Somedays, I really wonder why no one hasn't locked me up in a sponge room yet. Mom jokes that every day I bring home a new wild tale, huge grin, and bruise/cut/break- I shorten her life another year. I sure hope she's wrong! XD
My job(s) at our barnare generally include beginner lessons, minor medical care for the horses (cuts, swollen legs, etc) and, ofcourse- horse 'tune up' and problem fixing. When one of the horses starts acting up, whether it's trying to run away with the kids, jump 5 foot rail fences, roll under saddle, decides that its tornado the whirlawind bronco, or it's a silly thing like refusing to walk on a leadline- everyone immediately starts calling Allyson. Why? I'm stupid enough to get on the horses when everyone else knows that they're accidents waiting to happen.
So yesterday, I'm tossed another mare, one that we bought very recently. Her problem? Running people into trees. I'm not kidding, this horse is like a tree magnet.
I assumed that whoever was riding her just wasn't controlling her properly, so I swing up and head for the trails. Alone. Smart, right? Yeah. Well, certain people's egos get a bit too big sometimes ;) haha, well trust me. I've learned my lesson. We start out at a trot (this mare, by the way, also has no brakes.) and I'm practically having sit so deep in the saddle to keep her at a medium pace that I feel like a centuar. I'm trotting along nice and happy and she's doing great (minus trying to break into a canter) so I let her speed up a bit. The trail is clear so I'm like ' eh, fine.' Well, very gradually- so slowly that I don't really even notice- Corona(the mare) starts drifting. And drifing. And drifting. Next thing I know, there's a tree right in front of us! I could swear it moved, it came up so fast. So, ofcourse- being the magnet she is- Corona bulldozes towards it, while I'm doing EVERYTHING I can to turn her. Shifting, using my legs, talking, using my reins...we were literally six inches away from that trunk before I got her to move. A few minutes later I let her start loping, since there aren't any trees near us. Wrong. Evidently I hadn't been on that trail in a while, because a minute later she speeds up considerable and I"m like 'hey now!' then I figure out why. She sees another tree. Right in the middle of the freaking trail. Immediately I start trying to change her direction/slow her, but the little brat grabs the bit in her teeth and runs straight towards it! Just as I was about to bail off (I could NOT get her to turn!) she does this crazy reining-horse turn, hits my leg on the tree- and runs my head into a branch. Yeah, I believe her owners now. She likes trees.
Two hours later the BO calls me over (by then I have a yummy red gash on my cheek, a scrape on my arm, and a sore leg) to ride one of our lesson horses who was being particularely marish. Being the ******ed person that I am, I agree to ride her and get some of her kinks out. Turns out, the kids were riding bareback that day, and she wanted to crowhop. Typical arabian mare. I hop on, urge her into a trot, and start doing serpentines. She's sluggish, but fine. I change directions, ask for a canter, and she suddenly gives me this insane bronco-horse buck. I go flying off, and land on my back. Luckily I'm fine. Get back on, try again. She's fine. We change directions again, and go back to trotting. By now I have like ten people watching me. The BO asks me to send her over a few jumps before I turn her over again, and I angle her towards a small bounce. She takes the first one fine (now keep in mind, I generally ride western, and I do not jump unless schooling xD) but on the second- SHE does a crazy reining horse move! What is with all of this reining today? She slides to a stop, bops me in he face with her head, changes her mind- and goes barreling over the jump- completely overjumping it and leaving me, ofcourse- in the dust. Eventually we did make it over the jumps and she was behaving, but not before everyone was laughing hysterically and I was feeling like I could take a whole bottle of Aleve.
But the day wasn't over. A few hours later, I'm taking some of our young kids on a trail walk with their miniature horses, and we're just going along- happy as can be. All of the minis are behaving and I'm actually thinking the rest of the day might go well when an armadillo family comes bolting across the trail. Most of our minis are fine with small critters, but one- Saidee- happened to decide that they were ferociouse monsters- and started dragging her walker down the trail at a canter. Crazy kid doesn't let go. So I'm running after the two of them, yelling at the kid to let go of his horse, dragging my exceptionally slow mini along- trying to catch up. He finally lets go and I check him, hand him my mare, and go after the loose mare who is now calmly munching on a bush a few yards away. I approach her calmly, thinking 'ok, this will be easy' and reach towards her lead rope. Quicker than I dont-know-what, she spins around and kicks me with both back legs in the thigh! OUCH. Ofcourse, I grab her and give her a couple of good whacks, make her lunge until she's puffing, etc etc- and we're on our way again. By now, I want to cry. I've been ran into two trees, I've fallen off of a LESSON horse twice, AND been kicked (for the first time) by a mini! Not my day.
So yeah ;) typical clumsy Allyson day was just magnified by like 100, and today I feel like I could just die. I have things that hurt that I didn't even know I had! But hey. Nothing's broke, right?
I really need a new hobby.
Bruise from being kicked- a few hours after getting it
Today. It goes all the way up my hip, but no one wants to see up there ;)