Things you may not want to say around non-Horse people - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 20 Old 07-07-2012, 07:12 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 13,588
• Horses: 2
Talking Things you may not want to say around non-Horse people


Do you like my breast collar?
His sheath was really dirty, but I cleaned it.
In the winter, his Ass gets really hairy.
Don't jump on him, sit down gently.
She wants to breed to my stud.
There's nothing like 17 hands between you legs!
Can I pet your Ass?
He had a bad attitude, so we castrated him.
I wanted to breed to her stud, but he's all booked this season.
We'll be breeding tonight, want to watch?
He's really good at walking and pooping at the same time.
He didn't try to run away when we drove the nails into his feet.
She bites her baby if it behaves badly.
She's on a new diet, she's only eating grass.
If he's not good, just grab his lip and twist it.
When I'm done riding him, you can have a turn.
Don't worry, if he pulls her teats too hard she'll bite him.
He's much better if you ride him with a crop.
I jumped 4 feet high yesterday.
She's got a really nice, big, square butt.
What color are her gums?
The mother is black and the father is white, and the baby came out black and white.
He tries to kick me when I put my hand in his sheath.
Don't worry, it's normal for his mouth to foam.
All of her babies have been sold overseas.
I know she's going to have a baby soon because her butt is soft.
Her baby started walking about 20 minutes after birth.
Her body was covered in 4-inch long hair, but I clipped it off.
He has trouble mounting her because she's so tall.
She likes to roll in the dirt after her bath.
He has 23 kids by different mothers.
He goes outside in just a blanket.
He was about 6 months old when we branded him with an iron.
I have to use a stool to mount him.
If he's spilling his food on the ground, he might need a dentist.
I was listening to his gut sounds last night...

Anyone have some others?


May all your Trails be happy and safe ones

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post #2 of 20 Old 07-07-2012, 07:26 AM
Join Date: Jul 2012
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nothing like 850kg's between your legs under full control of a soft hand
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post #3 of 20 Old 07-07-2012, 09:59 AM
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: southern Arizona
Posts: 9,569
• Horses: 4
I can't get her to work without kicking her a few times...

We've got a deal: I get to ride her, and in exchange she gets food!
OliviaMyee, fkcb1988 and Tracer like this.

"Make the right thing easy and the wrong thing...well, ignore it mostly."
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post #4 of 20 Old 07-07-2012, 11:26 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Western Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,789
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I can't say I can think of any at the moment, but it's really funny when your boyfriend refuses to read anymore after, "He tries to kick me when I put my hand in his sheath." lmao

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post #5 of 20 Old 09-13-2012, 07:03 AM
Join Date: Aug 2012
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Oh my, these made my day!
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post #6 of 20 Old 09-13-2012, 07:07 AM
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NSW, Australia
Posts: 8,167
• Horses: 3
Baha these are hillarious!

Hes so soft in my hands!

Cross Country- The act of hurling yourself and your equine partner at a stationary object with poise and grace while attempting to survive...
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post #7 of 20 Old 09-13-2012, 02:22 PM
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 6,672
• Horses: 12
Bahaha!! That was awesome!

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post #8 of 20 Old 12-13-2012, 04:35 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Massachusetts, USA
Posts: 2,593
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oh this made my day!!!! hahahahahaha

You may be out of my sight, but never out of my mind. ~RIP Angel
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post #9 of 20 Old 12-13-2012, 09:26 PM
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Mineral Wells,TX
Posts: 315
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~Being on the back of a horse is my idea of heaven!~
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post #10 of 20 Old 12-13-2012, 09:41 PM
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Central Western NSW, Australia
Posts: 1,120
• Horses: 4
'My butt hurts from riding so much'
'I could hardly walk afterwards'
'Give him a treat and he's all over you'

I guess we horse riders really do seem like a weird bunch to the outsiders...
SouthernTrails and Herdof2 like this.
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