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So...It's My Fault?

This is a discussion on So...It's My Fault? within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

     
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        05-13-2010, 10:25 PM
      #11
    Foal
    I agree with Northern and Appyt.

    My dad's a lot like that too. If he thinks you're trying to tell him what to do, then he gets angry and bites your head off. Appyt had the excellent idea of trying to make him think it's his idea. Never fails, and they don't get offended.

    You also need to tell your mother, because if she finds out that you two have been keeping this from her, it'll make it worse, because she'll feel like you didn't trust her, or didn't want her opinion. In all terms, it'll hurt her. Like you said probably best to get it over with. Giving your dad a set time to tell her is great, and if he doesn't then you should.
         
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        05-14-2010, 05:55 PM
      #12
    Foal
    I told dad to tell mom, and eventually he did. She didnt get outright angry but she was upset. Well, how can you blame her? Im upset too! And I know its a minor complaint, and im totally overreacting, but dad always puts MY horse in with his new ones (in their paddock). Like, NO! How bout you don't! She's all buddy sour for them.
         
        05-15-2010, 12:20 AM
      #13
    Foal
    I don't think you're overreacting. Anyone who's ruined a horse and bought another one without trying to learn something is bringing about their own trouble. I've ruined a horse, I'm not proud of it. But he went to a good home and I learnt from my mistakes. I now have a horse far more suited to me.
    I think you're right in what you're feeling. It's understandable.
         
        05-16-2010, 10:22 PM
      #14
    Foal
    Oh my god. These horses are insane. Dad wanted help leading them back to the barn so im like "ok". From observation I deduced that one is a fair bit calmer than the other, so I asked to take that one. Calm is about the overstatement of the century. First off, I go to pat her shoulder and she FLIES backwards and almost wheels and bolts but I stopped her. I can't even PET her without her totally flipping! I guess she's the dominant horse so she always has to go first wherever you lead them or the other one refuses to go, which is really irritating. Anyways, theres me leading her-the top of my head doesnt even reach her friggin withers, and she's all looky and threatening to spook, which I ignored..mostly to avoid freaking myself out. Then I take her in the gate but she just stands there as dads bringing the second one in. So I just give her a gentle tap on the rump with the rope, expecting her to just amble off or step out of the way like a normal horse would, but she FREAKS OUT and takes off at a gallop out of the barn and the second horse drags dad a few feet after the first before he gets her under control, and even then she's prancing and hopping and about to explode... I mean, theyve been here almost a week-surely theyre not still just new and scared of new surroundings?

    I am going to be perfectly honest here: they scare me. Theyre afraid of everything, and theyre going to hurt dad. They freak out and race away as I ride my bike past their paddock, and at trucks driving down the lane, and pretty much everything else they see, including people.

    Once again this behaviour begs the question: WHY were they sold? They come from the Kitchener sales ring, which, IMO, is one of the worst places to get a horse. I mean, sure you can get lucky, but that's the sort of place where horses that are old and broken down or else lunatics go, and if theyre not bought the meat buyers get them. Its especially not the place to gamble on a horse if you don't know how to handle them. So yes, why were they sold? Theyre only 10, theyre in good shape and it looks like theyre well bred, so WHY did they go to the meat ring? If someone honestly wanted to sell good horses and get a good price for them he'd sell them at Carsons, which is a place with a much better reputation. One had a big gouge down her side when she came here...who knows what happened to them before. All I know is if that horse had decided to throw a fit I wouldve been helpless. These horses are MASSIVE. Dad is a raging fool for buying these. Even the other team in the peak of their out of controlness were easier to handle than this, and they CERTAINLY werent like that when they first came here.

    ...I really wish dad hadnt bought these guys :( I really do.
         
        05-16-2010, 10:25 PM
      #15
    Foal
    Oh yeah, and dad always tries to put MY horse in with them, which really grinds my gears. And guess what they did this morning? They kicked her right over the fence! Well, they kicked her, she reared, and she fell back right over the fence! She has a pulled muscle in her leg, she DOESNT need to deal with this! She takes enough abuse from the other horses, let alone big black monsters that are evidently a little kooky in the head.
         
        05-17-2010, 05:42 PM
      #16
    Weanling
    Everyone's had really good advice, and again, just so you know: we're all here for you.

    But wow. These horses do sound like a handful, and your question is the same one I'd ask: Why were they sold in the first place? I've been to a fair number of sales myself, so I know that many many horses are sold just to keep the market circulating, but if relatively good-looking horses-registered, too-were sold at a meat ring like you said, I think there might be something fishy going on. I know you mentioned before that one person helped your dad out before: would it be possible for him to just come over and maybe give your dad some pointers, or help him?

    And jeez! How tall are these guys? You don't even reach their withers? Well, how tall are you in the first place? That might be an indicator. Anyways, good luck!
         
        05-17-2010, 11:00 PM
      #17
    Foal
    Hmm...sorry everyone I've basically ignored all your advice, but I really am very grateful for all the replies. It's nice to have people to talk about real, serious matters to...i guess you could say my "best friend" and I are on the outs, and rarely talk about these matters anymore. Anyways, that's irrelevant.

    As for getting the authorities involved, im not sure I want to. I mean, its my family. Im not sure I should call in the SPCA or something like that..

    Oh, um...i have no idea exactly how tall they are-as if im going to be able to get anywhere near them and get them to stand there while I measure them, but im 5'3" and don't even come close to seeing over their backs, if that helps any.
         
        05-18-2010, 09:10 PM
      #18
    Foal
    If you bought these horses from an auction, then obviously your dad lost out on his gamble. However, you've said that your dad doesn't know much, so perhaps these horses could have been mildly sedated when he saw them?? I know the auctioneers here sometimes don't check, and sometimes don't even really care. Maybe your dad thought he was getting quieter horses, and didn't realise until too late.
    They sound like they haven't been desensitised of anything, even people. This generally happens to horses that have been bred and not really handled. My sister has a pony like that. Quiet as buggery, but if something new happens or someone who she doesn't know tries to approach her too quickly, she just explodes.
    Make sure feeds not a problem, because if it's high energy then they're going to have all that energy.
    Have you told your dad that you aren't comfortable with him putting your horse with his? Sometimes when someone treats you badly, the only way to fix it is to treat them the same. Stand up for yourself!! =) If you don't want your horse in that paddock. Say it load and clear, and make consequences in case it is ignored. Sounds odd for a teenager to do that to an adult, when it's usually vice versa, but it works. Same with making things his idea.

    Actually...train him like a horse =P

    As for the size of the things - WOAH! That's pretty big for someone your size. That'd be my size - I'm 5'6.
         
        05-19-2010, 09:59 AM
      #19
    Foal
    Wow...they really couldve been drugged. I never thought of that. I mean, the night he brought them home they werent totally chill and were still nervous of me when I went into the stall, but they certainly werent as wired as they are now-they even allowed dad to touch their legs and whatnot, whereas now: pah! Good luck! And definitely at Kitchener they wouldnt have been checked.

    I have told dad not to put my horse in with them. I often get in battles with him, just in the end he always goes ahead and does it anyways when Im at school or something >=( . I have her sectioned off for now, though.

    And we have another problem. The friend of dads who sometimes helps him has an annual big trail ride where a bunch of teams and riders go and ride around a few blocks and then go back to his place. And dad wants to take his monsters. Which freaks that sh** out of me. He hasnt had them out since last Saturday when one of his other horse pals was here and helped him, and they are going to be crazy. And he's going to want me to help him. Call me coward, fine, but I don't want to. I really don't. Im going to tell him that im not helping and he should get one of his other friends to come over that morning and hitch, and if he wont, then I am saddling my horse extra early and getting out of there before he does. Its really immature what im doing, but last year...it was really bad. And we didnt even have those nutbars then. It was so disasterous, with dad yelling, and the horses rearing and jumping, that I cried, because I got yelled at for "wrong" stuff I was doing even though I didnt want to be out there in the first place, and I was doing just fine-he was just frustrated because he couldnt control his horses. So, like a horse, I will do anything to get away from discomfort and possibly injury, even if that means running away early. >.< Come to think of it, I've never rode my horse so far alone, but I don't think she'll do anything...the worst might be bolting and trying to go faster in excitement, but w/e-its basically open field. I'll take a cell phone and stuff so if I do run into trouble I can call mom, but otherwise, Im not terribly worried....well, for myself anyways.
         
        05-20-2010, 07:54 PM
      #20
    Foal
    I think that might be a good idea - the leaving early bit. He can't exactly haul you back. =) Just make sure you do take your phone, in case of an emergency.

    Also, I don't know if you do, but here in Australia you can get calming pastes for the horses. It's delivered much like worming paste, tube-style, and after about 20-40 minutes it relaxes the horses. However you might not be able to give it to them if they are as wired as you say they are, so perhaps putting some chamomile in their feed. It's the active ingredient, and I think there should be a site that tells you how to do it properly. Or I think you can buy it readymade.
    Again check the feed. If you're feeding them buckets of oats they're going to be mental.
    Good luck!
         

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