I think part of the problem is that you think the horse is not where she "should" be. Should be based on what? Horses are individuals and have their own agendas. They to at their own pace. You could put 100 horses of like age and breeding and they will all have their own quirks, strengths and weaknesses. It would be like putting you up against another person your age and comparing you both in one skill. Are all six year old kids at the same level in everything? No.
Accept your horse for who she is : a horse that is still learning jumping. You have nothing to compare her to since she's an individual.
Now from a personal perspective..
There are occasions when I simply don't want to ride. I still enjoy my horses company and we go hang out. I may not ride on a nice day but we'll go for a bike in the woods instead (I lead him). I'll free lunge him or do liberty work or teach him stupid tricks. I may not be riding him but he's still my buddy.
Do you have a friendly relationship like that with your horse? Maybe you're not clicking?
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