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Should I quit??

This is a discussion on Should I quit?? within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

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        05-16-2013, 11:02 PM
      #21
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Skyseternalangel    
    .............okay just stop.

    Your post is making me upset. You have a horse... and your own jumps... and your own place to ride... AND an instructor that makes time for you.. and you're moping?

    Why are you moping?!

    Maybe you should consider just how lucky you are before you get all down and stuff. There is nothing wrong with this picture. I'd be over the moon if I had what you had.

    ~~

    Now if you are that 'bored' with doing 'grid work and flower boxes for the past five months' then maybe you should ask your instructor if you can do something different? Maybe take your horse to a show and do some gymkhana or something silly to let loose. Or to challenge you.

    Stop thinking "poor me" because that will get you and your horse nowhere.
    How about YOU stop? You've never done something and then decided that you maybe didn't want to do it any more? I certainly have, sometimes with rather expensive hobbies, too. And I've never had anybody say "You bought all this stuff for this... Why are you MOPING about it? You should consider yourself LUCKY that you have all of this stuff, stop being so down." Do you see how silly that sounds? And yes, I am aware that horses can go beyond a hobby and become a lifestyle. Maybe OP is realizing that she doesn't WANT that lifestyle.

    She didn't say "Oh, I'm bored of this basic work," it goes beyond that. She obviously is starting to become unhappy, and would rather move on to other things. It happens. Sure it's an ideal setup - How many 7th graders are in her situation who would love to be? But you have no right to tell her to "stop moping" because that's what you would have wanted. Ideal situation, maybe, but that doesn't mean she's required to stick with it. Some people grow out of thins. IT HAPPENS. Just because YOU are still into horses does not mean that someone who is moving on with their life is moping and will just get over it. Maybe you should consider that not everybody is going to get into horses and stay with it, and the people who decide to move on aren't necessarily whiny mopey kids.

    I'm sorry that that sounds rude, but that was such an ignorant response. Just because she's young doesn't mean she can't make big decisions like this.

    OP, you're still young. Go try different things, go explore. See what you want. You're plenty young enough to come back to it later, if you choose to. It could be that you're just getting down about the way others treat you, and it could be that you're genuinely interested in moving on. Don't continue doing something you're unhappy doing because of what others think - and o the other side, don't STOP doing something you love because of what others think. Do what you feel in your heart is right - you've got your whole life ahead of you.
         
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        05-16-2013, 11:03 PM
      #22
    Foal
    I would also be bored doing the same over and over. Is there other teens your age at the barn? Maybe see if you can ride with them throughout teh week so you atleast had a friend there. We used to have fun shows once in a while to change up all of our regular routines. Some of us were western, some english. Some trail riders and some of us showed. We would pick a weekend that worked for everyone and do things like barrels, poles, trail classes spoon and egg, the dollar bill under the bum bareback game (really can't remember what it was called) and any other games we could think of. It was pretty fun seeing what our horses could and couldnt do. I ended up 3rd in barrels one time on my 17hh english ridden TB gelding and lots of the other riders were western so it was neat to see he had the speed for it, even if it really isnt for us.
    We also did things like halloween costume parties and potluck dinners at the barn. Before I left that barn they were even starting up a just-for-fun drill team, and I know everyone who was involved loved it.
    It wont be fun unless you try to make it more fun. You have to put the effort too. Try to step out of your comfort zone a little and try something you normally wouldnt.

    As far as being teased in school, I know exactly what your going through. I went to a school in the city and out of all the students in the WHOLE school I was the only one that rode horses. I had people saying "oh hey, theres the horse girl" and would tease me because a lot of my school projects were horse related. It was never ended. You kinda have to learn to either come back with smart but not rude come backs or just ignore it and walk like you don't even hear them. Keep reminding yourself that you work very hard for what you have, while others may never get the chance to afford to ride and such. Its really hard, I know, Just try to push past it. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

    If you have truly lost interest after trying to make it more fun, maybe full lease your horse out (so you still own him) to some one more interested in jumping so he's still being ridden how you would like him (to an extent) This way you would not regret selling your horse if you change your mind within a year.
    If you take a year or so off and still feel like its not for you then consider selling.
         
        05-16-2013, 11:04 PM
      #23
    Weanling
    Oh gosh I don't ever think I could get bored eith horsrs, there.are so many people at my barn to ride with and lessons to go to. I did however, take a break from riding when I was your age due to lack of time, money and a decent barn, plus I also had a terrifying accident while riding. So I took a break for a few years but the desire to be around and work with horses was always there. I suggest that you take a break and see how you feel then.
    Posted via Mobile Device
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        05-16-2013, 11:06 PM
      #24
    Showing
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MyBoyPuck    
    Sky, she is not you. Just because horses comes easier to her doesn't make what she's feeling any different. Do you remember 13? It's a confusing enough age without being judged by people a half a world away. She sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders. I don't hear 'ungrateful'. I hear missing having that team experience which is important at her age. Hopefully she will trust her gut and do what she feels is right for her.
    I didn't say she is me at all...so I'm not sure why you said that.


    I am not going to compare myself to her at my age of 13. I will not make that comparison.

    She is being ungrateful in my opinion. Her exact words: "here I am on green draft cross with nothing but an instructor." That is an ungrateful attitude.

    She is very lucky to have those options, and even if she claims that she isn't ungrateful, her overall attitude suggests otherwise.

    ~~~

    I understand her wanting to be on a team, that's fine and I hope that happens for her.. or if she wants to get out of horses, that's fine too. I hope she does what makes her happy.. but she should not ever have such a negative and ungrateful attitude...
    AllieJ333 and Stichy like this.
         
        05-16-2013, 11:09 PM
      #25
    Yearling
    See, I don't see ungratefulness here at all. I see a girl longing for something beyond horses. YES she's lucky. But wanting to move on does not make her ungrateful. I've seen some people on here that I would label as ungrateful in a heartbeat, but this doesn't strike me as that kind of situation. She just wants something different.
         
        05-16-2013, 11:13 PM
      #26
    Trained
    OK everyone we are talking to a 13 year old here.
    No need to call her names or insist she is ungrateful.
    SHE IS 13. She doesnt know what she wants and that is completely normal.
    We have all had periods in our lives when we were not sure about our future even if we were happy doing the thing we supposedly loved.
    OP get more involved in your schools activities and branch out. Spending all your time at a barn probably does get boring.
    There is no need to throw all that experience out the door. Just step back and relax. Enjoy your teenage years. Ride at your own pace. For fun. Shalom
         
        05-16-2013, 11:15 PM
      #27
    Green Broke
    Personally..I'm not seeing why you can't play team sports and maybe go for a hack out in the pasture or jump a course on the weekends?

    While I wish I would've had everything you have now when I was 13, I don't believe you're being ungrateful. Obviously it's a hard decision to make if you're posting about it.

    But, you don't have to ride or even see your horse everyday (especially if you board and maybe someone else does feed/stall).

    I want horses to end up being my full-time career once I have my own ranch..but instead, right now, I get to stand outside in all weather as a human stop sign to PAY for my horse. I can see why a couple members think you're being ungrateful since we don't have that, but I really don't think they realize your age..I wanted to play football from the time I was 5 years old..It kills me to this day (I'm only 19 now) that my mother refused to let me. My original dream was to become the first female in the NFL, and I still whole-heartedly believe I could've made it had I gotten the experience. Maybe I wouldn't have dropped out of college had I had something extra-curricular.

    But definitely try to do something elae but grid work and flower boxes if it's boring..maybe ditch the instructor for awhile and just play around.

    I've been up to the barn saturday, sunday, monday, tuesday, and wednesday this week..I'm suppose to be putting furazone on my mare's barbwire cuts, but I just didn't feel like it today. If it was going to kill her to not have it, I'd have slapped the stuff on and left. Today was not a day to go see my horse because I probably would've beat the crap out of her if she was in a mood..so I made it a point to NOT go up because it wouldn't have ended well for either of us. We'd both have been miserable, and that's not what I want out of my horse..if I'm in a pissy mood, I don't go to the barn. If I'm reallyyyy happy, I don't go to the barn because with my luck she'd be a lunatic and my day would be ruined. I only go to the barn on days when I have the patience and decent mood to train, because that's what she needs. Even a trail is a gamble with her because I haven't taken her out alone yet..I think she'll do perfectly fine, but do I want it to ruin my day if she's bad? Nope.
    But if I'm sad...I know she'll do as I ask and not be a beast. She understands that I'm not going to ask much of her aside from respect because I just want to spend some time with my best friend.

    But, you're the only one that can decide these types of things. I do believe that all teens should be in a sport with a team at some point to raise their confidence and help them learn to work together with a team. I have that problem because my few years of a team sport was ruined because the coach didn't like that I wasn't "bubbly" enough and benched me half of each game even though every parent there referred to me as the best player the team had. That doesn't normally happen though and I wish I'd have gotten thw chance to play football..then I could've retired to my hundred acre ranch, lol. But..go play a team sport, I'd keep horses as a weekend sport. I know I'd be out of horses in a flash if I HAD to ride my horse 6 days/week training, I'd lose it. I make sure I don't get to that point though, because I love horses..especially my 'tude mares, haha.

    But..point being, it is something you have to decide for yourself. You have ample time to get back into horses later in life if you miss them; it's a lot harder to get back into team sports though, I think.
    Goodluck with whatever you choose though. (:
    Posted via Mobile Device
         
        05-16-2013, 11:19 PM
      #28
    Showing
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Shoebox    
    How about YOU stop? You've never done something and then decided that you maybe didn't want to do it any more? I certainly have, sometimes with rather expensive hobbies, too. And I've never had anybody say "You bought all this stuff for this... Why are you MOPING about it? You should consider yourself LUCKY that you have all of this stuff, stop being so down." Do you see how silly that sounds? And yes, I am aware that horses can go beyond a hobby and become a lifestyle. Maybe OP is realizing that she doesn't WANT that lifestyle.

    She didn't say "Oh, I'm bored of this basic work," it goes beyond that. She obviously is starting to become unhappy, and would rather move on to other things. It happens. Sure it's an ideal setup - How many 7th graders are in her situation who would love to be? But you have no right to tell her to "stop moping" because that's what you would have wanted. Ideal situation, maybe, but that doesn't mean she's required to stick with it. Some people grow out of thins. IT HAPPENS. Just because YOU are still into horses does not mean that someone who is moving on with their life is moping and will just get over it. Maybe you should consider that not everybody is going to get into horses and stay with it, and the people who decide to move on aren't necessarily whiny mopey kids.

    I'm sorry that that sounds rude, but that was such an ignorant response. Just because she's young doesn't mean she can't make big decisions like this.
    The fact that she is ungrateful for what she has at that point in time is what bothers me. It doesn't matter if she doesn't want to do it anymore.. that's HER decision. Her attitude is what bothers me.

    I did not mention anything on the lines of "you bought all this stuff for this... Why are you MOPING about it? You should consider yourself LUCKY that you have all of this stuff, stop being so down" so I'm not sure why you're saying that? I wasn't implying that at all.

    It's fine to take a break or quit. But having something and moping about it is not good.
    You took my post completely wrong. That's your mistake, not mine.

    ~~

    Also I should mention in my original post I was not being condescending, but I did get heated when she said "If you were in my situation you may feel the same way" which was my mistake. That was my own vent and I apologize about that.
    AllieJ333 likes this.
         
        05-16-2013, 11:21 PM
      #29
    Showing
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Shoebox    
    See, I don't see ungratefulness here at all. I see a girl longing for something beyond horses. YES she's lucky. But wanting to move on does not make her ungrateful. I've seen some people on here that I would label as ungrateful in a heartbeat, but this doesn't strike me as that kind of situation. She just wants something different.
    I agree with the bold. I am not saying that aspect of it was ungrateful.
         
        05-16-2013, 11:23 PM
      #30
    Green Broke
    Personally, I didn't view her comment about how she just has jumps and a coach as whiney or ungrateful..She was comparing her and a coach to a whole team.
    Posted via Mobile Device
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