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Training a little donkey to attack

11K views 56 replies 25 participants last post by  Celeste 
#1 ·
I got a new project and I need some help. Last Friday I traded a **** dog and a used chainsaw for a miniature Jack. He probably weighs about 183 pounds. The thing is, he loves to fight. He's really aggressive to all animals, including dogs. He bites, kicks, and stomps at pretty much anything that moves. My horses have become terrified of him even though they weigh roughly 6 times as much as him. When he rolls up on them, they quiver and shake. I have actually seen him bite my big gelding and hang from his neck till he screamed. The scream must have hurt the donkey's big ears because he turned loose.

So I don't want to castrate the little guy. I was thinking I could train him to attack. It would be very useful and I came up with some great ideas already!

1. Teach him to go with me trail riding and keep rude horses out of my "bubble"

2. Keep mean dogs away from me and my horse while riding. (I have seen him drown a medium (about 58.5 pound) dog before)

3. Keep him in the back of my truck to protect it. Dogs are no good! They bark and run the criminals off, then you never know who was trying to rob you. Thieves would never expect a small donkey to grab them! No bark, no warning, just attack and hold them till you get there!!!

Anyone have tips or ideas? I want him to go when I say "ATTACK!!!" Also he can swim, is very quick on his feet, he knows how to hide in the bushes, and he WILL eat meat. (If that makes any difference)
Thanks
 
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#9 · (Edited)
Attack Jack Update

UPDATE>>>>>Ok I was very excited of the possibility of taking donk with me in my truck, so I stayed up all night fabricating tie-hooks and making him a little crash helmet and goggles. So this morning we made our maiden voyage to town to show off. He rode very well, leaning into curves, etc. But when we got to town we stopped at the fillin' station to air up my back tire. That's when things went horribly wrong.

I had to pull the air hose over the bed-sides(under attack jack's belly) to reach the flat tire. Turns out there was a leak in the hose that spewed poor donkey's belly. He evacuated the truck but was chained to the big toolbox. It came out with him and the unit became a donk-toolbox-air hose tornado spinning across the parking lot at lightning speed. Horrible crashing sounds echoed through the town as the tools and box crashed off the vehicles, soda machines, and gas pumps! He relentlessly kicked the toolbox with his front feet, but it wouldn't die. It just kept rattling and "chasing" him. It was one of the most spectacular wrecks I've had all week!!

Now keep in mind this is Sunday morning and all the church people were in town. I was very disappointed when nobody offered to help! They just looked at me like they never saw anything like that before. In fact, I didn't have ANY help until the city cop showed up. And he threatened to taser my Jack! An altercation ensued, and I got his taser. So some of these town folks are mad because their vehicles got a few "dents" and "scratches" but donkey was unharmed, thanks to his crash helmet and goggles!!!

So anyone know where I can git some donkey insurance?
 
#16 ·
Attack Jack update!!!!

After our episode Sunday we came home to re-group. I jumped attackjack out of the truck bed and tied him to the rearview mirror. Went inside to get some peanut brittle and Mountain Dew(attackjack loves it). As we were enjoying our mid-afternoon snack, I got a call from the city police station inviting me to NOT bring my donkey inside city limits ever.

So we're workin' over this bag of peanut brittle and I hear horses coming up the road. It's my neighbor and her riding buddy. Let me describe my neighbor.....She's a middle-aged caucasian which stands about 6'2 and her conformation is similar to a weeble-wobble (you know, weeble-wobble that won't turn over). She's usually dressed in a purple sweatsuit and it looks like Barney the cartoon dinosaur. Like her belly just kinda swims around her when she walks. She rides a 13 hand starve-gutted buckskin mare that's always in heat. When I see her comin', I always think she should get off and let the horse ride awhile. Her riding partner is about 5'2 and weighs 20 pounds. I call her "Anorexia Amber" So Amy rides an enormous gray gelding with a very strong flight instinct. Amber calls him "spirited", but that's just her way of saying he's a RUNAWAY! All four legs are permanently scarred and calcified from running through fences. He's equally lame on a four legs, so he travels sound.

CONTINUED.......
 
#17 ·
So they ride up to the house to say hi. I notice "Barney" has a little yipyip dog on the saddle with her. It was one of those skillet-face Pekineese little dogs. Never stops barking. Nobody will go to their house because of this dog. So they stop and get off their horses to visit. Barney TIES THE DOG TO THE SADDLE HORN!!! With about a 10 foot rope I might add.

Knowing that a wreck was imminent, I asked Anorexic Amber if she needed to borrow my pistol to stop her horse in case he decided to perform one of his famous high-speed evacuations. She didn't laugh. Needless to say, the lap-dog-tied-to-the-saddle-horn idea soon turned ugly. The energetic little dog ran around and around the little mare's hind legs until he ran out of rope. The mare realized she was fouled and the wreck began. She kicked up with both back feet and bounced the dog into the air. But he was wrapped good and came hard right back into her legs. This began a horrible sequence. Every time the horse kicked, the dog sprung back and hit the back of her legs. Soon the mare was kicking at the speed of about 4 beats per second. It looked like the toy I used to have as a kid that was a wooden paddle with an elastic string and rubber ball.

Attack Jack had behaved pretty well till this point. But he does like action. He pulled hard on the lead rope and the rearview mirror failed. When I realized he was loose, I knew what he was gonna do next. So I did some quick thinking and figgered I could take advantage of the situation since he was gonna attack anyway. If I gave him the cue at the right time, he'd understand. So right before he nailed the dog, I yelled "ATTACK"!!!


CONTINUED.......
 
#18 · (Edited)
Attack Jack's first initial strike was a spectacular leap and mid-air pit-bull-style grab on the pup. For an instant, he was in mid-air with the dog in his mouth, swinging from the mare's hind legs as she kicked. Soon the dog collar broke and the pooch was free. But not for long! As the little dog scrambled for freedom, the donkey pounced at him like a cheetah. He didn't stop until the dog quit moving. I was both sad and proud at the same time.

As we turned our attention from the dog, we noticed the mare was still fouled. She was free from the puppy, but the rope was wrapped tight. And she was fighting too violently for us to run in and cut the rope. Soon she tripped and fell on her side. Donkeys are opportunistic creatures, and attack jack knew what he needed to do next. He had that ole mare bred before we could stop him. Bred her laying flat on her side with her back legs hobbled together against her will.

In the meantime, the big runaway gelding had lost his mind and ran off, busted through the , out the other side, crashed a fence and got tangled in 4 strands of gaucho wire. As I led my donkey back to the pasture, I heard Anorexia Amber yell, "Hey, you still got that pistol?"




He looks proud of himself, huh?
 
#23 ·
Well if you remember the last time I posted AttackJack had violated my neighbor's mare while she was fouled in my driveway.

I'm not sure who was madder, the mare or the owner.

So I figured since she's had a couple days to cool off, I'd give her a call to tell her she owes me a stud fee for the donkey breeding. You could say she was mad (if you couldn't think of a stronger word). She quickly became very irrational and loud, then I guess her phone lost signal or the battery went dead.

I decided to take AttackJack to the neighbor's and train him to attack their cows (while they were gone to work). So I grabbed my donkey and shock collar and headed out. About mid-way through our session, I saw the mad woman that owes me a stud fee drive up and stop. I think she'd been drinking and she was still visibly upset. Told me if I was charging her a stud fee, she was charging me child support.

continued......
 
#26 ·
Before I continue, let me explain my donkey training philosophy. I believe you must make the signal/cue simple and easy to understand. Make the right thing comfortable and the wrong thing uncomfortable. Electricity is uncomfortable to donkeys. So that's why I use the shock collar. When I want the donk to attack, I simply hold the button down until he attacks. It might be 2 seconds, it might be 5 minutes. But the instant he attacks, I let off the button. It's simple pressure and release. The technique has worked flawlessly. Early in the week I went to the pawn shop in town and traded a Ninetendo and some 36" TSL Super Swamper mud tires for a mannequin. I wrapped the mannequin in 4 rolls of gorilla tape to make it more durable and bite-resistant. It's become a valuable donkey training device. Just hung it from a tree push that little button till I git the desired response!

Continued......
 
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