I started with my trainer in January, and I really enjoy her company and have improved under her guidance. I have shown for many years, but hadn't competed on a breed level for over 10 years, and she has helped get me up to speed... we have had several successful shows and have earned 17 amt and open APHA points this year in all around events ... no small feat when showing solid paints, as the small class sizes makes gaining those points difficult. She is a young trainer, maybe 24, and so sometimes goes her own way...
I am running into a problem, and am not sure how best to handle it. Our last show was this past weekend... fri/sat/sun. I had to work the midshift on friday night, so on Friday morning I got my mare ready, (banded, washed, clipped, and put her slinky on) and got her to my trainers house so she could go up with my trainer's horse, another client's horse, and the trainer's mother's horse. They hauled up that afternoon, and I stayed home to work overnight, and we agreed I would race up there Sat morning as soon as I got off work. The show was 2 1/2 hours from my home, and the trail class started Sat at 8 am, with warmup at 7.
Saturday morning I got off work at 4 am, drove home, woke up hubby and the kids, got them ready, and then had hubby drive me up to the show. I dozed some, and we pulled in the lot at 7:15. My husband then drove himself and the kids back home.
I was surprised and distressed to see my trainer in her pajamas at the camper with my horse still in her stall, looking exactly how I put her on the trailer (down to the slinky). I pulled her out, groomed her, got her tail in, got her tack on and my clothes on by 7:50, just as they announced they were closing the trail warmup and doing the first call for the first class. I was the second class.
I got stressed, asked my trainer, who was busy getting her own horse ready and her mothers horse, if we were going to go over the pattern, and she sighed and said we would have to hurry and run through it ... and there was only going to be 2 horses in my class so it wasn't pointed anyway. I was upset and told her that I had expected my horse ready so I could do the warmup, that though I normally take care of my horse at the show, the day fee was in place and I expected some level of support in situations such as this one.
I ran over to our barn's other solid and asked if she would put her horse in the class to make it a pointed class, she agreed and I helped her get her horse ready and together we made it just in time to ride our class. I won the class under both judges and got 2 points in open trail...
The show continued on, and I didn't see my trainer for the majority of the show... she was riding her gelding in most of the green and junior classes, and riding her mother's horse in the senior and open classes, so she was warming up one or the other or tacking or untacking... we didn't go over any patterns and I maybe spent 20 minutes or less with her over the weekend. I placed very well, winning under both judges in horsemanship, trail, reining, and stake race and placing first under one judge in showmanship. I got high point amt and open solid paint bred horse. On Sunday, she hauled our horses back to her barn, then I got my trailer and picked up my horse and the other solid and took them to our respective homes.
Then I got the bill. $170.00 for dayfees and my share of the mileage. I am now in a situation where I feel that I did not have support that warranted paying a day fee, and with her showing her and her mother's horse she should be contributing to the mileage, the tack stall (I paid for), and the camper fees (the other solid owner brings a travel trailer we all sleep in - I buy the tack stall, she brings the trailer and we call it even) as well as food - she is of the "I am a trainer so I don't contribute" even as she rides her own horse, and frankly, I am put off by it. That said, I do enjoy riding with the girls, and riding as part of a barn at the show is much preferable to riding alone - so I am willing to suck up some of the costs.
Now there is a big show coming up 8 hours away, the world wide paint horse congress, and I want to go with a few other local girls I met at the breed shows. I haven't asked my trainer if she is planning on going, and I am not going as part of "the barn" simply because I don't want to pay for 5 days of day fees and fund her showing her own horse. I can save hundreds of dollars by splitting expenses with the local girls and forgoing the day fees...
How should I approach this without completely offending and severing ties with my trainer, whom I really do like? In the end I am doing congress without her, it's expensive enough already, and most likely wont do another breed show until Sept... and even then I don't want the situation to continue as is... but not sure what the solution is.
Any advice from those committed enough to read through this??