit", get the horse out of there right afterward!!!
    Seems this woman has a passing thought or reads something and then "that's the way it is" WOW!
         
        05-28-2012, 11:52 AM
      #30
    Weanling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by nvr2many    
    Has anyone thought about her going to the trainers to get the horse, if for some reason "a spirit comes to her in the night, telling her to do it"? If you are going to use the trainers place to set up this "visit", get the horse out of there right afterward!!!
    Seems this woman has a passing thought or reads something and then "that's the way it is" WOW!
    John (my trainer) locks the barn and he knows that Cece is MINE and would absolutely never let anyone else take her or even touch her. At least while she is there, there is no worry of this girl flipping out and trying to take her.

    Another problem with her - she seems to skim over my emails (and she is very hard to get a hold of by phone) and pick and choose what she's going to reply to. I had sent a reply telling her I was offended, that this is not a lease or boarding situation and Cece is MY horse, and I found her implications that I don't know what I'm doing and I don't have Cece's well-being in mind hurtful. She replied with "I'm sorry it was hurtful and what is John's email address, phone number and web site so I can verify his training methods" -- I have not replied.
         

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