It sounds like you are embarrassing yourself when there isn't a reason to! Honey you're new at this, and you need to cut yourself some slack. Don't feel foolish about asking advice.. but don't always take what is said to heart. Someone said some REALLY uncalled for things about my horse in the beginning... and it upset me until I talked to other experienced horsemen (I'm new at this too.. have owned him only 3 years in November!) and they weren't nearly as negative.
Hugs! Enjoy your horse :) You've got this girly.. don't let anyone tell you otherwise :)
"Strength is the ability to use a muscle without tension"