Respecting our elders. - Page 3
 
 

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Respecting our elders.

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  • Respect our elders lines for kids
  • Baby boomers spoiled

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    02-21-2012, 02:51 PM
  #21
Trained
I agree 1,000%. It's also sad how teachers hands are tied because they are AFRAID to get after unruly kids.
Our local public schools are notorious for having bad kids. Several people I know have pulled theirs out because of bullying etc. We send our kid to a very small private school that still uses corporal punishment. This school is amazing and uses the toughest education program in the US and there are 6 kids per teacher. Still some of the kids are having to sit on benches during recess because they have been acting so badly and aren't doing their work. They have every opportunity to do good, it's just a shame their parents do nothing with them. My kid gets rave praise and they spoil her to death because she's so good. BUT, that's because she'll have to face our wrath if she gets out of line.

The other day we went out to eat and a little girl tried to run off from her mom and almost made it out the door. That mom hauled the kid back in and tanned her hide in front of everyone! The manager gave her a bad look but I told her how great she was and that I'd have done the same. I support every mom/dad I see getting after their kid. (she wasn't beating her, just a small spanking)
"Sadly" I'm no longer allowed to take care of my spoiled brat nephew because the family thinks I'm too "mean" to him. Thing is I treat him like he's my own when I have him and the terror goes home and blows it all out of context. Now back in the day if I treated MY aunt the same way... She would have beat me and then my mom would have gotten a turn! But in today's world... I'm just evil.

I just don't get how parents can let their kids get away with what they do now. Especially around horses? If I heard my kid backtalk an instructor I'd haul her off the horse myself! I wondered about teaching my kid to ride and if she would listen to me... I put the fear of God into her and she knows what I say goes and that it's for her safety.
     
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    02-21-2012, 02:52 PM
  #22
Yearling
The disrespect is a serious concern, but it goes beyond just mannerisms and behavior.

We have become a "casual" society. In every aspect of our lives.

I'm 46 and while I don't remember the good old days of the 40s and 50s, I do remember Leave it to Beaver and other prime time shows of those decades.

I call it societal death by casualness followed in close second with lazy.

As a society, we wear pajamas to the mall, grocery store, movies, dinner, and even church.

Listen as people walk by. More and more people scuff their feet when they walk instead of picking their feet up.

Dining in restaurants: What used to be a "treat out" for most families has become a way of life.

What was meant to be a convenience and aid for emergencies has become the focus of our attention. This weekend, my stepdaughter's Girl Scout troop sold cookies outside a drug store. 10 and 12 year old girls were playing on iPhones and other smart phones and each blaring their favorite songs. The other moms thought nothing of it. Why? Because they were just as guilty talking on their phones, texting, and surfing the web.

The result of this casualness in how we approach almost everything is also incredibly rude manners.

For several generations, we have become complacent about everything in our lives except our own material needs and self-absorption. It is only natural that our children would start mimicking this behavior at early ages of development.

If you disagree, then your parents raised you right and you probably are passing those values on to your children. But, I bet if you watch a rude child long enough you will find a rude parent nearby. Wearing their **** pajamas.
     
    02-21-2012, 02:56 PM
  #23
Trained
It helps sometimes to speak up. I talked to a young boy at Steak-n-Shake last Sunday. He was standing in the booth across the divider from me and throwing spitballs. I told me, "Kid, you throw another one at me and I'll throw them back at you. AND...sit down!" He did.
I expected a mushy mother to yell at me, but it didn't happen. Her son will slip and hit his head one of these times. I've heard stories of out-of-control children--mostly boys--being hurt. Even one story of a boy drowning in somebody else's swimming pool--the owners weren't home at the time.
DH's associate sends her children to a private school. They are K, 2nd and 3rd graders. The level of work is one year ahead of our local public schools. I used to teach MS--might again, when we get vouchers.
FlyGap likes this.
     
    02-21-2012, 03:00 PM
  #24
Yearling
Quote:
As a society, we wear pajamas to the mall, grocery store, movies, dinner, and even church.
I see people wear pajamas to school and it just confuses the heck out of me! Here are a bunch of people who think "looking good" is the number one thing and they're wearing pajamas to school? Maybe they think they look attractive...*rolls eyes*. It's probably just because they're lazy though. I'm lazy but even I can get dressed properly!
     
    02-21-2012, 03:01 PM
  #25
mls
Trained
Quote:
Originally Posted by AQHSam    
The result of this casualness in how we approach almost everything is also incredibly rude manners.

For several generations, we have become complacent about everything in our lives except our own material needs and self-absorption. It is only natural that our children would start mimicking this behavior at early ages of development.
I'm not sure about several generations - but it certainly is not just the youth of today. I am very uncomfortable at my office many times due to lack of manners! Covering your mouth when you cough, excusing yourself when you clear your throat - or cough into the phone, chewing with your mouth closed. Things that I thought were common sense manners!
     
    02-21-2012, 03:09 PM
  #26
Yearling
I think it should be respect others in general, but within reason if someone makes you feel like dirt or scared they don't deserve it no matter the age or experience.
     
    02-21-2012, 04:17 PM
  #27
Green Broke
I'm really glad this thread has picked up!

I agree, its in every day life- but that could go on forever. Don't even get me started on basic manners.

I do a Children With Additional Needs holiday every year- and I love it. We also take siblings along.
I was chastised by another member of staff for not allowing a child desert until she sat still, ate, with her mouth closed, and with her knife and fork. At 14yo, and a sibling of with no additional, behavioural needs etc. I was appalled!!
     
    02-21-2012, 05:04 PM
  #28
Foal
I don't have much exposure to younger children but just in the last week I have had a 19 year old lie to me, threaten me, bring illegal substances into my home and when I kicked him out he ran to mummy who called me a B"$ch and disowned me. This by the way, is my nephew and sis-in-law.

EVERY DAY I work with people who are just plain rude. One that speaks to me as though I am of no value to him or worthy to input into his work (He is a direct colleague and a junior one at that) and another man who just ignores me when I do speak to the point that he has walked off mid-discussion on several occasions! This by the way, is my 'Team Leader'. I'm not a nasty person, I've not said anything bad and I promise you I have not made anyone uncomfortable enough to walk off (I've had a few people ask what in the world is wrong there..)

At the same time I have a 15 year old neighbour that when my husband is away he will help me with groceries, cut my grass, wash my car, help me with the dogs and anything else. I never ask him, he just offers. He is from a low income and low education family and I sometimes wonder what I Would do without the help I get from him and his mum when hubby decides to wander off to war zones. He is a gentleman in the making.

Every day I wish I was a farmer because animals I can relate to.. these types of behaviours are no longer inherent in just bratty children but also in adults of any age!
     
    02-21-2012, 05:15 PM
  #29
Yearling
Quote:
Originally Posted by mls    
I'm not sure about several generations - but it certainly is not just the youth of today. I am very uncomfortable at my office many times due to lack of manners! Covering your mouth when you cough, excusing yourself when you clear your throat - or cough into the phone, chewing with your mouth closed. Things that I thought were common sense manners!
{Dragging soap box to center of forum.}

I've given this a lot of thought. I personally think WWII did more than we realize to today's society.

It was after WWII that mothers really started to work outside the home. While I wouldn't call them self-absorbed, they definitely were focusing more on their individual growth. But, it was the baby boomers, (oh, don't get me started on them! :O) who really started forging this new road.

It was the baby boomers that were into self-actualization and autonomy and breaking down barriers. They have laid the way to much of our diversity today within and outside the workplace. They changed higher education. I can't begin to extoll the numerous things they did to improve the lives for women, children, and minorities. But, while all these moms and dads were out conquering and bettering the world, they were absent from the home.

The Gen X babies (myself included) raised ourselves. We were the first generation that did not come home to fresh baked cookies afterschool. We were left to our own devices during summer vacation because we had the first generation of consistent dual income parents. Our baby boomer parents also spoiled us because 1) they could afford to and 2) they felt guilty.

The Gen X's grow up and became helicopter parents. We were so dissatisfied with our absent parents, we started the whole play date thing. Parents hanging out at playgrounds. Helmets when riding bikes. We were also experiencing a good round of economic upswing (remember, during the Billy the Kid days) we could also afford to do everything for our children. We went from spending no time with the kids to devoting every waking moment to our children. And we coddled them. We protected them. But in some ways, we also prevented them from learning common sense. We were afraid they would have low self-esteem so we created sports teams where all kids play regardless of skill.

Our kids were raised with a good healthy dose of instant gratification and "it's all about me."

Our children are now growing up and having babies and what did they learn from us? Restaurants are convenient and fast when your lifestyle is hectic.

Keep in mind, these are huge generalizations. And, oddly, my parents were not solid baby boomers, they are a few years older than the glut of the baby boom. I was probably the closest to Ozzie and Harriet a kid could have in the 70s.

But, I do think that our comments regarding behavior and manners are several generations in the making. The manners of today's youth are the most noticeable and in some ways frightening, but they didn't create the problem. The problem has been growing for some time.

At some point in history, when our mom's went to work, things like common sense, respect, and Miss Manners became old fashioned and fuddy duddy.

Many adults today don't know how to set a formal table (or realize there is such a thing!)

It's not just manners but also our values. The other night, at around 8pm (remember prime time TV? Nothing "naughty" during Prime Time?) I was watching a PG movie on Fx with the kids. PG. On commercial tv. The commerical that played? It was a K-Y Jelly commercial, but instead of His and Hers, it was two Hers. In a bed. Under the sheets with mussed hair.



Call me a prude. But, that was a little too out there for me at 8pm during a PG movie with an 8 yr old next me. It's not about whether I support gay relationships. I just think I can impart diversity and acceptance of others to this 8 yr old without seeing two chicks in bed together.

Personally, I'll go farther and say it is wrong for the other KY ad, with the him and her during that timeslot. But, it is less awkward with the him and her.

Phew. I now return you to your original posting.
Wallaby, FlyGap, kait18 and 2 others like this.
     
    02-21-2012, 05:28 PM
  #30
mls
Trained
Quote:
Originally Posted by AQHSam    
But, I do think that our comments regarding behavior and manners are several generations in the making. The manners of today's youth are the most noticeable and in some ways frightening, but they didn't create the problem. The problem has been growing for some time.

At some point in history, when our mom's went to work, things like common sense, respect, and Miss Manners became old fashioned and fuddy duddy.
My sisters were raised in the same house I was. Each has two girls. One sister has mannerly kids. Please, thank you, excuse me, etc. The other has girls I could about back hand some days. Sniffing instead of blowing their nose, butting in when someone else is talking, etc I asked sister two what the deal was - she said - you learn to pick your battles. IMHO - it shouldn't come to that. My house - my rules.

When our mom went to work we had very specific chores as soon as we stepped off the bus. We changed out of school clothes, did our chores, did our homework and THEN we could play. We asked permission to use the phone, to get a cookie or soda, etc. I never felt used or abused. Total respect.

I still respect those in authority. My gut flutters when I see a cop car. Teachers, the person in charge of the meeting, pastor, etc all deserve respect!
     

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