"A trainer won't help your confidence"...? - The Horse Forum

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post #1 of 84 Old 08-29-2011, 10:40 AM Thread Starter
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"A trainer won't help your confidence"...?

I feel done...I just don't want to be

One last shot...need some advice

Basically, because I don't feel like explaining everything AGAIN, if anyone is interested, there are my last two threads on this same subject.

Basically, I have very poor confidence and am considering whether or not to sell my horse. Before I do, I really wanted to get lessons from a good trainer to try and work through my issues so that I won't have to sell my lovely horse.

I finally spoke to my dad, told him I had the trainer's number, and he said I could try her, but that she wouldn't be able to do much for my fear. He said that it was up to me to overcome this mental block and get myself over being scared and unconfident.

I was so sure I was going to take lessons and that she would help me and I would get over my confidence problems...and now, after what dad said, I'm not so sure. I know that I am definitely not going to be able to do anything by myself, as it already has been that I go out day after day and only get worse and worse, but I'm kind of starting to believe him. Is it true that the trainer will be unable to help me? Is this confidence something you can't be taught? If that's the case, then I should just sell now, and stop riding altogether because I'm not brave enough.

And now I'm nervous about calling the trainer. It's been over a week since I've last rode my horse...there's no point keeping her when I can't ride her or provide her with a strong leader. She deserves better.



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post #2 of 84 Old 08-29-2011, 10:44 AM
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A trainer CAN help you get over your fears.

Yes, most of it's up to you, but a good trainer will know when to push and when to leave you alone.

Having an experienced person there to watch and help makes a big difference.

You want the truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!
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post #3 of 84 Old 08-29-2011, 10:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AllThePrettyHorses View Post
I finally spoke to my dad, told him I had the trainer's number, and he said I could try her, but that she wouldn't be able to do much for my fear. He said that it was up to me to overcome this mental block and get myself over being scared and unconfident.

I was so sure I was going to take lessons and that she would help me and I would get over my confidence problems...and now, after what dad said, I'm not so sure. I know that I am definitely not going to be able to do anything by myself, as it already has been that I go out day after day and only get worse and worse, but I'm kind of starting to believe him. Is it true that the trainer will be unable to help me? Is this confidence something you can't be taught? If that's the case, then I should just sell now, and stop riding altogether because I'm not brave enough.

And now I'm nervous about calling the trainer. It's been over a week since I've last rode my horse...there's no point keeping her when I can't ride her or provide her with a strong leader. She deserves better.
Call the trainer. Your dad is correct but he left out a critical piece of advice. The trainer won't do it - YOU will help YOU get over the issues but s/he will be able to point you in the right direction.

It might not take one lesson, might not take a month but it certainly can happen! A good trainer will help you piece things together.
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post #4 of 84 Old 08-29-2011, 10:48 AM
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A trainer should be able to help you through that, and tell you what you do when your horse does something and how to handle situations. What are you exactly scared of when you're riding? Falling off? Maybe learning how to do groundwork and get respect from the horse on the ground would help build your confidence in the saddle?

If there are no horses in heaven... im not going.
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post #5 of 84 Old 08-29-2011, 10:49 AM
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Please call the trainer and be honest with them about your fears.

A good trainer will be able to help you help yourself.
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post #6 of 84 Old 08-29-2011, 11:37 AM
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It depends on the trainer. I'd like to say all will help with that but its not true. Unfortunately to be a trainer a person doesn't really need to prove any people skills, and one person will teach something differently to another. I trainer who specialises in young horses, or dressage or something might not be as good for you as someone who focuses on teaching people rather than teaching concrete information.

But there are many trainers out there who can help you get better. There is a mental block that you need to get past but you don't know how to do that, no one expects you to know something you have never done. That is why you get help so you are taught things to do in situations that will help you regain control and handle horses safely and effectively.

Explain to your father that you don't know how to get better at something you have never done, and you need someone to teach you.
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post #7 of 84 Old 08-29-2011, 11:57 AM
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The RIGHT coach will help, the wrong one will make it worse.

What you need is not so much a coach that can teach you how to ride with extensive knowledge in riding but one that can inspire courage in you.

Only you can make that leap but the right coach can shorten the distance from one ledge to the next.
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post #8 of 84 Old 08-29-2011, 01:21 PM
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The good trainer helps. Really. Another thing to consider you may ask trainer to ride first half of the lesson with you riding 2nd half (if it's a private lesson, of course, and trainer is OK about it).

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass: it's about learning to dance in the rain..."

"When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves."

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours."
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post #9 of 84 Old 08-29-2011, 02:19 PM
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I had the same problem once upon a time. A good trainer can make a world of difference.

Once you get confident enough to ride without your trainer around, you need to ride often. That is the thing IMO that helps the most.
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post #10 of 84 Old 08-29-2011, 02:53 PM
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I agree with the rest. Its not easy and will not be easy to relax. But with someone there to encourage you and help you, will make all the difference. And it makes a big difference when its the right person helping. What else do you have to do but ask for help from someone? It will only take time but if you are willing to work hard you can grow from this and learn what to do in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable. Good luck.
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