we finally got our hands on the baby. i used some grain to catch mom, put a rope on her, looped the rope around a post with about 2 feet of leeway for mom, and fed her while my husband and daughter caught baby. we were able to have about a ten minute session with baby without mother and baby being stressed. mom nickered a couple of times, but that was it. she did not try to charge anyone. and she did not pin her ears. no doubt the grain kept her distracted, but i believe it was a success. we were ecstatic to finally start getting baby used to us. we will continue this way for a few days. hopefully we will be able to extend the time slowly so as not to stress anyone out or get anyone hurt. thanks again all for the advice.