Stressed! Potentially dangerous situation?

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Stressed! Potentially dangerous situation?

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  • 1 Post By AlexS
  • 3 Post By Saranda
  • 3 Post By boots
  • 1 Post By beau159

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    04-03-2013, 02:26 AM
Stressed! Potentially dangerous situation?

Hi guys :)

I'm feeling extremely stressed and worried right now!

I'm supposed to be going to to a show this weekend, the show its two hours away, I'm not competing however I am going along with someone who is to see how my horse is in the show environment.
Neither of these horses have been on a long distance trip in years (I'd consider two hours long distance :) ) And I've never been out with my own horse in the year and a half i've owned him.

Today we practiced loading them, My horse (Beachy) was absolutely fine, both getting on and off. He has to be in the middle bay of the Truck as he is larger and its on more of an angle, so its more spacious (Although I still have to get him on and then back him into it!)
However, their horse was showing some extremely unacceptable and dangerous behavior. After he eventually got on the ramp, he would immediately turn round and start jig jogging, rearing, front footing, and running the owner over. He fell off the ramp several times (not over, just off) And I was extremely surprised he didn't hurt himself.

The owner, Who I am quite close to (i'm only on my learners right now, she lives very close to me and she gives me lifts home) has got an extremely 'soft' approach to handling him. Let me add this horse is only 4 years old, and was brought for a 14 year old rider. Who I'm also close to (although she was advised not to by both of our instructors due to his age). If he bites anyone she will not give him a smack or tell him off, she says its because he's anxious. He rears up on the lead, I've witnessed him almost front footing the girls head when she was leading him to the paddock. I'm generally afraid of this horse, as are several other people.

I used to ride him with the old owner, who admittedly was extremely harsh on him. But he NEVER displayed any of this behavior with her.

I've gotten off track here, Sorry!
I'm just really nervous of putting my horse on after she puts her horse on. Because I am concerned that as soon as we re open the trucks ramp her horse is going to hurt beachy trying to get out. I also don't want to get hurt myself by getting run over. I've offered to help, but she refuses anyones help.

I feel so awful saying these things! But i'm afraid that someone is going to get very hurt by this horse and his manners. I'm also fed up with being bitten and disrespected by him in the paddock. The BO is well aware of his behaviour, but as I said any offering to help is rejected (The BO is also our instructor, who is like family to all of us grazers)

Has anyone else had this problem before?
I hate knowing that sometimes its just best to sit back from these things.

Also, she's recently painted the loading bays in the truck white? Its extremely bright, wouldn't this make the horses more anxious?

I don't know how to politely tell her that I don't want to go with them on Sunday, As I think they were only going if I was, I don't want to hurt anyones feelings or create unnecessary drama!

Sorry about this being an extremely long post!
Thanks for listening to me rant away!
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    04-03-2013, 02:37 AM
As you are not comfortable, just tell her that you don't want to go.

I'd probably be honest and say that you don't want to be involved in the trailering scene, but you can always lie and say that you are not ready, don't want, feel unwell - whatever.

But bottom life, if you don't feel safe in that environment, then don't put yourself in it.
Back2Horseback likes this.
    04-03-2013, 02:43 AM
I'm just worried that she's going to take it the wrong way, as she knows my horse loads fine, so she will straight away know that Its because of her horses behavior.
I'll be more than comfortable after she's sorted her horses issues out, but just currently its something i'd rather not get involved in. I would like try loading him on and off and doing some groundwork with him, as I'm really interested in working with him, but because she doesn't want any help I can't try.

Very frustrating.
    04-03-2013, 05:21 AM
Super Moderator
Just be honest and word your concerns tactfully. The owner might just as well need this wake-up call to start seriously sorting out her horses' issues. You shouldn't place yourself in an uncomfortable - and dangerous! - situation just because you don't want to offend someone.
beau159, nvr2many and Lockwood like this.
    04-03-2013, 06:53 AM
I would not go. If you are nervous, it will transfer to your horse.....and before you know it, you will have a horse that will no longer load easily.

I am not sure how you think this person will ever straighten out her issues with this horse if she doesn't correct it. It wiil not get better on its own. Personally I would just not do it. I have a feeling that as much as you think she is being nice etc, she is wanting your horse to go so that hers isn't alone since that may compound the issues she has with her horse.
    04-03-2013, 09:15 AM
Super Moderator
I agree with the others. It is a difficult situation to be in, and while it may be hard to speak up as to why you don't want to go, getting hurt or your horse getting hurt will be worse, trust me.
And, if their horse stresses out or injures your horse, he may not want load and go places in the future.
    04-03-2013, 09:20 AM
Originally Posted by Canteringleap    
I'm just worried that she's going to take it the wrong way, as she knows my horse loads fine, so she will straight away know that Its because of her horses behavior.
I'll be more than comfortable after she's sorted her horses issues out, but just currently its something i'd rather not get involved in. I would like try loading him on and off and doing some groundwork with him, as I'm really interested in working with him, but because she doesn't want any help I can't try.

Very frustrating.
You're being kind to consider her feelings, but on the other hand, this may serve as a catalyst to her realizing she needs to develop some basic horse handling skills.

Being avoided by others is very powerful in changing behavior for humans. This may help her, the horse, and people she will be around in future situations.
    04-03-2013, 09:58 AM
Green Broke
Life happens...just say something has come up & you can't attend the show.
    04-03-2013, 10:30 AM
I would just be honest and say that you feel it would be dangerous to have the horses in the trailer together until his behavior is corrected. If she has any common sense at all she will realize that this is a dangerous situation and correct it, if not start looking for another trailer buddy.
    04-03-2013, 11:19 AM
Be honest.

Tell her you are not comfortable trailering your horses with hers, because you know her horse has an issue. Tell her you that you very much appreciate her offer to take you and your horses to this show, but that you will wait until her horse loads better.

Quite frankly, horses are smart animals and they will pick up bad behavior from watching others. If you want a "real" reason, you can tell her that you don't want your horses to witness a bad-loading horse because they may copycat that horse. (Which can be true in many cases.)

If she doesn't want help loading her horse, there's not much you can do. People are stubborn. Just tell her you won't haul with her until her horse loads better. Period. Honest.
boots likes this.

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