Scary Accident...Feeling Guilty
I went over to my trainer's today for a group trail ride. My mare was feeling a little excited this morning (I took the younger one), but, you know, she's not dangerous or aggressive about it, and I managed.
Some of the ladies were riding a couple of the trainer's horses. I was one of the first ones tacked and went out into the yard and mounted up. The trainer helped another woman get on her horse. This horse is supposedly usually dead quiet, the trainer's boyfriend who doesn't ride always rides this one, and the lady is older, and a bit heavier. Well, the two of us were riding around the yard, the group of guys was hanging around the wagon over by the arena, and both our (riding) horses were a little antsy.
I didn't expect my horse to stand still and I would be stupid to have expected a young, fresh horse in a relatively new place to stand still. I could feel her back humped, and though she is not usually a bucker, I kept her circling and bent so that she wouldn't be able to get any leverage and any nasty ideas.
I was busy focusing on circling, but I looked up just in time to see the other woman's horse give a little buck. Then the rider began yelling: "Whoa! WHOA!" and I think she panicked a bit. She pulled straight back on the bit and just kept shouting. The horse gave one or two more of the little bucks and though she didn't bolt, she was trotting/jigging quickly. I remember looking around desperately to see if anyone else was noticing, and then all I could do was just...sit there, and watch.
The horse headed for the barn door and though the woman bent over, it wasn't enough and she...cracked her head on the top of the door (didn't have a helmet) and then disappeared inside. At this point, I heard the guys over by the wagon swearing and people came running. The trainer's boyfriend called the ambulance. I put my mare in a stall and went to see what I could do...the woman was laying on the floor by the wall, but she was talking to the trainer and several other ladies and was conscious and seemed oriented. The ambulance arrived a short time later. My trainer said she came through into that part of the barn to see what the woman was yelling about, just as the horse charged through the door. The woman apparently hit her head on the cement wall again as she fell. Most people agreed that one of the multitudes of wasps flying around had stung the horse, because usually the mare is a saint. The woman was taken away to the hospital and the rest of us solemnly commenced our ride.
I was the only one who didn't share my account. I may have been the only one who saw fully what had happened in the yard, and I...feel guilty. I should have done something. I should have told her to circle the horse, or one-rein stop, or...something. Instead, I just sat there gaping and silent. I said to my trainer on the way home: "I feel like I should have done something", but didn't say just how much I saw. She replied: "Naw, it all happens so quick. There's nothing you could have done." I know there isn't, but...I still feel bad and like I could have somehow prevented it.
I've seen wrecks and accidents happen, but they still shake me every time. And something I chose not to dwell on too long was: it could have been me. That was not a young or crazy horse, something just set it off, and if it was a wasp, then it could have just as easily been my horse. Of course, I would have circled or done a ORS to get things back under control to the best of my abilities, but...I don't know.
I'm just feeling kind of disturbed and guilty and horrible. I couldn't have done anything, but at the same time I wonder: couldn't I have? I told my mom about it when I got home, but she doesn't understand; she doesn't know just how bad I feel about it.