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Really need some support right now..

2K views 11 replies 10 participants last post by  natisha 
#1 ·
So about a year ago an older boarder left my barn that was VERY close to my BO and she did not leave on good terms. She left and took three other boarders and all of their horses while the BO was in another state at a show with students. The entire time they've been gone the close friend has been sending rude messages to BO, threats, telling lies to the property owner (property switched hands because of divorce, new PO only interested in money) and has successfully gotten us evicted, were packing up the barns and planning on leaving (the barn that my BO has planned for childhood, her dream barn) and they're buying the place and moving their horses in. On Thursday they came and took the horses that belonged to PO (the paint pony that I bought and in an unlikely turn of events had to give back) and I'm devastated. Now my mother is not speaking to me because I don't want to go to Tennessee with her to spend Christmas with her family so I can stay here and help move the barn and my horse. And I don't want to go to my dads house because he invited his friend and her two (OBNOXIOUS) young kids to live IN MY HOUSE. And she brought 25 alpacas and is making my dad pay for EVERYTHING so he's strapped for cash and is being a jerk because he's stressed. My sisters getting into all sorts of trouble at school and with friends and I just want my pony back :'( they said I could buy her back for 2k but my dad said that the next chuck of money he spends will be on my sister for her braces.

Sorry for the length , I just need some help.
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#2 ·
That's quiet a lot of bad to happen all at once. The whole thing sounds very complicated. See if there would be a way that you could buy your pony on a payment plan. Some nicer owners can be willing to do this. As for the family issues, I never try to give advice there. Everyone has their priorities. Try explaining to your mom that you can come out later, as for your dad that's harder. My advice is to try to find some good ink the whole mess. Sorry to hear about your bad luck. Hope it works out
 
#3 ·
I don't really understand what all is going on..

The BO and old boarder conflict is between them... I don't know why or how it'd affect you?

When exactly is the "eviction" date? Also I'm confused about the whole "don't want to go to my dad's house" and what it has to do with living in your house?? That seems kind of passive aggressive not to spend Christmas with your father..

Also your sister's social troubles aren't yours either.

What exactly can you do for money? If your dad is already helping his friend pay for her alpaca herd and everything else, it isn't fair to expect him to be able to buy a pony back.. that you ended up not being able to afford before anyway.

So sorry if I'm being rude, because I honestly am not understanding where your problems start compared to others' problems..

BO conflicts are between the BO and others... the boarders pay for services. If those services aren't available then the boarders need to make arrangements to go elsewhere... it's a business.
 
#6 ·
We were able to afford the pony before his friend moved in. We can still afford it but he doesn't want to, understandable as it is his money and he already pays for my horse.
The BO and boarder conflict goes like this: Boarder introduced me to the barn, I took lessons etc for years and about a year ago Boarder started to become unsatisfied with the barn and decided to rally as many boarders as she could and they all left while BO was away at a show (with the child of Boarder). They took most of BO's income and Boarder continued to harass myself (I was a minor), the BO and many other students. She has now gotten into contact with the PO and created a story that makes it seem as though the horses are starving/neglected. PO is a non horse person and is in Indiana so he granted Boarder (who moved to the property next door) the ability to come on the property and take horses which he owned but were being leased out etc. one of which was my pony that I TRADED for money towards another horse that costed more. They are asking 2k for the pony and will not let me speak to PO who actually OWNS the pony, therefore I do not trust that they will not just keep the money.
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#7 ·
Unless you own a horse you don't have control over it. It's not great - but it's how it is, the horse belongs to someone else. You chose to trade it and in doing so relinquished any claim of ownership. I often hear of people devastated about a horse being taken away or whatever, but it's simple, if you really want a horse then buy it, if you can't then don't get attached, it belongs to someone else.

I know it's hard but try not to take on people's problems. Like your sisters, or your fathers or your barn owners. If they need help then help if you can but don't get upset about it. Parents move on and live their own lives, it's hard growing up to find that you're not as important as you once were to your parents, they are doing their own thing. I don't know why it happened as it did, but the problems with the boarding business are your barn owners, she's the one who can fix her problems, not you. Help and care but don't let it effect you.

If your mother really wants you to go with her for Christmas I'd consider it, if you just go for one night it's not that much, you can help out later. I used to be anti- Christmas until I read something about how many Christmas's we have left. Like I myself in my early 20s might have fifty or sixty ones left, but maybe only twenty with my parents, only ten with my grandparents, or less five. Even if I have twenty more Christmases with the people I care about.. that's not many at all. What if I could only ever ride 20 more times? I'd really make the most of every ride. That's how I feel about Christmas, we get together with the people we care about but rarely just for the sake of it, with the idea of being together and valuing them.

I hate it when people say this to me, but just relax. It's not the end of the world. Take each step at a time, if you can take action do it, if you can't then stop worrying about it, there is nothing you can do anyway.
 
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