teaching my teenager to ride - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 30 Old 09-01-2012, 08:36 PM Thread Starter
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teaching my teenager to ride

I am attempting to teach my 16 yr old daughter to ride. I plan on putting her in lessons, SOON. untill I can get her in, I've been trying to teach her the basics.
The first 2 days went well. Showed her where to place her legs, her hands, posture, heels down. I told her she can walk & try to trot, but nothing more. She needs to develope muscles & balance first.
well, thats where it all went downhill. If I take my eyes off her for a second, she's pushing him to canter. She can't keep balanced at a trot. She ends up almost laying across his neck & is yanking on the reins to get him to slow down.
I made her get off & explained that not only is she going to get hurt, she's going to hurt the horse. She HAS to listen to me. Well, that ended up in a big arguement. I'm just being mean & trying to ruin her fun. She thinks she knows what she's doing & want's me to leave her alone. Not happening! I want to put her on a lunge line so I can control things untill she gets a little knowlege under her, but she won't come near the horses when I try this. Right now she's telling my she wont do lessons cause "that's for babys".
Hubbys is of the opnion, let her crash & maybe she'll learn her lesson. I do not want her hurt or the horse. Right now, she is forbidden to ride untill she agrees to listen & respect my desisions.

Cowgirl up!
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post #2 of 30 Old 09-01-2012, 08:44 PM
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Personally, I don't think she should be allowed to ride until she can respect you and what you have to say. Horses are not playthings. They are not cars and there are more important things than going "FAST!!!1111" and I would tell her that.

You are absolutely right in forbidding her to ride right now. I mean no offense to you or your daughter, but her saying lessons "are for babies" really makes me think she has an immature attitude, at least about this.

If you let her ride now, I think that would be a bad lesson for her and it would just show her that riding is a given, and not something you earn.

Until she respectfully asks for lessons, or for you to put her on a lunge line (or something like that) I wouldn't let her ride. Just my opinion.
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post #3 of 30 Old 09-01-2012, 08:46 PM
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I would not allow her near the horses until she has an attitude change.
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post #4 of 30 Old 09-01-2012, 08:48 PM
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I personally would just send her off to someone. Forget teaching her basics and let the instructor do that.

This is coming from a teenager. Its just easier for a teenager to listen to a different person than their own parent because they just want to defy what they have been told to do.
Plus emotions aren't connected with the lessons. On the other hand, I think your daughter doesn't deserve to ride until she gets over that attitude.
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post #5 of 30 Old 09-01-2012, 08:53 PM
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The riding needs to stop until she agrees to lessons. It's not worth hurting or souring the horse over her attitude.
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post #6 of 30 Old 09-01-2012, 08:54 PM
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I'm mean I guess. I'd stick a helmet on her, I'd say "sorry for treating you like a baby cuz you're a big girl!", "make a deal" with her to let her demonstrate her ability to control the horse. I might insist on a lungline "for my own peace of mind because you know mama is a worrywart", then I'd watch her fall. She's not recognizing the potential for danger and a good solid scare would either make her respect the horses or give them up. She's likely to fall anyway eventually and that's about as controlled as a setting for a fall as you can get.

* I'm often reading and posting from mobile and Siri loves to make a mockery of the English language.
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post #7 of 30 Old 09-01-2012, 09:03 PM
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You are right for being firm with your daughter. She probably doesn't understand yet how careful you need to be around horses, or how they are more delicate than sometimes people realize. She probably thinks that riding is much easier than it really is, and doesn't realize that she needs to start from the basics. Cantering without experience can be dangerous, even walking without experience can be dangerous... there are too many factors and it is too easy for something to go wrong. Just remember not to get mad, remember to keep your cool, but don't EVER agree to make your daughter happy if you realize it could put her or your horse in danger.

God bless, englishaqh (:
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post #8 of 30 Old 09-01-2012, 09:25 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks everybody, I'm just so mad at her right now. I've been doing lessons becuase while I had a good knowledge of the basics, I did not know how to apply them. When she was 9, she watched me come off a run away horse. knocked out, broken bones, bleeding & I've told her that could easily be her if she doesn't listen & learn. So, I'm standing my ground, she may not come to the barn at all! My 8 yr old is eating up all the "extra" time mommy has to show him stuff. HE thinks walking circles around me on the lunge line is fun!

Cowgirl up!
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post #9 of 30 Old 09-01-2012, 09:49 PM
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When my kid doesn't listen, her trainer makes her run laps, with her horse trotting in hand in showmanship position. Your kiddo wouldn't make it at our barn. I'd put her in lessons with the biggest drill sergeant I could find. Or....turn her loose and let her fail, and she will.
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post #10 of 30 Old 09-02-2012, 05:26 AM
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Hmm its hard.

I want to jump on board the bad teenager wagon but then I think back to when I was a teenager.

I probably had shocking behaviour too, and there isn't really an excuse but I remember my mother me telling me to do things (completely reasonable) and then me for some reason thinking that they were terribly unreasonable, or that she was wrong or whatever just because she was my mother. She didn't even end up teaching me to drive because we argued constantly, I ended up going to lessons.

The thing is, your teenager is being unkind, but maybe in her head she doesn't think so. And if her perception of things is off you cracking down and everything is just going to make her even more bitter.

I'd probably say to her something like "It seems me teaching you isn't really working so well but I'm willing to get you weekly lessons if you want to ride but its up to you, let me know what you want" and then just leave it at that.

And don't despair, I think most teenagers grow out of being a pain, I did
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