Someone's Getting A Horse Who's Not Ready. - Page 2

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Someone's Getting A Horse Who's Not Ready.

This is a discussion on Someone's Getting A Horse Who's Not Ready. within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

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    07-04-2010, 11:46 PM
How is she going to afford the horse in the first place?

I guess what I am trying to get across is that advice from another minor won't be worth much. If you really think it will end badly or they aren't prepared, perhaps write up your concerns, the costs involved in this venture, and give it to your parents to discuss with her parents?
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    07-04-2010, 11:51 PM
Green Broke
Originally Posted by wild_spot    
How is she going to afford the horse in the first place?

I guess what I am trying to get across is that advice from another minor won't be worth much. If you really think it will end badly or they aren't prepared, perhaps write up your concerns, the costs involved in this venture, and give it to your parents to discuss with her parents?
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Thanks :) I'll do that. I just don't want her confidence getting ruined a horse getting ruined and her not wanting to ride anymore. I KNOW first hand what having a horse you can't handle is like - it ruins you. But I've spent more then my fair share of time riding school horses, having lessons on MY horse and school horses since I put Chinga into caring. Just because I'm not an advanced rider doesn't mean I can't tack up, feed, rug, groom, clean feet of, ect my own horse. The basics HE needs. As much as I love Chinga if it started to effect the basics he needed I'd sell him.
    07-04-2010, 11:53 PM
But, its her and her parents decisions, not yours. No matter how you want it to be, no matter how much you want to offer assistance, it is not your place to give advice. Giving advice to someone who is not asking for it nor wanting it is the best way to lose a friend.
When I got my very first horse years ago, I didn't know alot either. You learn as you go. Some folks never learn, some folks do.
I would also suggest not telling everyone on the forum or anyone who you talk to that "she can't afford lessons, how is she going to afford farrier, vet, etc?" Again, not your business and I would be very upset if my friend was telling the whole world that I could not afford something.
How do you know that her and her parents are not discussing this between them and making all the right choices? I agree, a newby should not get a young horse, that is a big mistake folks make all the time, but you telling her what age horse to get is just a big red flag to get a horse that is young.
Not so long ago you were making bad decisions also, then slowly have learned to do what is best, not what you thought was best. You were bound and determined not to listen to any advice,, even after you asked for it. Now you are expecting your friend to listen and take all the advice you are so graciously giving her, even though she is not asking for it.
Leave it alone and let your friend make her own decisions and mistakes. She will probably ask you for help in the future, but for now, this is not your decision nor your place to give advice.
    07-04-2010, 11:59 PM
Green Broke
Alrighty I'll just let her do what she likes and possibly ruin a horse then -- Sounding nicely but not sounding like I wanted it too. I just don't want to see what happened to me happen to someone else, type thing?
    07-05-2010, 12:00 AM
Green Broke
This is a situation that you can not effect. She is going to get the horse. If you start getting all up in arms, throwing advice at her that she hasn't asked for, chances are she's going to dig her heels in and do the complete opposite of whatever you suggested. You said you told her she needed something older than 8. Don't be surprised if she comes home with a 4 year old now. And for the record I have known many horses under 8 that were fantastic beginner's horses.
    07-05-2010, 12:05 AM
Green Broke
Thanks, her mum was there when we spoke about ages advice which she asked for and her mum also spoke to me about ages and basically her mum doesn't want anything under the age of 16 - which I had nothing to do with the age of choosing. She just simply feels that she wants an older horse for her daughter. If that makes any sence.
    07-05-2010, 12:18 AM
It sounds like her mum has a bit of sense then - Which is a good thing.

Trust me Chinga, we ALL know how it feels to just stand by and watch people do silly, ignorant, foolish things. But as someone else mentioned, trying to help when it isn't asked for can often have the opposite effect.

The best thing you can do in these situations is sit back, wait for it to go downhill (If it does) and wait for them to realise they are in over their head and they are in a frame of mind where they are willing to admit they may have been wrong.

You know how hard it is because you went through it yourself - It's only once things get really bad that most people are willing to step back and take advice from those they may have spurned previously.
    07-05-2010, 12:23 AM
Green Broke
Thankyou so much. I'll just tape my mouth or something. I find it hard NOT to tell my opinion.
    07-05-2010, 12:30 AM
I know the feeling - Trust me. And I have gotten into strife in the past because I wasn't able to keep my mouth shut. It's a skill that improves with age and practice!
    07-05-2010, 12:52 AM
All you can do is give her advice that you have learned through your life experiences. Try to help her with the knowledge that you do have and if she chooses not to accept the help, then there is nothing you can do. The more you try to push on people, the more they want to resist.

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