Nut Up or Shut Up?

       The Horse Forum > Keeping and Caring for Horses > Horse Talk

Nut Up or Shut Up?

This is a discussion on Nut Up or Shut Up? within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

Like Tree13Likes

LinkBack Thread Tools
    05-20-2012, 08:09 PM
Nut Up or Shut Up?

When is it appropriate?- When is it not?

Situation: Being a confident rider- I tend to bulldoze anybody who gets emotionally distressed with their horse. I try to be understanding, honestly, I do. But when can I finally say "Nut Up or Shut Up" meaning quit *****-footing around and take control of your steed.

Im actually quite passive about my feelings toward this situation- But when one can't find any reason to love their truely amazing horse- Picks apart the horse's flaws, of which there are very few, So what he's buddy sour, Oh he doesnt like clippers, he may need 100pds of groceries (ALL FIXABLE W/ TIME)- And the rider is ultamatley afraid of their horse- What can I do?
I've tried the "help" approach- Worked while the riders feet were on the ground, but when the pep talk was applied- It crumpled like a peice of paper- Even tried helping the rider visualize the "goal", so to speak, on the days we the rider would have given up-

In my head I can't help but to figuratively smack the crap out of this girl- But I know I wont say anything to "hurt" the riders "feelings" because they live with me o.O

Have any advice?
And thank you for letting me rant. I feel like a bad person now for letting this out but its been bothering me-
Sponsored Links
    05-20-2012, 08:11 PM
One of the reasons I keep my horses at home, I don't want to see others mess with theirs. Frustrating.
CLaPorte432 and Horsealot like this.
    05-20-2012, 08:13 PM
Blah- I want people to have horses because they are the healers in our life- But sometimes people arent meant for the horse world and should get a cat instead.
    05-20-2012, 08:48 PM
Green Broke
It depends - are you being asked for input or simply inserting yourself into the situation because you feel you know best?
Skyseternalangel likes this.
    05-20-2012, 08:59 PM
It sounds to me like your 'help' could easily be taken the wrong way, and do the opposite of inspiring confidence in whoever you're trying to give it to. People are more perceptive than you might think, and seeing that you clearly don't respect their situation can easily make matters worse.
    05-20-2012, 09:25 PM
*I do respect their situation
I have been asked to help- In a form of inspired confidence- I physically can't make somebody do something- In this case it, involves an animal, who is suffering because of this rider.
    05-20-2012, 10:39 PM
My advice is give less advice. Give it ONLY when asked, and once given, don't try to take ownership of the problem - just let it go. You did your bit by giving your advice, and tat's all you can do.

Sometimes people just want to complain and don't really want help.
    07-04-2012, 04:46 PM
You say the horse is suffering...
I find this an interesting choice in words. Is the person beating the horse? Not feeding it? Not offering medical care?

Sometimes, people get discouraged. Sometimes, their past experiences prevent them from moving forward with confidence.

Sometimes it's better to stay silent and let them figure it out, rather than be angry, critical, or judgmental.
    07-04-2012, 05:43 PM
I say the solution is to rant to anonymous third parties on the web, and get it out of your system that way. I completely understand the urge to just smack someone upside the head, all the while knowing that this is not at all acceptable behavior. You can't fix the issue for the other horse, you already know that, so it might just be the thing to vent once in a while like this.
KarrotKreek likes this.
    07-05-2012, 12:22 AM
Unfortunately people think once you train a horse, the work is done. Unfortunately not all horses are wired that way, and it can too challenging for someone that was just 'looking to ride.'

Most when they get a horse don't realize the work you put into it. Ground work, handling, feeding, fixing holes that arise, pasture management, reinforcing your leadership, riding so you don't create habits, etc.

Sometimes the best thing to do is say "My horse and I have worked hard to keep our working-relationship strong. It hasn't been easy but I deal with problems as they arise"

Just give them something to ponder over. If they want specific help, then they need to ask for it. If not, leave them alone. Seem helpful but not spewing information.

Quick Reply
Please help keep the Horse Forum enjoyable by reporting rude posts.

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Should I just shut up? mystikal222 Horse Training 11 04-20-2011 12:43 AM
Just pay the board, and shut up. Oxer Barn Maintenance 108 01-17-2011 12:09 AM
Don't shut me down stormyweather101 English Riding 30 04-17-2010 01:21 AM
how do you get a cat to shut up? lol Spirithorse Other Pets 6 02-12-2009 12:44 PM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:18 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0