I feel that something inherent to the discrepancies between opinions regarding this thread is levels of showing/trainers/etc...not to indicate that ANY RIDERS or trainers are better/worse, etc...however, in the case of Anebel & Dreamcatcher, my ASSUMPTION (you know what they say about assuming!) is that they are showing/training on a level warranting the higher fees being paid by them(???) Their trainers are older, perhaps more involved in being there, 100%, AS TRAINERS, in an über "professional"capacity...their reputations/livelihoods I ask guessing are completely dependent upon their aptitude, not only at home, but at show as well, thus, it is inherently understood that they will be cared for financially at show due to the level of care THEY IN TURN are providing the riders.
I am possibly WAAAY off here, and I mean NO DISRESPECT whatsoever in my assumptions. I guess I just see that there are "levels" of professionalism certain trainers adhere to. If this is the case, the fees and the like are consistent with said levels. This trainer you work with, OP, is no doubt great at what she does! Being young though, and working equally hard to rise through the ranks as a rider while "double-timing" @ important shows may cause her to have to make a choice at various times, regarding where her FULL ATTENTIONS will be at show...on the horse/rider pairs she has trained with during the out-of-show time, or with her own riding and such.
I again do not, nor have not ever shown on these levels, so I could be way off. I guess from a common sense approach based upon what I have read here, this is the opinion I have come away with.
I don't feel your trainer, OP, will be offended with a frank discussion on your AND HER expectations at show; not only financial expectations, but also time/how she views her level of responsibility to you if she has come with you to the show in the CAPACITY OF YOUR TRAINER.
Just my $.02 worth...Very best of luck to you!!
"I'm too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener"