I have two horses one 20 yr old TB who is a pain in the butt! Lol but I love her. She wouln't spook at anything which I really like it gave me confidence. BUT and that's a big BUT she is very mareish and very few ppl can ride her, she is so heard bound I can't even ride out of the yard without another horse and even when the other horses come sometimes( randomly) she freaks about just leaving home. She trailered very nice then all of a sudden she stopped and began to rear and wouldn't go in. When we started cantering she used to kick the boards out in the arena...I have her retired now and I won't sell her for the world becuase she is so tempermental. I find that even tho my experience with her wasn't wonderful it was a great learning experience. Now I know how to deal with and avoid heard bound issue, attitude, etc.
My other horse is a 3 yr old QH/Paint who acts liek he's 20 yrs old 90% of the time and we were ment to be partners. He's funny he'll run over to me in the pasture but then when we go to walk inside he protests (very annoying!!) lol. He also has a hate for dogs which I find strange I'm always affraid he's going to hurt someones dog one day. He also randomly bucks which I don't get? ( had him checked and everything) But on the positive side he is very friendly to people and is very smart! He picks up on most things on the 2nd lesson. I will have him till he dies. I've ridden so many horses (had to lease) and even with his issues he is my fav! Lol
All I can say is good for you for not giving up!!! I know what it's like being scared and it's no fun! All horses come with good and bad traits and if it's the right horse for you you'll end up not even being bothered by thier bad traits. I would say to gain your confidence back get a older beginner horse ( I know your not a very beginner!) but you can still learn all kinds of things on a beginner horse. Good luck and I hope it all works out for you!