Trainer Trouble!! (Rant?) - Page 3 - The Horse Forum

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post #21 of 61 Old 07-17-2012, 12:41 PM
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I would have your parents talk to her
Or you should change trainers
Good luck

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post #22 of 61 Old 07-17-2012, 12:41 PM
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Sounds like this woman acted very badly. There is no excuse for tearing someone down like that. Imo it is likely that you didn't do anything wrong...sounds like she was having personal problems and took them out on you.

This woman may be giving you lessons but they aren't free-you are working to pay her. That isn't free IMO. On top of that she is tearing you down emotionally and mentally. That in the long run is going to cause you to doubt yourself. That will be more damaging than anything else this woman is doing. I can tell you that from personal experience!
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post #23 of 61 Old 07-17-2012, 12:56 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you, everybody, for all of our super valuable opinions :) And to those that come. I have called the other center nearby - no awnser, so I'll be waiting for the return call! Left a voicemail, and going to scheduale an appt. To come out and watch a lesson, and tour the barn
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post #24 of 61 Old 07-17-2012, 01:05 PM Thread Starter
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Though I have no idea how to tell 'Beth' I'm done. My mom's suggestion doesn't sound ideal...

We are done.
Why?
Because your a stupid fat ____ with no ____ goodwill. Go ____ yourself.

Yea, bad idea XD

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post #25 of 61 Old 07-17-2012, 01:08 PM
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LOL! You've got a good mom there. You can do it; you don't have to be so explicit but just tell her you don't want to work with her anymore. You can tell her why, if you want (the 'damage' is already done, as in, it won't make her opinion of you any worse, lol--not your fault). Or you can simply go home now and just don't contact her ever again! That's the easy way
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post #26 of 61 Old 07-17-2012, 01:11 PM
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Or you could just 'break up' with her, lol. "I don't think this is working out." Or, you could say you want to pursue other areas of horsemanship (even if you don't). That option might get a little sketchy though. I'd go with breaking up, telling it like it is, or just cutting her off once you go home (when you do actually go home).
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post #27 of 61 Old 07-17-2012, 01:16 PM Thread Starter
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I am home from National, btw :) I have since gone back to her house twice now (Did I mention we are neighbors? Don't know if that changes things xD) And both times she still lectured me :/ I was thinking of telling her we should take a break for a little while, so that we don't get to the point where we aren't speaking anymore. Tell her some stuff she wants to hear ... and just not call back :p This really is kinda hard though :/ We have had some fun times, and It'll be wierd not going back..

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post #28 of 61 Old 07-17-2012, 01:20 PM
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If I were you in this situation I might try to turn her words against her (not in a mean way). As in, if she lectures you about things like "ruining" her mules, and her show experiences, you could convince her that maybe you and her working together aren't a good fit. In a sense, tell her she's 'right' and get the hell out of there. If that doesn't sound good, perhaps the 'break' thing may be your best option (you're there after all and know in more detail what's going on) :)
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post #29 of 61 Old 07-17-2012, 01:43 PM Thread Starter
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That sounds good, thank you

I just got a call back from the new center - we take a tour and talk next Wed. At 5:00!! Yay
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post #30 of 61 Old 07-17-2012, 02:20 PM
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Good! Go for it at the new place and see what they have to offer.

As for your current problem, since you are neighbors you kind of do need to say something. I am very blunt and direct, so I'd tell her straight out that a trainer making me so miserable at a show that I cried and had to call my father to pick me up was not acceptable. PERIOD, EVER. And that I would not be coming back for further training. I'd say it nicely, and then I'd leave immediately before she goes into a tirade. I'd also have my parents with me as back up in case she does go off. But bottom line, I'd say what I needed to say and I'd get out of there.

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