I had really bad confidence issues after a car accident in which I broke my back. My horse did a little tiny spook and a wee bolt (nothing like he does now, not even close!) and I was sobbing. It was horrid. On the ground, if a horse would spook near me, I would panic. I was honestly scared of my own horses.
Then I got Sam, kind, gentle Sam whom you can bounce balls off of and rub all over with just about anything. He spooks and nothing and falls asleep walking. He was the one to bring my confidence back, both on the ground and in the saddle. Of course, not without the help of my dad.
It was one of my first few times riding and Sam decided to test my skills and refuse to go. He maybe popped an inch of the ground, that freaked me out, bad. I wanted to get off, my dad literally YELLED at me that I'm going to STAY ON THAT HORSE AND MAKE HIM GO. -glare-
So I did...
I was still nervous the first few times but I just kept telling myself Ride him 'till he minds
. It kept MY mind off of how scared I was and let me focus at the task at hand.
I knew that if I would fall off, my dad would be there to help me back up. When my mouth would go dry and my heart would pound I'd tell myself to 'Suck it up and stop being such a sissy! It ain't like your ridin' a bronco!'
Now I am extremely confident, adore working with my horses both on the ground and in the saddle. Today I actually haltered, all by myself, my extremely spooky three year old who absolutely hates
being haltered and near ran me over at one point. I wasn't afraid, or nervous, I was calm, focused and relaxed. I even plan on saddle training him myself late summer. Something I never, ever, could have dared to do before.
SpringWolf, your confidence is still there, it's just gone into hiding. You gotta drag it...kicking and screaming...out of it's little dark cave and order it to stay put and quit trying to run off like that.
Sometimes it just takes a calm one, and old fart of a horse that won't trot if you begged on your life and plods along in a doze.