Trainer Trouble!! (Rant?) - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 61 Old 07-17-2012, 11:21 AM Thread Starter
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Exclamation Trainer Trouble!! (Rant?)

Okay ... I'll get started :p

First of all, I am really aiming this at adults. I'm a minor. And I need some advice on how to handle this situation. I know it's my inmaturity, but this situation just seems completely unfair to me.

Let's kick off with a little back-story. I go to the trainers, we will call her Beth, every day. My dad drops me off there on his way to work in the morning, she drops me off at home when we are done for the day. During school, I get off the bus there, and daddy picks me up on his way home. This has been going on for about 10 months. I help her out, sort of like a working student, and therefore I don't pay for lessons. I don't have set chores, more like she tells me to do something and I do it. In exchange, I ride the mules in lessons. Yes, mules, ride just like horses, diff. topic ;)

Along with giving me lessons, she also carts me around to shows, as far as into OK (I'm in KY). We pay her for gas, food, a few other small things, and pay for our class entries and Willie's office fees (the mule I ride.) This has been a good system for us, and both of us our happy with this.

I have been riding English for 8 years. Western only as long as I've been with Beth. Therefore, we had to buy a bunch of Western clothes that I will never use again after riding the Mules. This is NOT a problem, I know it had to be done ... just wasn't overjoyed :) But this isn't the issue I'm getting to ...

So we get all this stuff, right? And at first she seems happy. Took us a while to get the right type of pants I needed, but it finally got done. We floated on a good note for a good long while.

Then we come to this show. It's our National Show, our biggest of the year. So I get everything steamed, hung up in my garmant bag, tailored my hunt coat, got some more pants ... The whole deal. I get there, and for whatever reason, Beth is *extremely* mad. She accuses me of not ironing the clothes. I tell her that no, we don't have an iron, but we did steam anything. She tells me I'm lying, and that she was sick of it. Ugh.

So I go into Showmanship with my 'unsteamed' clothing. I get 3rd out of 5, so I was not really all that overjoyed, but not really mad. Showmanship has never been my strong suit ;) I leave the ring and Beth tells me the reason I lost was because I looked like sh** in the ring. Yep, those exact words. She has told me that before, along with telling me my horse rides like sh**. Another topic ... I was POed about that, and Cowboy hasn't been back since. Anywho ...

Still ticked off at me, she tells me that I'm lazy. That I'm ungreatful. She tells me that if I'm not willing to put in the energy the sport takes, maybe I should just stop riding the mules with her. She also informs me that since I had been riding better, "his stops are worse, his spins are terrible, and he can't guide like he used to." (And I quote!) So essentially, she tells me I'm ruining her mule. That makes me feel just dandy on the inside.

Wait a few hours ... Willie suddenly pulls up lame. Hmm ... Lame isn't the right word ... off. He's off on his right front. She tells me maybe it's just too many classes for Willie, whom is 21. Yet another hint I should stop riding. She tells me that she just feels like I am just floating around in a daze, and I don't care anymore, since I didn't notice right away Willie was off. Then the big kicker. She has told me before the show that the National was her favorite.
She tells me now that I ruined her Shelbyville from being aggravated at me.

So now I'm just 10 kinds of depressed. I'm 5 hours from home, stuck with Beth whom is acting like she hates me, with one more day of showing before we go home. And the 5 hour truck ride? Is scaring me to death. I call my daddy, simply upset as I could be. I do cry :/ Oops. My parents did tell me before I left that if I ever feel like I am being talked down too harshly I could just call and they would get me. (remember the showmanship incident? How that had happened before? That's why.)We talk for a good solid 20 minutes. I do ask him to come get me. He says he will, but no more showing the mules if he does. I say fine, because I was sick of feeling out of place. Unfortunatly, Beth finds me crying, and says I can't go home. Wonderful.

The next day isn't quite as bad. Except for the fact she tells me not to come back and ride anymore. Doesn't suggest, tells. I'm not happy. I love riding. But I can't do anuthing about it.

After a fake-heartfelt apology two days later, she says I can come back. But I can still feel the resentment.

WOAH! Cookies to you for reading the novel! I need some help though :( What do I do? Find a new trainer? Try to stick it out? How do I please her? Can I please her? Thank you all :)


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* Because They Are Responsible *
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post #2 of 61 Old 07-17-2012, 11:27 AM
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Find someone else who will actually teach you and not belittle you.

It's not worth it if you are miserable.
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post #3 of 61 Old 07-17-2012, 11:29 AM
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She sounds kind of abusive and definitely a lot too much moody. I'd go elsewhere. Her barn isn't the only barn out there.
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post #4 of 61 Old 07-17-2012, 11:30 AM
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I would leave. Riding should be something you enjoy. You dont need someone cutting you down. Find somewhere else.
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This is what happens when you have democrats in office
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post #5 of 61 Old 07-17-2012, 11:30 AM
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Time to find another barn and trainer. This relationship has run its course.

You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!
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post #6 of 61 Old 07-17-2012, 11:36 AM
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I agree with the above poster. I had a jerk of a trainer once to. He lasted about a month before I found a new one.

Get a new trainer.

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post #7 of 61 Old 07-17-2012, 11:36 AM
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I agree. Time to move on. Take what you've learned and the things you've accrued through showing with her and find a new place. You're young and willing to help - a lot of places like kids like you.
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post #8 of 61 Old 07-17-2012, 11:39 AM
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Go find a new trainer. A lot of trainers woud love to have a kid to help them out. I'm not even a trainer, but I have quite a few horses, and I would LOVE to have a kid come help out for the privilege of 'ruining' a 21 y.o. that probably should have been retired eons ago.

There are trainers who get a bug in their nether regions and start beating up their clients. The good news? She'd probably do it to an adult if she had one as a client. They tend to be particularly bad at shows. I had gone to a show with one, and mind you I wasn't riding just showing halter. At the show was a vendor and I bought a Western Pleasure Rail Shirt without consulting her first. This shirt was in my size, and on sale for $100 and was normally a $400 shirt and looks amazing with my horses, ALL of them. Anyway, she threw a wingding at me and got pretty abusive and of course, hated the 'hideous' shirt. Then she took off on a couple of the other clients at the show.

A/I've been showing for 30+ years and dressing myself for a lot longer.

B/I didn't take that kind of abuse from my mother when I was a kid, why on earth would I start now?

C/ She was just plain disrespectful of everyone because of her show nerves. Not my problem.

I stood up without saying a word and went and got my horses. I led them out of the barn and told my husband to please go home and get our truck and trailer ( I had let the trainer trailer up because it was cheaper than the gas for the truck would have been) and went over to another trainer and asked if they had a couple of spare stalls.

My trainer followed, hollering and asking what I was doing. I told her I was taking my ugly, pitiful, ill trained horses (oooops, whose fault would THAT be?) home and was not coming back. I understand the after they got home more than 1/2 of the horses left her barn. I just got mad enough that I didn't wait til we got home.

That hideous shirt? I still have it, still show in it right up to the regional level and I still LOVE it and hers were the only negative words I've ever heard about the shirt. I now have amazing trainers for the same amount of money (4 years later) and I'm much happier!
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Last edited by Dreamcatcher Arabians; 07-17-2012 at 11:41 AM.
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post #9 of 61 Old 07-17-2012, 11:41 AM
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This doesn't sound like its about your immaturity, it sounds like its about hers. Find a different trainer if at all possible.
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post #10 of 61 Old 07-17-2012, 11:41 AM Thread Starter
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Thank you to those who shared their opinions :) I just feel like maybe she wasn't being that bad, maybe it was just me? I needed to hear from others :/

The only problem is, lessons here are free. Money is *extremely* tight for our family right now. Like, we need 2000 we don't have right now. There is a stable that is close that I -really- want to go to, but we can't afford lessons :/ Even just one a week. The barn offers group lessons for 30 bucks, which is what we would do. I know it's cheap, but we ... can't afford that :( Not now. Dad said that the earliest we could do it would be September. 2 months feels like forever with no lessons x.x I do have my own sweet ponies, but I like having guided instruction too.

~ When I Die, Remember Me By My Horses ~
* Because They Are Responsible *
.: For Letting Me Live :. (c) xJumperx
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