Nut Up or Shut Up? - The Horse Forum

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post #1 of 13 Old 05-20-2012, 07:09 PM Thread Starter
Weanling
 
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Nut Up or Shut Up?

When is it appropriate?- When is it not?

Situation: Being a confident rider- I tend to bulldoze anybody who gets emotionally distressed with their horse. I try to be understanding, honestly, I do. But when can I finally say "Nut Up or Shut Up" meaning quit *****-footing around and take control of your steed.

Im actually quite passive about my feelings toward this situation- But when one can't find any reason to love their truely amazing horse- Picks apart the horse's flaws, of which there are very few, So what he's buddy sour, Oh he doesnt like clippers, he may need 100pds of groceries (ALL FIXABLE W/ TIME)- And the rider is ultamatley afraid of their horse- What can I do?
I've tried the "help" approach- Worked while the riders feet were on the ground, but when the pep talk was applied- It crumpled like a peice of paper- Even tried helping the rider visualize the "goal", so to speak, on the days we the rider would have given up-

In my head I can't help but to figuratively smack the crap out of this girl- But I know I wont say anything to "hurt" the riders "feelings" because they live with me o.O

Have any advice?
And thank you for letting me rant. I feel like a bad person now for letting this out but its been bothering me-

The Truth Harsher Than One Would Think
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post #2 of 13 Old 05-20-2012, 07:11 PM
Showing
 
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One of the reasons I keep my horses at home, I don't want to see others mess with theirs. Frustrating.
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post #3 of 13 Old 05-20-2012, 07:13 PM Thread Starter
Weanling
 
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Blah- I want people to have horses because they are the healers in our life- But sometimes people arent meant for the horse world and should get a cat instead.

The Truth Harsher Than One Would Think
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post #4 of 13 Old 05-20-2012, 07:48 PM
Green Broke
 
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It depends - are you being asked for input or simply inserting yourself into the situation because you feel you know best?
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post #5 of 13 Old 05-20-2012, 07:59 PM
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It sounds to me like your 'help' could easily be taken the wrong way, and do the opposite of inspiring confidence in whoever you're trying to give it to. People are more perceptive than you might think, and seeing that you clearly don't respect their situation can easily make matters worse.
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post #6 of 13 Old 05-20-2012, 08:25 PM Thread Starter
Weanling
 
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*I do respect their situation
I have been asked to help- In a form of inspired confidence- I physically can't make somebody do something- In this case it, involves an animal, who is suffering because of this rider.

The Truth Harsher Than One Would Think
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post #7 of 13 Old 05-20-2012, 09:39 PM
Trained
 
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My advice is give less advice. Give it ONLY when asked, and once given, don't try to take ownership of the problem - just let it go. You did your bit by giving your advice, and tat's all you can do.

Sometimes people just want to complain and don't really want help.
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post #8 of 13 Old 07-04-2012, 03:46 PM
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You say the horse is suffering...
I find this an interesting choice in words. Is the person beating the horse? Not feeding it? Not offering medical care?

Sometimes, people get discouraged. Sometimes, their past experiences prevent them from moving forward with confidence.

Sometimes it's better to stay silent and let them figure it out, rather than be angry, critical, or judgmental.

We drink to our youth, to the days come and gone; for the age of oppression is now nearly done.
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post #9 of 13 Old 07-04-2012, 04:43 PM
Yearling
 
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I say the solution is to rant to anonymous third parties on the web, and get it out of your system that way. I completely understand the urge to just smack someone upside the head, all the while knowing that this is not at all acceptable behavior. You can't fix the issue for the other horse, you already know that, so it might just be the thing to vent once in a while like this.
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post #10 of 13 Old 07-04-2012, 11:22 PM
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Unfortunately people think once you train a horse, the work is done. Unfortunately not all horses are wired that way, and it can too challenging for someone that was just 'looking to ride.'

Most when they get a horse don't realize the work you put into it. Ground work, handling, feeding, fixing holes that arise, pasture management, reinforcing your leadership, riding so you don't create habits, etc.

Sometimes the best thing to do is say "My horse and I have worked hard to keep our working-relationship strong. It hasn't been easy but I deal with problems as they arise"

Just give them something to ponder over. If they want specific help, then they need to ask for it. If not, leave them alone. Seem helpful but not spewing information.

"Strength is the ability to use a muscle without tension"
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