Spoiled girl.....ugh - The Horse Forum
 
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post #1 of 10 Old 04-22-2011, 01:10 AM Thread Starter
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Spoiled girl.....ugh

Theres tons of backstory to this,as Ive worked at this barn for 4 years, had a horse there for 2.Im basicaly what you would call the barn manager, working alongside the BO everyday (she likes doing most of the stalls herself lol).Ive become very close friends with the BO over the years and she confides just about everything to me and vice versa.
Her daughter is the barns trainer and a **** good one as far as her ability and understanding of horses.Salem and I would be lost had it not been for her assistance with bringing him this far.Its never been a secret that my trainer is a very lazy girl (I frequently find her saddles left out, garbage she leaves around, trail equipment she leaves in the arena, etc.) Shes never had to support herself and recently moved back in with her parents.The BO has always done everything for her-shes basicaly just spoiled silly.She keeps all her horses at the barn and doesnt pay a cent to her mother for their feed or care (besides feet and vet) and pays nothing to live with her mom.
The BO has been having financial issues and her daughter offers no help, shes too busy going shopping,bar hopping and NOT working with the horses she keeps buying herself for resale.Recently she made a comment to her mother that was downright WRONG and Ive just had enough.I realize its not my business,and that the BO created this problem for herself by never making her daughter be responsible but.....
I place a TON of value on a persons morale and character.At this pointe I cant even be in the same room with the girl ,Im so disgusted with her. I have seen what a selfish, crappy person she is and I cant unsee that and now I dont even want her for a trainer-I dont care to hand my hard earned cash over to that bratty wench.
But part of me knows that since I dont have the knowledge to properly train Salem myself (at least not without it taking twice as long and being twice as confusing for Salem) and the BO doesnt allow other trainers to come in,that I am in a bit of a pickle. I dont want to deprive Salem of excellent training because of my personal dislikes but I cant even stand to look at her.....any advice?
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post #2 of 10 Old 04-22-2011, 03:17 AM
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Put aside your personal opinions of her for the sake of your horse.

I can understand your frustration with her but unfortunately it's really none of your business; it's between the BO and her daughter.

If you can't look past the mother/daughter issues for the sake of your horse I would suggest looking for a barn that treat private family matters as just that - private.
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post #3 of 10 Old 04-22-2011, 06:43 AM Thread Starter
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I would never move to another barn unless mine shut down for some reason. That is one thing I refuse to do to Salem.The care is amazing, and not just because of me.The BO is crazy about keeping the stalls nice,the horses are checked for injury each day as they are brought in and out,feed is customized and adjusted to each horse and if something goes wrong (horse colics,casts,etc.) someone is always there until 10pm and will stay over night if needed (Ive stayed overnight to watch boarders horses that were colicing).
I would be a nervous wreck leaving Salem in the hands of strangers.So thats out of the question.....Plus,my BO is like family to me,I wouldnt leave her,I know she releys on me to keep everything in order.
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post #4 of 10 Old 04-22-2011, 07:20 AM
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Then I guess you have three options:

Speak to BO about letting outside trainers in and risk upsetting the relationship you have with her, float your horse to another trainer but continue to board at the same barn, or as I said before, put aside any resentful feelings you have toward BO's daughter for the sake of your horse's progression.

Unfortunately it sounds BO will always support her daughter no matter what the behavior, and she's her daughter, you have to respect that. You could always just be there for BO and listen to her when she needs someone to talk to.

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post #5 of 10 Old 04-22-2011, 07:25 AM
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Ther is ALWAYS going to be someone like this where you are. ALWAYS. As much as it sux.

Cross Country- The act of hurling yourself and your equine partner at a stationary object with poise and grace while attempting to survive...
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post #6 of 10 Old 04-22-2011, 07:27 AM Thread Starter
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I am and do...we talk a lot.I think I will have to just suck it up for now
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post #7 of 10 Old 04-22-2011, 03:36 PM
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Sounds to me like you should stay out of their personal issues. And it's not like you're just handing over money to the daughter. She's providing you with a service, and you're paying her for it. It also sounds like you're otherwise very happy with the place, so you don't have much room to complain. No matter where you go, you're bound to have a problem with someone. That's just the way it is.

If you really hate this girl, just stop taking lessons from her. Your horse isn't going to die if he isn't being schooled. Worst case scenario, if you reach the end of your rope and have to move, there are other good barns out there. I know moving is scary, but everybody starts out as a stranger. That's why you have to check the place out thoroughly.

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post #8 of 10 Old 04-22-2011, 05:01 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessabel View Post
Sounds to me like you should stay out of their personal issues. And it's not like you're just handing over money to the daughter. She's providing you with a service, and you're paying her for it. It also sounds like you're otherwise very happy with the place, so you don't have much room to complain. No matter where you go, you're bound to have a problem with someone. That's just the way it is.

If you really hate this girl, just stop taking lessons from her. Your horse isn't going to die if he isn't being schooled. Worst case scenario, if you reach the end of your rope and have to move, there are other good barns out there. I know moving is scary, but everybody starts out as a stranger. That's why you have to check the place out thoroughly.
I could tell the BO to stop sharing her personal issues with me but Im her close friend and she vents to me because she isnt comfortable sharing it with others.I could stop taking lessons,but Salem is just turning 3 and has a loooooong way to go.If I had to move him for some reason,I would have to see if someone I know would let me keep him at their place.I had already worked at my barn for 2 years before I got Salem so I was no stranger and it was the only reason I felt comfortable with it.
I actualy have a problem with ALOT of ppl,but I normaly just let it go,Im pretty laid back.This girl just keeps pissen me off more and more.But she IS wicked good at explaining stuff,to horses and ppl soooo I think Im just gona keep on keepen on.....sux
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post #9 of 10 Old 04-22-2011, 05:30 PM
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Every time you see her, think of something positive about her. The way she explained leg position in a lesson, if she cleaned up someone else's mess, if she took in a stray horse to train and give a better life, etc. I find if I'm busy thinking about people's positive qualities, I don't have time for the negative ones. Also, trick yourself into liking her by talking about non-horse things with her, and smiling/laughing every time you're around her. ACTING happy will trick your brain into thinking you ARE happy. Just some tips I use, and they seem to work for me. Don't move your horse, these people are everywhere. Give him the best care and lessons and learn to deal with personal issues. And if your BO asks for advice or your opinion, be gentle but honest. If the hard facts come from you, maybe her eyes will be opened and she'll try to make some changes in their relationship. Otherwise, there's nothing you can do and it's their problem.
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post #10 of 10 Old 04-25-2011, 05:03 PM Thread Starter
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Spose thats what Ill have to do :) Kinda what I do anyways.Ive been worken at the little things with Salem in the meantime,try to stretch out the time between lessons.
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