teaching manners
   

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teaching manners

This is a discussion on teaching manners within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category
  • Teaching manners to weanlings

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    05-02-2013, 05:01 PM
  #1
Banned
teaching manners

Hi..


I was just wonderin how I can teach the person I ride with proper riding etiquette and manners with out being rude about it? Is that even possible? Lol.

I ride with someone thatll take off riding while im still mounting- of course the horse I ride wants to walk away too and I don't want to show the horse that's acceptable-- I don't want to hurt myself mounting a horse that's walkin off either.. like I done today.. my bodys way of tellin me im gettin kinda old for trick ridin? Lol.



It just kinda ruins my ride when I get into an arguement about how the person I ride with can't be the leader- they end up cryin about it the whole ride.. I don't wanna be stuck behind a green rider who has no manners!! I can't say anything or 'im bein mean' it sucks and it really puts me off to riding..

My opinion-- im the seasoned veteran -im on the faster walkin horse- im the leader.. the person I ride with just doesnt wanna follow but has no clue what to do when it comes to holdin a branch- or warning me about things on the trail.. its so annoying.. no- our horses wont walk beside eachother.. his horse is a peckerhead too.. lol.


How can I tell him he's being rude with out his big ego thinking im belittling him?

Anyone else ride with a 'know it all' or rude beginner? What can I do to make our ride go smoother?
     
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    05-02-2013, 05:20 PM
  #2
Super Moderator
Quite simply I would tell them that if they do not listen to what I have to say and learn the ethics of riding out together then I will not ride with them any more.
Explain the ethics and the reasons why (mostly the dangers of behaving in such a way) Give them a chance to show they have understood and will comply and if they don't - stop riding with them.
Stan, Stichy, Roadyy and 1 others like this.
     
    05-02-2013, 05:26 PM
  #3
Green Broke
Foxhunter put it as simple and to the point as it needs to be. I can only add that I agree with the advice.
     
    05-02-2013, 05:57 PM
  #4
Banned
Definitely agree too-- I always explain why when asked.. it just feels like the person doesnt care about the answer and just wants to be a smarty pants.. or when I say 'its not proper' they do what they were doin anyway-- drives me insane!

I feel like what theyre doin is a reflection of me- so for the sake of them not getting hurt along with their horse- I wish they werent so stubborn! Oh but if someone else says it- he listens.. I guess its just the simple fact that this person has zero respect for me and what I have to teach?


I wish I had a horse that was better trained than the one I have to ride or I would always ride alone. I don't like to have to explain 'why' 30 different ways.. its so annoying! Not just that but when I say 'your horse could step on that' he gets angry like I've ruined his whole day.. its hard for me to not say anything at all.. but I have to.. I can't let someone do somethin that I know will get them hurt.. is 'dont let your horse step on that' so harsh? Lol.
     
    05-02-2013, 07:54 PM
  #5
Weanling
If you don't want to ride with him, don't. Ride your horse your way and allow him to do the same. Unless you own his horse or are his trainer/instructor, it's not your job to teach him anything. And from what I've read, it seems like you are the one who is dependent on him since you do not ride alone, so why should he listen to you?
toto likes this.
     
    05-02-2013, 08:41 PM
  #6
Trained
I hardly ever ride with anyone because I often don't like "their rules" or "their way." I suspect they might not like "my way" either. So, goody for us - we don't ride together. And honestly, isn't every horse person is a "know it all?" Man, we are one snobby bunch in general. (Emphasis on "general - nobody should get their knickers in a knot.)

I don't wait for other people to mount up. Sheesh. Teach your horse to stand still. You seem to be adamant that you must be the leader and he is adamant not to follow. Maybe he thinks you're unreasonable too. Riding with anyone or a group means everyone has to find a place in the group. If any individual can't or won't then that person should stay behind. If there are only two of you, it means you can't ride together.

Find someone else to ride with, or go out alone.
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    05-02-2013, 09:58 PM
  #7
Showing
I think it's all about attitudes, here. Maybe the less experienced rider doesn't realize how their actions are affecting you, and the fact they are whining about not being first is ridiculous... I wouldn't want to ride with someone who whines.

Also if something is bothering you, speak up. Say "Hey I would appreciate it if you would wait for me to mount up before taking off." or something on those lines.

Yes you feel frustrated but again speaking up will help. And not in a harsh way as to put them off, but a way that shows them that you are serious.

It's a communication issue to me.

Now if you have spoken to your riding partner and they are still whining and being a pain, then don't ride with them. Simple as that. Somethings have to be learned the hard way.

Why risk your safety if they aren't on board?
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    05-03-2013, 09:35 PM
  #8
Trained
Seems to me the OP is "whining" about not being the leader as much as the greenie is whining about having to lead. And the OP is "whining" about mounting up. Not trying to pick on the OP, just saying that there are two sides and why is it that one side is OK to complain and the other isn't? Maybe the two children can take turns and share playing leader. "I wanna" "No, I wanna" is what I read in this.

Okay, I realize that it's not just as clear cut as that with one rider being more seasoned than the other, but my train of thought is that if I know what I'm doing and my horse is behaving, then I'm all good. If the other person and horse isn't and they want to learn from me, I'll help. If not, God help them and I'll just enjoy my ride my way.

I don't see how this is risking safety if the OP's horse is stable and the OP is stable. Sounds like that isn't the case though in which case why ride with someone who is green?
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    05-04-2013, 02:13 AM
  #9
Banned
Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthernMama    
Seems to me the OP is "whining" about not being the leader as much as the greenie is whining about having to lead. And the OP is "whining" about mounting up. Not trying to pick on the OP, just saying that there are two sides and why is it that one side is OK to complain and the other isn't? Maybe the two children can take turns and share playing leader. "I wanna" "No, I wanna" is what I read in this.

Okay, I realize that it's not just as clear cut as that with one rider being more seasoned than the other, but my train of thought is that if I know what I'm doing and my horse is behaving, then I'm all good. If the other person and horse isn't and they want to learn from me, I'll help. If not, God help them and I'll just enjoy my ride my way.

I don't see how this is risking safety if the OP's horse is stable and the OP is stable. Sounds like that isn't the case though in which case why ride with someone who is green?



Dang! Havin a rough day? Lol.


I would just not ride with the person if I didnt live with the person.. trust me. And I did used to ride by my lonesome-- my horse died.. this is not my horse.. its the persons horse.



I find it rude to be ridin with someone and just hop on your horse and walk off.. why can't you wait for me to get on? Got a hot date? Lol.



Its rude to me because you're riding with me not by yourself. If were going to ride as a pair you should have the courtesy to wait for me to mount my steed.. why? Because this aint a competition to see who can mount and take off the fastest-- its a relaxin ride.. whats the hurry anyway? Do I smell? Lol.



If im ridin my horse I always think about the people around me and how my choices can affect them riding with me.. if someone can't get that concept they have no business on a horse in the first place.. juss sayin'





.
     
    05-04-2013, 03:29 AM
  #10
Started
Quote:
Originally Posted by toto    
Definitely agree too-- I always explain why when asked.. it just feels like the person doesnt care about the answer and just wants to be a smarty pants.. or when I say 'its not proper' they do what they were doin anyway-- drives me insane!

I feel like what theyre doin is a reflection of me- so for the sake of them not getting hurt along with their horse- I wish they werent so stubborn! Oh but if someone else says it- he listens.. I guess its just the simple fact that this person has zero respect for me and what I have to teach?


I wish I had a horse that was better trained than the one I have to ride or I would always ride alone. I don't like to have to explain 'why' 30 different ways.. its so annoying! Not just that but when I say 'your horse could step on that' he gets angry like I've ruined his whole day.. its hard for me to not say anything at all.. but I have to.. I can't let someone do somethin that I know will get them hurt.. is 'dont let your horse step on that' so harsh? Lol.

Here is how I would handle it. I would arrive earlier for our ride get tacked up first and in the saddle and as he begins to mount kick my horse on. When he complains just respond Oh I thought that's what is done Just following your lead. And smile
Foxhunter and toto like this.
     

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