Thinking about throwing in the towel - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #11 of 20 Old 01-25-2013, 06:05 PM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 5,332
• Horses: 1
I think part of the problem is that you think the horse is not where she "should" be. Should be based on what? Horses are individuals and have their own agendas. They to at their own pace. You could put 100 horses of like age and breeding and they will all have their own quirks, strengths and weaknesses. It would be like putting you up against another person your age and comparing you both in one skill. Are all six year old kids at the same level in everything? No.

Accept your horse for who she is : a horse that is still learning jumping. You have nothing to compare her to since she's an individual.

Now from a personal perspective..
There are occasions when I simply don't want to ride. I still enjoy my horses company and we go hang out. I may not ride on a nice day but we'll go for a bike in the woods instead (I lead him). I'll free lunge him or do liberty work or teach him stupid tricks. I may not be riding him but he's still my buddy.

Do you have a friendly relationship like that with your horse? Maybe you're not clicking?
Posted via Mobile Device
Northernstar and PunksTank like this.
DancingArabian is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #12 of 20 Old 01-25-2013, 06:14 PM
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: A good place
Posts: 5,960
• Horses: 0
More than 2 years? You have a lot of patience.

I don't know your particular horse, but that is an exceedingly long time. I hope you find something with horses that brings back that early excitement you must have had at one time.
boots is offline  
post #13 of 20 Old 01-25-2013, 06:18 PM
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,277
• Horses: 4
There's nothing wrong with selling a horse you don't click with. There's nothing wrong with selling a horse you can't handle or don't enjoy having to deal with. But if you love the horse and feel the horse may someday be what you want - it's up to you, is it worth the energy or would you rather just look to buy something that can suit your needs right now? It sounds to me like this horse is perfect for you - she just needs more time and more practice.

Not cantering jumps is incredibly common - most horses I know still opt to fall down to a trot a few strides before the jump - unless strongly urged otherwise. I believe the reason is because they haven't got full understanding of their strides/spacing/timing yet. Often if you spend a few weeks doing trot and canter ground poles you'll find your horse becomes MUCH more aware of where their feet are and how to adjust their strides to match up. I think practice is all that's needed.
When you say you can't complete a whole course - why not? Does she get too over eager or out of control? What exactly does she do. I see many people mistake horses terrified of jumping with a horse who 'loves' it. They say, 'my horse gets so excited after we jump, he gets real forward' - but I find it's more because the horse doesn't have full control of timing and they get frantic after the jump. So maybe he needs more work on timing and control. Do you practice trotting and canter poles? Maybe do a jump course with all ground poles or raised ground poles at the canter to see how he does with that.
PunksTank is offline  
post #14 of 20 Old 01-25-2013, 06:29 PM
Green Broke
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 3,015
• Horses: 3
DancingArabian is right on target in my book! But I'm not into jumping/showing/eventing either..... I own two lovely registered mares, and enjoy their company every single day whether I'm riding them or not. Actually, I do so much else with them in our interactions during feed times/pasture chores/groundwork/or simply just hanging out with them, I feel immensely fulfilled! The photo in my avatar was taken just yesterday in 9 deg (farenheit) temps - after a good brushing, we walked down to the mailbox, (a lengthy walk!), did groundwork, and they just enjoyed the rare sunshine and chilled out while I did chores....I must say that the peace and serenity in these kinds of days are worth all the money in the world. :)
PunksTank likes this.
Northernstar is offline  
post #15 of 20 Old 01-26-2013, 07:29 AM
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,110
• Horses: 1
As others here have said, if it's not fun then sell the mare and get a horse you can enjoy. Life is too darn short (and money too darn hard to come by) to waste it on a horse that you aren't having fun with!

We grow too soon old, and too late smart.
DimSum is offline  
post #16 of 20 Old 01-26-2013, 08:29 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Some times Llanelian - North wales, sometimes Hull in East Yorkshire (UK)
Posts: 3,679
• Horses: 5
Question for you. Your trainer thinks the horse is too much for her but not too much for you? that is very wrong

Either the horse is too much for both of you but your instructor wanted to unload a problem and make money on it


you are more advanced than your instructor which begs the question why is she your instructor.

sorry but if my horse is too much for an instructor then the instructor is not good enough for me.
brittabam and Celeste like this.

RIDE your horse FORWARDS and keep him STRAIGHT

faye is offline  
post #17 of 20 Old 01-26-2013, 09:10 AM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Georgia USA
Posts: 6,814
• Horses: 1
I didn't pick up on that conflict that Faye just cleared up. Maybe you should keep the horse and trade the instructor.

Oh, I just reread the first post. I think you did change instructors. Hmmm.

Carpe Diem!

Last edited by Celeste; 01-26-2013 at 09:13 AM.
Celeste is offline  
post #18 of 20 Old 01-26-2013, 09:22 AM
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 2,061
• Horses: 1
To do well with a horse in any equestrian discipline rider and horse eventually need to bond. Horses can be pickey and maybe there is something in your handling of the animal which is causing disharmony in it. You wrote earlier a thread describing problems which you are experiencing and that thread indicated that all was not well then.

Ex racehorses usually come cheap but the basic training of a race horse is at odds with how a sensitive riding horse needs to be brought on as a youngster .
All racehorses have to do is run fast in a straight line amid a mini herd of other horses. You need a horse which will carry you safely. Thorobreds tend to be intelligent and sharp - traits of character which come with the genes. They call for sensitive and sympathetic hands.

You are seemingly ambitious about what you want to achieve - in return for the money you have to pay out to keep the horse. You ask whether you should call it quits - maybe you should UNLESS you believe that you can bring the horse round - or you find another equestrian speciality which suits the temperament of the horse better and gives you some pleasure.

My guess is that your horse which presumably is still a youngster could do with some fundamental basic training which it did not get at the time of breaking to saddle for racing. Maybe going back to lunge work and classical training might bring the horse round but that will call for patience time persistence and knowledge on the part of the rider/trainer. Do you have the attitude to go down that route?

If the problems you are experiencing give rise to your raising your voice or using a whip or being sharp with the animal - then if I were in your position then I'd call it quits - if I could find a good new owner for the horse.

But if there was something in the horse which I liked then I'd go and find myself a dressage instructor rather than a jumping instructor.

Remember the horse dervish you know is better than the dervish you don't yet know.

But you choose.

Last edited by xxBarry Godden; 01-26-2013 at 09:25 AM.
xxBarry Godden is offline  
post #19 of 20 Old 01-26-2013, 10:23 AM
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Dallas, NC
Posts: 97
• Horses: 2
There is nothing wrong with selling a horse you aren't clicking with and take a break from horses all together.

I love horses, but they aren't the be all end all for me. If I got out of them I think it might be a bit of a relief, I own a boarding barn, and it's a lot of work, especially now that it's winter, so my perspective might be different than others. I know when I boarded my horse, I enjoyed the horse more as I could come out, love on her and go home. And if it was rainy, muddy and cold, I could just stay home!

Don't get me wrong, when the weather is beautiful and the trees are all in bloom and the barn and yard are spotless and the horses are grazing or laying in the sun and I'm in a chair relaxing, there is nothing better in the world! I don't slag on my duties in the bad weather, just appreciate the nice days better. :)

But anyway, I could take a break. I would miss them, but there would be no stopping me from later getting back into them. You could do the same, take a break if you want, be it for a month, a few years or the rest of your life!
Chardavej is offline  
post #20 of 20 Old 01-26-2013, 10:49 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 92
• Horses: 0
Wow, lots of food for thought. I first off want to thank the people that gave me a few words of encouragement. You have no idea how much that means, and it's starting to motivate me again.

To answer a few questions and feedback:
She canters over jumps with no problem, she just gets excited and gains speed. Since she if OTTB he is super heavy on the front end. I am working hard on strengthening the back end.

I think their is something to be said for the person who said that she may get anxious and need some work with timing when it comes to cantering jumps. She is a very anxious horse. For example I had tired to work on lead changes, when that happened she got so preoccupied with it and she knew that she needed to do it at certain times. Say when we are crossing the diagonal, that she would get all worked up into a tizzie. We had to take a step back from that and very gradually introduce it.

She needs more work at the canter period, carrying herself, and using her back end. Once she does that I think I can start reintroducing jumping at the canter.

To the person that brought up the whole trainer issue. In the beginning I needed a different trainer that had more experiance with the types of issues this horse had. I tried to move barns but it was very hard because we were friends and she took it personally. Luckly, I moved to a different state and had to find a new trainer. I think things would have been a lot different if I started with the trainer I have now. What it breaks down to is that we are having to start all over because I was misguided on what to do with her from the beginning.

I wouldn't say we have a bounding problem, it has just been a long road. I think she will get there and has the world of potential. I have come to the conclusion that it's frustrating because for the last two years I have been riding her a different way. Asking her for different things. Now I have to 180 how I have been riding her, and what I have been doing. It is frustrating and hard but in the end I think it will be 100% worth it.

I have decided I am going to stick with riding and keep the horse I have now. I want to thank everyone for all of their encouragement and knowledge. All of you are what helped me reach my decision. And keep me from making what may have been the worst decision of my life.

Thanks again everyone, I really appreciate it.
brittabam is offline  

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Thinking of Throwing an Offer On This Guy. PerchiesKisses Horse Pictures 8 11-02-2011 04:09 PM
Using a towel or cactus cloth for "finish" - someone enlighten me? tpup Horse Grooming 3 05-22-2011 09:01 AM
Leg Throwing rissaxbmth Horse Health 12 02-03-2010 03:24 AM
Kay, I'm Just THrowing This Out There Dodger Horse Tack and Equipment 2 06-09-2009 03:02 PM
New Towel Rant LadyDreamer General Off Topic Discussion 11 08-19-2008 11:25 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome