Okay everyone. I talked to the woman and she was totally sweet and understanding about it! I was so nervous to disappoint someone because I had made the offer, but honestly I don't even think she had sour feelings at all! :)
I appreciate the good advice from everyone and the reassurance to NOT get a horse I wasn't 100% on.
First time buyer jitters I guess. Thanks again ya'll.
Oh, and to those who thought I kept looking for a horse after I found the mare... That is false. Please do not assume things.
A very dear friend of mind showed me the gelding after I had made the offer on the mare. At the time, I thought the mare was it and great for me, and she REALLY is a great horse, Then I heard about this gelding from my friend and he just seemed to match me better, but I let it roll off my back at first and said I already found a horse. I would have never kept looking at horses after I made an offer because I figured the offer was a done deal, but my friend was persistent on checking out the gelding. I did it to humor her and found that HE was infact better for ME.
Long story short, the woman understood and accepted my apology with no hard feelings at all.
I can see that you talked to the first horse owner, and they are ok. I would have given them $100 to relist the horse for an extra month. To me, my word is worth something.
I feel that you made a commitment to the first horse, but horses are expensive, so go with the one that's best for you. But in this case, I would have paid the costs to relist to the horse for the time you were farting around with your decision, that's not the horse owners fault.
And man - I really wish I had some of the people on this thread as potential buyers. $100 or 10% of purchase price, etc for backing out on a non-deposited possible sale? I've had so many of those in my life (not all horse related) that I would be rich!
Congratulations on handling a difficult situation really well. At the end of the day you did the right thing by both the seller, the mare and yourself. Buying a horse isn't an easy thing, and you really do need to come home with a horse you are 100% happy with.