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problems with the in-laws & son's riding

This is a discussion on problems with the in-laws & son's riding within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

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        12-21-2013, 03:16 PM
      #11
    Yearling
    My hubby is wonderul & supporting for both myself & our son, but has never been able to stand up to his father. In fact, I am the ONLY person that refuses to bow down & let him get his way. Unfortunatly, I have already had to put huge restrictions on time with grandparents because they refuse to respect our parenting choices. Untill my son gets his Christmas present, he has to ride western at home, because that's all I have. My son knows he doesnt like it & I respect that. I tell him all the time that he is a better rider than me, because I know I rely on my western saddle, he doesn't. Hubby also is good at bolstering our son's confidence. Told him that as good as he's getting, he's going to have to start giving Momma lessons.
         
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        12-21-2013, 03:25 PM
      #12
    Started
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by littrella    
    My hubby is wonderul & supporting for both myself & our son, but has never been able to stand up to his father. In fact, I am the ONLY person that refuses to bow down & let him get his way. Unfortunatly, I have already had to put huge restrictions on time with grandparents because they refuse to respect our parenting choices. Untill my son gets his Christmas present, he has to ride western at home, because that's all I have. My son knows he doesnt like it & I respect that. I tell him all the time that he is a better rider than me, because I know I rely on my western saddle, he doesn't. Hubby also is good at bolstering our son's confidence. Told him that as good as he's getting, he's going to have to start giving Momma lessons.
    It's very unfortunate that you have to put these restrictions. Even more unfortunate is that if Grandpa doesn't stop it then you'll probably have to restrict it even more. It's a tough situation that you're in- grandparents are a huge part of a child's life, but not having them in their lives is better than having them belittle your son. It's even worse since you're basically having to fight your husband's battles...
    Dustbunny likes this.
         
        12-21-2013, 03:43 PM
      #13
    Super Moderator
    I agree with showing him pictures - Google Aintree Grand National and ask if these jump jockeys are cissies?
    (Personally I think that are nearly as insane as Bull Riders)
    SamBadger likes this.
         
        12-21-2013, 03:48 PM
      #14
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Foxhunter    
    I agree with showing him pictures - Google Aintree Grand National and ask if these jump jockeys are cissies?
    (Personally I think that are nearly as insane as Bull Riders)
    Holy Crap!!!! That is insane!
         
        12-21-2013, 04:01 PM
      #15
    Weanling
    You can also search youtube for male eventers going cross country, such as William Fox Pitt or Michael Jung, but you indicated that your son preferred H/J.
    littrella and SamBadger like this.
         
        12-21-2013, 04:12 PM
      #16
    Trained
    You can show your FIL hundreds of photos and videos. I can almost assure you it wont change his mind.
    OP you and your husband need to set boundaries with your FIL and strictly enforce them.
    I would not allow my son unsupervised visits and would tell your FIL that if and when he starting his verbal abuse you or your husband would leave with your son. He will either get the message or he will not see his grandson.
    Then you will find out which is more important to him. Spouting nonsense or his grandson. Shalom
         
        12-21-2013, 08:48 PM
      #17
    Started
    Oh please, if he wanted to skip through the barn gifting all the pretty ponies with clover flowers and calling them sweeties and muffins and princesses, who the crap cares.

    I think he definitely SHOULD try western. Eventually. And Saddleseat. And reining. And trail riding. And training. And everything else! Eventually. He is nine for crying out loud. He has PLENTY of time.
    Posted via Mobile Device
    dbarabians and ALegUp like this.
         
        12-21-2013, 09:36 PM
      #18
    Showing
    I don't think this lad SHOULD try anything because someone else thinks he should. He's a boy and he has focused on jumping right now. One day he may decide another horse sport looks interesting and give it a try. I agree with dbarabians - hundred percent.
         
        12-21-2013, 09:57 PM
      #19
    Foal
    OP your son is fabulously brave and I'm sure very talented! If I have children someday I would hope they would take an interest in horses the way your little one has. I agree that you can't let his grandpa make him feel ashamed about his brave, athletic, and incredibly complicated sport. It sounds like your in-laws are rude, pushy, and condescending all the time and it needs to be nipped in the bud. Show them this is YOUR life and YOUR child and they can very well butt out if they refuse to support him, no matter what he wants to do. Don't let them ruin this special activity that will help your son grow into a confident, physically fit, and mentally engaged young man. It takes a lot to be a jumper!
    Posted via Mobile Device
    littrella likes this.
         
        12-21-2013, 10:51 PM
      #20
    Yearling
    He does ride western at home, at least till he get his english saddle on Christmas day. Our instructor has given him the option of switching to western. He doesn't want to switch. He likes doing hunter/jumper. I could care less how he rides as long as HE enjoys it.
         

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