I am not asking you guys to convince me to buy a horse. I just needed to talk about how frustrating it can be, how things do pull you in different directions and how strange it feels when your wild dreams get an element of plausibility. Surely you understand that? We've all had moments when 'what if' becomes possible, and needed to talk about them with others. My friends are utterly uninterested in hearing about how owning a horse means spending five hours fixing fencing (as I did today) or going out at 8 am in the pouring rain (as I did yesterday) to check on a bunch of horses and get one in, dry and ready to be ridden by someone else. I'd hoped to be able to just chat about it with you guys.
A horse is a massive commitment, and I am absolutely not the kind of person to walk into that until I am utterly certain I can meet it. I use the word logic not to say 'I want to do this but I know I shouldn't', but because logic says that if two choices are evenly balanced, stick with the status quo.
The reason why I would prefer a lease to owning a horse, is that a lease gives me a trial option: I would look after a horse for a fixed time period, and if at the end of that period I felt I was not enjoying it as much as I expected, or that it was not suitable for me, I could end the lease without the horse being stuck in limbo; it would always be in a good home. The horse would not be in any danger of being stuck in a home with someone who did not enjoy meeting its needs.
I admit I have not been around horses since I was a small girl like many of you, but that should not mean I am not capable of understanding the work and lifelong responsibilities involved. Not all of us had the opportunity to get into the equine world when we were children, and it's not shameful to be bitten by the horse bug in your twenties instead of when you're eight. I have been bitten hard, and getting to spend time actually caring for horses is a fantastic experience that has me up early in the morning and out late at night, and I'm even enjoying the really horrible tasks. I managed to find a really horrible mucking out task satisfying. I know you guys can empathise with that!
I'm not going to run before I can walk. But it does seem that my experiences are showing me I might enjoy the responsibilities of horse ownership and one day be in a good position to own one.
It's very different growing to love horses at an older age; when you're a child you don't need to think about the financial and time commitments it involves, because you're only young and you have your parents guiding you and signing off on any decisions. You get to dream, and dream big! Please don't rob me of having some of the fun of dreaming just because I'm feeling the excitement at an age when I'm also aware that it'll suck money away and I have to go take care of the grumpy, smelly horse when it's cold and wet and miserable and I've had a bad day at work already! :)
If you believe everything you read, better not read.