Should I give up on him? (novel, peeved)
 
 

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Should I give up on him? (novel, peeved)

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    05-19-2011, 10:58 PM
  #1
Yearling
Should I give up on him? (novel, peeved)

Unsure of what to do here

I bought a yearling TWHxMFT stud colt early fall for $300. The people I purchased him from are (so I thought) friends of ours.
He was never touched, but very sweet. I originally wanted to purchase him as a weanling, but the amount of time we spend working did not permit it.

Now, at the time I could not bring him out to my place because of his 'stud status'. My older geldings would have quite honestly stomped him into the ground.
So, we waited a few weeks then had him gelded. Then it's another month or two until he's completely healed and what not.

At this point, I am still the only person working with this horse. Winter quickly arrives and with it, more work load, so my colt is not picked up. Winter here is a grand total of three months long.


Then comes spring (now) and we are finally free'd up somewhat for this colt. The only real free time we have for the out-of-town excursion is one day on weekends. One day, mind you.

So, we bring out our two horse trailer and I start working with my colt. All is well at first, then the former-owner comes over and starts 'working' him. Working is considered pulling on the lead rope, and tapping him on the rump with a whip to encourage a large young horse into a small old trailer.

It went as well as expected. Which is, he reared, braced his neck, and drug us around.
He was doing fine with my gentle grain method.


Now with spring also comes lots, and lots, of grass. The former owners of said colt live on over 100 acres of land. The colt I purchased is on a 1 acre dirt lot, alone, despite the fact that the other youngsters he was raised with are on GRASS with OTHER HORSES learning HORSE MANNERS.

These people KNOW that I have a TINY dirt lot and 12-14 acres or so of VERY rich grass. They not only have time, but farm hands to wean said colt onto grass. FARM HANDS. AND AN AREA TO DO IT PROPER.

Onto grass.
You know, where he would be fat without needing hay and grain. He's an extremely easy keeper, especially for his age.



Anyways!


So at this point (current time) I am STILL the ONLY PERSON WORKING THIS COLT. We managed to get out there last weekend, my dad FIXED their roof (for free, in the heat, for several hours) and I worked with my colt getting him into the trailer.

Because,
You know.
Nobody has time to do this.
Funnily enough.


I'm doing quite well and he's nearly in the trailer when Former Owner comes over.
I was being quiet, gentle, and calm. I allowed him to step in and out at will (we where just missing the back feet). He was calm, focused, and not terrified, confused, or otherwise panicking.

Former Owner butts in with a whip and starts YANKING on the lead and trying to PULL him in and insists on hitting him with the whip, on the rump.
THIS HORSE HASN'T BEEN WORKED WITH.
HE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THIS CONCEPT.
HE PANICKING, HELLO.

WHAT THE ?!!?!?

INSTANTLY he is SCARED and CONFUSED out of his mind. He starts rearing and spooking. Won't get near the trailer any more, is completely unfocused, runs you over when you try to lead him, or just goes where he wants to.
He (wow thanks!) starts turning his head to the opposite side, braces his neck, and just goes off to eat. This is a huge colt, at least 15hh, built like a tank.
It went as well as you can imagine, which is she starts SCREAMING at him and YELLING and smacking and pulling, yanking, etc. etc.

I'm quite peeved, and yet bite my tongue for the sake of civility.


On top of all this, before hand my dear father got to listen to:
"I NEVER should have sold him"
"He's WORTH so much MORE"
Etc.
Who just got finished fixing their roof, for free, materials supplied

1. If not for me, the horse would have never:
-Had a halter on
-Seen a trailer
- Be taught somewhat to lead
-Not run you over (at least not before)
-Would probably still be a stud,
-And would have never, ever, been tied to a hitching post.
Which I did, by the way. He broke a lead rope because they don't have any nice, stretchy inner tubes that allow you to actually work the horse.

BUT GUYZ
HE'S WORTH SO MUCH MORE.
(five thousand dollarz, dude)



Now these people are not POOR mind you. THEY have:
-A BRAND NEW live-in horse trailer, very expensive
-A BRAND NEW car to pull it
-TWO farm hands that work every day
-TWO horses in training
-And ungodly amount of farm and garden stuff
-A BRAND NEW 100 x 100 arena, uncovered, but an arena
-A BRAND NEW pre-manufactured home with two added decks.
-Have TWO horses in training with a not-so-cheap professional trainer
-Just got their very LONG driveway regraveled
-Just got their terror-bridge over the creek rebuilt.
-They are considering purchasing an additional, very, very nice, 40 acres next door.
This is not financed, either.
(inheritance from over a year ago, joy!)

BUT.
This horse cannot be:
-Weaned onto grass, where feeding would be nonexistent. Literally.
-Taught to load (thirty minuets a day, one week, presto) by said farm hands who are not dumb as bricks.
-Put out with any of their equally unworked with, older horses, to be taught the usual horse manners. Such as: No, you cannot bite me. I will kick you square young man.

NO. THIS HORSE MUST BE:
-Left on a dirt lot, alone, to rack up a unnecessary feed bill during all the GRASS MONTHS.
Because who cares about friends, amirite?

And rack up, a,
WAIT FOR IT....

OVER ONE THOUSAND DOLLAR FEED BILL.


Round of applause, everyone. He's on sweet feed and cheap grass hay. Whoo! Surrounded by over a hundred acres of land! With grass!
They have maybe 15 horses total!


Same people who after I bought Red, pulled him off a perfectly good pasture and put him on a TINY dirt lot with Loki who ran him off his food and turned him into an ugly, snaggle-maned version (mane is still half the length as when I bought him) of what he used to be. I needed a month in a half to find a pasture and put up the proper fencing.
Feed bill = obscene.



So my question is:
SHOULD I GIVE UP ON HIM?

THEY aren't loosing anything. I've added 'value' to the horse if anything. I've put over $500 into him so far with gas, shots, wormer, gelding, etc. Not to mention my time.


Thoughts?
     
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    05-19-2011, 10:59 PM
  #2
Yearling
Novel, apologies. X-X
Terribly peeved about this.
     
    05-20-2011, 02:50 AM
  #3
Green Broke
I'm confused, so you bought a horse you didn't have the time for nor a place to keep him and you're upset because the previous owners "didn't work with him"?

Then the previous owner tries to help you out and your furious about the methods he chose. If you don't like the way he works with horses, why did you even want him working with your horse in the first place?

Then you tell us that your still upset over the care they had provided previously for a different horse who you also bought without having a place ready for. What made you think they'd treat this horse any different than the last one? Seems to me you should have expected that they would respond exactly like the last time, which is what they did. Same dirt lot, same feed bill that you deem obscene.

They had the horse over 5mo according to what you are saying, if you were so unhappy with the care being provided the entire time, why didn't you request they care for him differently or move to him a facility that would provide the living arrangements you wish him to have?

We're you paying the previous owners to train *your* horse? Just because someone appears to be well-off or actually is well-off doesn't mean that they are obligated to provide you with free training, board or anything else. I certainly wouldn't be paying employees to go spend time with a horse I no longer owned but was gracious enough to board for a buyer that didn't have the time nor a place for. I can't think of anyone that would or would go train the horse themselves.

They aren't responsible for your gas bill, you wouldn't have a high gas bill if you hadn't bought a horse you weren't prepared for and therefore needed to drive to. Now you are considering just dumping the horse on them? Are you planning on paying his feed bill that yes, you are responsible for since you made the arrangements to keep him with them and it's not like it should be a surprise since oh yes, they fed your other horse the exact same way previously.

Of course YOU had to train said horse, he's YOUR horse! If you don't have the time, money or means to house and train a horse, why would you buy one? Sounds like you'd be best off selling this horse to someone who does have the time, money and means to properly care for and train him.
     
    05-20-2011, 03:27 AM
  #4
Weanling
I kind of read that the same as Delfina..

YOU bought a horse that you were not equip to deal with. You are upset that they are not keeping him on THEIR grass pasture (heads up - if it were me in their shoes , your horse would be on a dry lot also, my grass is for my horses).

Your upset that THEIR farm hands do not work with YOUR horse? Why should they work with your horse? You are not paying them, the land owner is, they are paying for a service, not you so why should your horse be any different from random Joe's down the road?

They've had your horse for a considerable length of time , they attempt to help you and you rebuke that and you are derogatory about the living arrangements for YOUR horse - if you don't like it , move him. Don't expect others to accommodate you in the manner you wish to be. You don't like something , go somewhere else.

Just because they're 'rich' doesn't mean that you can free load off their facility and staff, and just because they have inherited money doesn't mean that they should have to spend it on your animal (be that by your horse eating their grass , or their staff training your horse or otherwise)

IMO you are lucky they have had your horse for so long , I would be grateful , and in future not buy animals you cannot house/train/afford yourself. At the end of the day , your animal is your responsibility and no one elses so stop feeling like you should receive special treatment.

Harsh ..maybe , the truth - yes
     
    05-20-2011, 06:10 AM
  #5
Foal
I agree with the previous posters. I think you should be happy you have people around you that help you out, I know I would :)
     
    05-20-2011, 06:34 AM
  #6
Green Broke
I'm confused. Why is this animal still at the owners place? Did you pay for him? Maybe I skipped some of your post but I was having a hard time trying to figure out what you wanted. If he's yours, get him out of there. And if he comes along to help you load him I guess bad or good get him loaded. You can always train him better at home.
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    05-20-2011, 07:01 AM
  #7
Weanling
I'm sorry - I have to agree with the previous posters. You bought the horse. You really can't expect anyone else to be working with it.

I know you thought that being friends, the previous owners would keep your horses with theirs, but there is no obligation for them to do so. You bought the horse and then made no arrangements for how it would be kept. These are hard times for horse owners, economically, and I don't blame them for keeping the best land for their own horses.
As far as handling is concerned, you own the horse. If you do not like the way they handle him, you should simply tell them politely that you would rather handle him alone. Ie: "Thank you for trying to help, but I want to get him used to my methods and I would rather work with him by myself". It wouldn't kill the 'friendship'.

Just because they have the facilities to work with the horse, doesn't mean they should. They owe you nothing. If you do not have the facilities to deal with it yourself, and are not willing to find a boarding place that does, you should not have bought the horse. Period.

I understand that this all looks pretty bad to you, but consider their side. They're probably thinking 'god, this person bought the horse, then didn't come and collected it and expected me to keep it on my land and train it myself - it's as if I never sold him!' You really should be grateful that they have let you keep him there at all - I would certainly not do that for the buyer of my horse.

Finally, the bit I REALLY don't understsnd is -WHY would this mean you should give up on the horse?? He has done nothing wrong and he is still the horse you paid for. I don't see why you would give up on a horse just because you failed to collect it. If I were you I would move the horse and continue as planned. I think if I were the previous owner and had kept the horse for you all this time, I would be pretty angry if you just abandoned it.

Also, If you do give up on the horse, I wouldn't expect your money back from the sale. It would be your responsibility to find him a new home. Please don't think that if you decide to give up, you can just leave him where he is now.

Sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but I don't think you have been entirely fair to these people, especially in ranting about them in public now.
     
    05-20-2011, 07:15 AM
  #8
Green Broke
I have my filly 900 miles away. She is two this year. She is boarded with real good friends. I raised that filly and did all the work with her prior to her moving out there.

When I moved to Ohio, I never expected them to work with her. Honestly, I didn't want them to. They would probably not do it right. I have a completely different way of training. So of course now I'm worried when I do go to pick her up she will be a different horse and she probably will. But its ok because when she is with me we will start all over again. So, that being said, I won't give up on her because she is different. Don't give up. Just get him out of there.
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    05-20-2011, 10:45 AM
  #9
Yearling
Quote:
Originally Posted by Delfina    
I'm confused, so you bought a horse you didn't have the time for nor a place to keep him and you're upset because the previous owners "didn't work with him"?
1. I'M upset because THEY'RE upset because I'm not out there every waking moment to work him. I do have plenty of time for my horses, I don't have time to go out there every other day. Like I said, we DO do work for them when we do go out.

Then the previous owner tries to help you out and your furious about the methods he chose. If you don't like the way he works with horses, why did you even want him working with your horse in the first place?
2. I didn't ask for help, they decided it wasn't working and butted in. You can't exactly go off telling people to screw off.

Then you tell us that your still upset over the care they had provided previously for a different horse who you also bought without having a place ready for. What made you think they'd treat this horse any different than the last one? Seems to me you should have expected that they would respond exactly like the last time, which is what they did. Same dirt lot, same feed bill that you deem obscene.
3. Different dirt lot, actually. I'm just to trusting, I suppose.

They had the horse over 5mo according to what you are saying, if you were so unhappy with the care being provided the entire time, why didn't you request they care for him differently or move to him a facility that would provide the living arrangements you wish him to have?
4. Again, it boils down to time. I've known these people for several years and boarded Loki out there several years before Red and the little guy and we never had these issues. Why they started this, I don't know.

We're you paying the previous owners to train *your* horse? Just because someone appears to be well-off or actually is well-off doesn't mean that they are obligated to provide you with free training, board or anything else. I certainly wouldn't be paying employees to go spend time with a horse I no longer owned but was gracious enough to board for a buyer that didn't have the time nor a place for. I can't think of anyone that would or would go train the horse themselves.
5. As I said before, we (especially my dad) help them. It's a "I scratch your back you scratch mine" kind of deal. We help them every way they can.

The owner has ticked several people off with this, I'm not the only one.
I wouldn't be ticked if this was an actual business, but I was under the impression this is a FRIENDSHIP.
It's more like:
"You know those long hours you guys put in out here? Throw it out the window."


They aren't responsible for your gas bill, you wouldn't have a high gas bill if you hadn't bought a horse you weren't prepared for and therefore needed to drive to. Now you are considering just dumping the horse on them? Are you planning on paying his feed bill that yes, you are responsible for since you made the arrangements to keep him with them and it's not like it should be a surprise since oh yes, they fed your other horse the exact same way previously.
6. *I* was under the impression we had an understanding over this colt. They know what I run my horses on. Maybe I'm to helpful, but if I know a buyer is going to pick up a horse, I make sure it's 100% prepared for pickup. What it does and does not do is generally my issue to work out (including loading).
I would happily pay for winter months, but considering the amount of pasture they have, I honestly find this down right stupid.

Of course YOU had to train said horse, he's YOUR horse! If you don't have the time, money or means to house and train a horse, why would you buy one? Sounds like you'd be best off selling this horse to someone who does have the time, money and means to properly care for and train him.
7. I don't MIND training him, but it seems the second I'm getting somewhere, I'm being interrupted and rushed. Last time ended up in tears because I was so horribly frustrated. It was going fine, and the colt could be out at my place now, but no. I had to get rushed, cajoled, and irritated into trying to force a horse into a trailer.
These people have had horses for more years then I've been alive. It didn't work last time, it won't work this time!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scoope    
I kind of read that the same as Delfina..

YOU bought a horse that you were not equip to deal with. You are upset that they are not keeping him on THEIR grass pasture (heads up - if it were me in their shoes , your horse would be on a dry lot also, my grass is for my horses).

Your upset that THEIR farm hands do not work with YOUR horse? Why should they work with your horse? You are not paying them, the land owner is, they are paying for a service, not you so why should your horse be any different from random Joe's down the road?

They've had your horse for a considerable length of time , they attempt to help you and you rebuke that and you are derogatory about the living arrangements for YOUR horse - if you don't like it , move him. Don't expect others to accommodate you in the manner you wish to be. You don't like something , go somewhere else.

Just because they're 'rich' doesn't mean that you can free load off their facility and staff, and just because they have inherited money doesn't mean that they should have to spend it on your animal (be that by your horse eating their grass , or their staff training your horse or otherwise)

IMO you are lucky they have had your horse for so long , I would be grateful , and in future not buy animals you cannot house/train/afford yourself. At the end of the day , your animal is your responsibility and no one elses so stop feeling like you should receive special treatment.

Harsh ..maybe , the truth - yes
We work for them whenever possible. If WE where to charge for OUR services, it would far exceed the board and I wouldn't be having this problem.

I can more than afford to house, train, and afford my horses thank you. But in case you haven't checked, gas prices are a bit out of control at the moment and time is money.

Honestly it's only the one owner I'm having problems with (their a couple). The other one is actually friendly and understands that mucking out all your stalls, cleaning the barn, fixing breaks on the house and repairing computers is an actual effort.


Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but I don't charge my friends. Never have and I never will.



Right now, I'm at such at such a point of irritation and frustration it's like "Well if YOUR so IMPATIENT and IRRITABLE about it, YOU TRAIN THE FRIGGIN HORSE TO GET INTO THE TRAILER."

It's like you create a beautiful painting, just to have someone repeatedly come over and throw white paint on it just as your ALMOST finished and you have to start all over again while beating off a pack of rabid dogs.

While your mother-in-law is standing at your shoulder nagging you about petty things and being unhelpful and impeding.


I work in a calm, quiet, patient manner with my horses. Yelling, screaming, hitting, and force doesn't sit well with me. I didn't ask for help, I didn't need it, and I didn't want it.
     
    05-20-2011, 10:58 AM
  #10
Showing
He's supposed to be your horse, so move him somewhere else and stop thinking these people somehow owe you something.

If your father wants to do work for them with no pay that's his decision, not yours. It has nothing to do with your agreement concerning boarding the horse.

They're not obligated to provide a free place for you to keep your animal, nor are they obligated to put your horse out on grass. If you want him out on grass, move him to a place where that's an option for you.

Otherwise, quit your complaining that these people aren't doing things to your liking.

Seriously, what your father does or doesn't do for free has absolutely NO bearing on what your obligations are concerning your own horse.
     

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