Well if you remember the last time I posted AttackJack had violated my neighbor's mare while she was fouled in my driveway.
I'm not sure who was madder, the mare or the owner.
So I figured since she's had a couple days to cool off, I'd give her a call to tell her she owes me a stud fee for the donkey breeding. You could say she was mad (if you couldn't think of a stronger word). She quickly became very irrational and loud, then I guess her phone lost signal or the battery went dead.
I decided to take AttackJack to the neighbor's and train him to attack their cows (while they were gone to work). So I grabbed my donkey and shock collar and headed out. About mid-way through our session, I saw the mad woman that owes me a stud fee drive up and stop. I think she'd been drinking and she was still visibly upset. Told me if I was charging her a stud fee, she was charging me child support.
Before I continue, let me explain my donkey training philosophy. I believe you must make the signal/cue simple and easy to understand. Make the right thing comfortable and the wrong thing uncomfortable. Electricity is uncomfortable to donkeys. So that's why I use the shock collar. When I want the donk to attack, I simply hold the button down until he attacks. It might be 2 seconds, it might be 5 minutes. But the instant he attacks, I let off the button. It's simple pressure and release. The technique has worked flawlessly. Early in the week I went to the pawn shop in town and traded a Ninetendo and some 36" TSL Super Swamper mud tires for a mannequin. I wrapped the mannequin in 4 rolls of gorilla tape to make it more durable and bite-resistant. It's become a valuable donkey training device. Just hung it from a tree push that little button till I git the desired response!
So I'll get back to the story now. The big woman and I are standing in the gravel road and as the conversation becomes increasingly heated, I noticed AttackJack is sensing the tension. His little hooves are prancing in place and his long ears are pinned back. When the big lady stepped at me like she was challenging me to a duel, I distracted her by pointing at her right and hollering "FRENCH FRIES"!!! When she looked, I released the mighty AttackJack. He sprung from his little feet at her, grabbing the side of her fleshy neck with his teeth. The momentum of 183 pounds of flying donkey threw her to the ground hard. The ground vibrated under my feet as the donkey performed a seemingly choreographed stomp-dance on my large lady neighbor's lifeless body.
As quick as it started, it was over. In only a few days, my adorable pet donkey had become a fine-tuned fighting machine.