Relative Passed.... - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 13 Old 11-19-2013, 09:50 AM Thread Starter
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Relative Passed....

And in her will she left her three horses to me. She passed about a month ago and the will has just come to the surface. Now I can handle taking care of these horses but I don't know that I'm ready for them mentally. I just had to put my only horse, Reggie, to sleep a few days ago. None of my other family, except my sister and cousin, have experience with horses. These horses also have issues with just about everyone except my aunt (who was their owner) and me. So I can see why my aunt left them to me. She has a two geldings and a mare (who is in foal to an unknown stallion that jumped the pasture fence). The eldest horse, the mare whose name is Sugar, is 15 years old. The youngest, the gelding Rico, is seven years old. Should I take them on and try to move past losing Reggie? Or, should I board them somewhere until I'm more ready to have horses on my property?

My last option is selling them, they were my aunt's life and her children. She never had kids so they were her kids in a way. She had raise Rico after Rico's dam rejected him, which I'm sure let her experience motherhood. So I don't want to let my Aunt, a person who was like a second mother to me, down. I'm just stuck as to what I should do.
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post #2 of 13 Old 11-19-2013, 10:04 AM
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I think you need to follow your heart on this one. Tough decision for sure. Maybe you could think of it as something to do in memory of Reggie. What would he want you to do.
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post #3 of 13 Old 11-19-2013, 10:38 AM
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Can you afford to take on the horses? If you can, I would. They won't replace Reggie - no horse can. However, they're in need of a person and you're in need of a horse so I'd give it a go. You will always love Reggie and having a new horse (or horses as it were) doesn't erase that.
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post #4 of 13 Old 11-19-2013, 10:41 AM Thread Starter
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I can afford it. I have the land, time and money to care for them all. I just don't want to screw up with the whole bonding process because of my grief for Reggie. I've also never had a mare in foal before, let alone a foal.
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post #5 of 13 Old 11-19-2013, 11:10 AM
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What has become of the mare you bought at auction for $300 the other day?
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post #6 of 13 Old 11-19-2013, 11:21 AM
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I'm sorry to hear of your recent losses. I also struggled to get past the loss of a special horse. I didn't think I would be able to et over him and give a new horse what they deserved. So I went horseless for two years. On one hand I think I needed the time but on the other hand I wish I had gotten a new horse sooner. I think it would have helped heal the grief if I had been able to put my energy into a horse.

Maybe these horses are coming to you at this time for a reason. I wouldn't ignore the possibility that you were ment to help eachother. It's really hard to take on three (soon to be four) horses. But if you have the resources you can give it a try and if you need to come up with a different plan later.
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post #7 of 13 Old 11-19-2013, 11:24 AM Thread Starter
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I wound up giving up and sending her to my cousin's wife's parents. They work well with horses who have issues. She kept get out of the pasture, out of the stall (even though I switched the latches) and her temperament kept getting worse. I tried my best to follow some of the things people told me. But she kept her distant but two days before I sent her away she began rushing the fence, ears pinned and trying to bit me. When she tore a hole in my shirt I realized that she was way over my skill level, she needed someone better then me.

Last edited by MarchingOn; 11-19-2013 at 11:27 AM.
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post #8 of 13 Old 11-19-2013, 11:40 AM
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I would take them. I'm one of those people though that think everything happens for a reason. They won't replace Reggie but they just lost their owner and you've lost a horse, maybe it'll help you heal.
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post #9 of 13 Old 11-19-2013, 01:34 PM
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You say all three horses have "issues" with people. What do you mean by this? It confuses me that you gave away your new horse because it had "issues" that you did not feel you had the expertise to cope with, just days after it arrived. Now you are contemplating taking on a small herd that have behavioural problems apparently so bad nobody else is able to deal with but you.

If I was in your position and was confident that I could safely manage the horses, I would take them since it was my Aunt's wish. "Bonding" is not something that would concern me at this time. The welfare of the horses comes first, my emotions come second.

If you should decide not to keep them, you will have a hard time selling horses that are difficult to handle. Can your cousin's wife's parents help you, since you trusted them to sort out your recent purchase?

You only describe one of the two geldings. Would either of them be suitable for your sister, since she is currently in the market for a new horse?
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post #10 of 13 Old 11-19-2013, 02:20 PM
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I would take them, if you can handle it physically & financially. (Did the relative leave money for their care, too?) My Ellie died a couple of months ago, and I really thought I didn't want to get another horse any time soon. But my friend insisted - and worse, I wound up with one who is almost her identical twin - and I think it's better.
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