Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: New South Wales, Australia
I know it feels like you are being forced but you have to sometimes look at it from her view. I'm not taking her side or anything but parents generally want the best for their kids, plus you're saying she is money orientated - so is it really a surprise that she is pushing you to pursue an education that will hopefully help you live comfortably in the future?
There isn't much money in horses - I believe that if you try hard for a long time that you'll succeed to an extent. I don't even know you but how passionate you sound - well I believe in you if that helps. Although it is hard to do more than "scrape" by in the horse industry. Yes, there are people who do great, but there are far and few between. For every successful horse person there are hundreds, if not thousands who have tried to make a living from horses and ended up finding in unfeasible.
My mother doesn't pay anything for me, and I don't live with her, but when I do stay with her she has a deal - if you're studying you don't pay rent - the moment I am not studying I have to pay rent.
If I said to my mother, "hey i'm going to drop out of uni to go ride horses at this nice horse place and learn stuff" she would go pretty nuts. She'd understand that I love horses, and she might support me to get my own or take lessons but she'd say that an education will allow me the opportunities to "follow my dreams" further down the track. She'd say sure, do horses in your holidays or when you finish but get a back up, she'd ask me what would happen if I were injured, or something, what would I do then if I couldn't ride? Or if I had a child or something. The idea would be to choose the option that would allow for most opportunity in the most range of circumstances in the future.
I'm not telling you to not do what you want - I'm just trying to help you see where your mum might be coming from you.
You tell her that if she doesn't support your wishes that you don't want her in your life - but her wishes are that you go to college and you aren't supporting that either. Parents always think they know what is best. To be honest, I know its not nice, but I don't know if I would consider your internship an "education". I mean you are learning things, but you're not working towards a qualification are you? I can see why she thinks she shouldn't have to pay.
I urge you not to cut your mother out of your life. Parents can be so tricky, and living with them, even for short periods, can strain an already tenuous relationship. In the long run though they're really all you have. Life's too short to hold grudges. To me it doesn't sound like she is being malicious it just sounds as if you have different priorities, and different perspectives regarding the sams situation. You can be angry all you want but its not going to help anything. Sometimes people let you down, but sometimes you unknowingly let others down, because expectations are not met.
I don't know a solution to your problem. I guess you could keep trying to explain the situation to your mother - although it may be falling on deaf ears, or you could try and get a very short term job, or offer to work around the house or workout a payment plan. I don't know just try and forgive, even though you're angry.
Is there anyone else you can stay with?