some people I just wanna smack or shake really hard - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 21 Old 06-16-2010, 01:44 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Port Orchard Washington State
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Angry some people I just wanna smack or shake really hard

Another big vent (cookies if you get through it or just snag some anyway) I've put in bold the main points for those of you who are skimmers

Kevin is now taking lessons from me on one of my trainers lesson horses (after he's signed his horse over to me), he's doing good. Today he came out and after his lesson he was just getting on my nerves.
For example instead of saying Whoa and Horse he would say wooo (as in woo a baby to sleep) and hoss (as it sounds). Pissed me off, my trainer saw me steaming and I told kev that if he didn't cut it out right then I'd smack him with my dressage whip. He laughed, I said I wasn't joking, he says it again and I smacked him across the upper thigh (over a thick pair of jeans and not as hard as I really wanted to) and glared.
I pushed him out of the barn and said his immaturity was not welcome here and to go sit in the car like the 10 year old he's acting like and when he's ready to behave, listen, and follow direction he is welcome to come back out. I reminded he is there to learn and isn't there to mess around and be stupid. He looked a bit butt hurt and smiled with the look of trying to hide embarrassment but cut it out.
He had been doing "his horsey language" for a bit and getting on everyones nerves and thanks to those pesky female hormones, I haven't been very tolerant lately. He straightened up right away.

Vet came out today to do some chiro on Sampson and recommended until Saturday when he gets his front shoes, we need to leave him in and turn him out in the arena just to stretch his legs and roll but mainly no play time in the pasture so he doesn't break off any of his front hoof. After my trainers last lesson of the night I took the big boy out and turned him loose in the arena. Kevin followed me in to watchin Sampson chase his shadow and snort through the wall at the stalled horses and be himself. After he's done rolling and being a horse he came over kind of to say "ok I'm done" I went to pat him on the head and he went for a hard rub up my chest which isn't ok with me (I'm little and don't appreciate being pushed over with an itchy face), I gently poked him in the side of the nose and said "no rubbing" and went back to scratching his forehead and the rest of his face. Kevin had the nerve to say to me(and even my trainer held her breath at this) "Um Ellie, Sampson doesn't like it when you poke him in the nose like that"

My response was as follows (or along the lines of):
"Really?! Well thank you for letting me know what MY horse likes and excuse me for being so rude as to let him know he's not allowed to push me around just because his face itches. I'm sorry but I think I know him just a tad bit better than you and honestly I'm sick of you strutting in here like you own the place when you haven't even been consistently riding for a year. Don't tell me how to treat or act around my horses! I know big boy better than you did even when you owned him."

With a deep breath I took him back to his stall and he nudged me very gently as if to say "breathe, it's ok."

I went and gave Caleigh a big hug and started on her nightly massage to calm myself down. I could hear my trainer in the arena was firmly but kindly explaining my outlook on training and how much this whole situation has been bothering me. In the car ride home he apologized and asked if he could come out for a lesson tomorrow and I said I'd think about it but he would be better off finding another ride over.

Maybe it's just the hormones but he's been getting on my nerves. We've known each other for years and he never used to be this hard headed and annoying. Outside of the barn he's not like this at all but I had to put a stop to this nonsense. Outside of the barn he acts like a smart 20 year old but at the barn he's an immature hormonal 10 year old. If it continues I told him he wouldn't be welcome at the barn period.

ps: Here's the cookies!

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When life gives you lemons....chuck em at whoever is giving them to you!
I don't want lemons! I want cookies!

Last edited by drafts4ever; 06-16-2010 at 01:47 AM.
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post #2 of 21 Old 06-16-2010, 01:58 AM
Join Date: May 2010
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boy o boy have there been ppls i've wanted to smack x.x like my little sister who thinks shes smarter then me x.x she makes me mad (she oviously isn't btw) and idk i probably would have gotten mad at him too x.x i mean really telling you wat your horse likes dang that would make me maaaaad
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post #3 of 21 Old 06-16-2010, 02:03 AM
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Location: British Columbia, Canada
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Good God. Can I smack him? I don't know what's up with certain men finding it fun to annoy other people (my bf and I just got into a huge fight about this just last week). Kudos to you for being firm and telling him how it is, and I'm glad your trainer cares enough to explain to him why you said that.

Talk about awkward car ride, eh?
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post #4 of 21 Old 06-16-2010, 02:56 AM Thread Starter
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Location: Port Orchard Washington State
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I understand that Sampson was originally going to be Kevins horse but the two are nowhere near ready for each other and Sampson is mine now. Kevin can come pet him and groom him under supervision but that's absolutely it. I'm at the barn and have been every day, I always have and out of the 3 weeks Sampson has been at the barn Kevin has seen him 4 times...I think I know him more than Kevin not to mention I have 18 years of horse and riding experience over him.

This just rubs me the wrong way. Very awkward ride home. I love the barn I'm at. It's very family oriented and everyone treats each other as family. My trainer explained it to him very well and I couldn't thank her enough for that. I hope he gets it now. He's the student, not the teacher.

When life gives you lemons....chuck em at whoever is giving them to you!
I don't want lemons! I want cookies!
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post #5 of 21 Old 06-16-2010, 03:10 AM
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post #6 of 21 Old 06-16-2010, 07:35 AM
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Originally Posted by drafts4ever View Post
If it continues I told him he wouldn't be welcome at the barn period.
Um, it is not your barn is it?

Silly me but it sounds like he is flirting with you to me.
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post #7 of 21 Old 06-16-2010, 08:15 AM Thread Starter
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It's my trainers barn (long time family friend as well), I'm a trainer there and the equine massage therapist as well. It's my job. The vet does the chiro though which is amazing to watch, I'd like to pursue that later on as well, she's a wonderful vet!
We are a drama free barn and if he is going to be there pissing people off (and yes we've warned him about censoring his mouth around our younger students) and acting like a 10 year old he's not welcome. The conditions of him learning from us are he must listen, he has to attend 3 lessons a week and he has to help clean stalls if he's going to be receiving free training from me. This was prior to him signing the horse over to me. Now that he can afford training for himself I'll be charging him for lessons.

Flirting or not it's still highly inappropriate and especially at his age to be doing what he's doing. He's flat out NOT listening and putting himself in danger which is NOT ok. I told him it needed to stop or he needed to find a different barn. If my trainer had a problem with it she wouldn't have hesitated to step in and say something. She backed me up for the whole thing but was more level headed about it which I appreciate.

Now if this were to be happening outside of the barn, I'd roll my eyes and just go along but he's distracting students during lessons, not censoring himself verbally when there are younger children in the area, ignoring instruction on how to properly and safely handle a horse, and a list of other things. After he signed over the horse things changed a little bit but they seem to have come back kicking and swinging in his behavior. Honestly I don't know how to explain it. I need a camera to video tape it and it'll explain it much better. As for being on the horse (lesson horse) he's coming a long way and listening but seems to have forgotten everything he's ever learned on the ground including manners and maturity towards fellow human beings. I just don't get it!

When life gives you lemons....chuck em at whoever is giving them to you!
I don't want lemons! I want cookies!

Last edited by drafts4ever; 06-16-2010 at 08:25 AM.
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post #8 of 21 Old 06-16-2010, 08:26 AM
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Awkward car ride? My boss drove me home after firing me even though I persisted on taking the bus... Talk about awkward she gave me the whole "we still want your business" speech.

Good on you for telling him where to go!
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post #9 of 21 Old 06-16-2010, 08:34 AM Thread Starter
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He's a great friend outside of the barn but something changes when he gets there and he turns into a child and he's on his last chance. Messes up this time he's not even welcome to join me to just sit and watch people ride. It wouldn't be safe.

Here's another example. Before he signed the horse over to me he wanted to ride him at the walk bareback. I said ok, someone needs to hold the horse while you get on and lead the horse. If you wait about 5 minutes I'll put Caleigh away and help you. He's waiting patiently with the big boy while I'm putting my horse away. I come back into the arena to find him standing on the mounting block, Sampson about 3 feet away and fidgiting, just in time to see Kev basically launch himself onto the horses back because he was too far away and nobody was holding him!!!! Of course Sampson takes off down the arena and stands literally shaking at the gate while Kev is brushing dirt off his jeans swearing about the horse.

That was the dumbest thing I have ever ever ever see someone do other than the boys on Jackass!!! My youngest student who hasn't been near horses for more than 2 months wouldn't have even thought of something so stupid!!! That's the huge reason behind him signing the horse over. My trainer had him sign a second contract the next day that she drew up saying basically if he did something that stupid again he had no more chances. (luckily he's only been extremely annoying and childish since then). A 20 year old should know way better than that!!! I have no way to explain that sort of stupidity and it took everything in me to not smash him the best I could into a wall and scream at him! I went home and wailed on my punching bag.

When life gives you lemons....chuck em at whoever is giving them to you!
I don't want lemons! I want cookies!
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post #10 of 21 Old 06-16-2010, 08:49 AM
Join Date: Mar 2010
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If I had a Dollar for every time I've had to count to 10 ...

Keep yelling - getting it off your chest definately helps ... though this working arrangement sounds like it may be becomming terminal!

Adding a touch of Glitz and Glamour to work and play
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