Ugh. Sharing a barn!?!
 
 

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Ugh. Sharing a barn!?!

This is a discussion on Ugh. Sharing a barn!?! within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

     
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        10-18-2009, 08:18 PM
      #1
    Trained
    Ugh. Sharing a barn!?!

    Kinda long, sorry. =|

    I've got awful accustomed to having the barn to myself. I have Gracie and Ricci, one stall apiece, leaving a hay/feed room, and a run in stall for the days and summer nights when they are outside. The stall is their primary shelter, the only other one is basically just a roof.

    This last summer, my friend was bringing her horse back from Montana where they went to school. She and her horse both lived in the area prior to school. My friend asked if she could keep her horse with mine for the summer. She was planning on returning to Montana in August. I figured it would be fine, since everyone would be outside 24/7 anyway for the summer, and hey, it was just for two and a half months. She fed one time a day, I fed the other. But then the end of July rolls around and my friend has decided she doesn't want to go back to Montana.

    And where does that put me? I couldn't kick her out after she already spent the summer there. But I didn't plan on another horse this winter. The barn really isn't set up for that. Sure, I have a third stall, but that is the primary shelter for my horses, it stays open to the pasture. To stall my friends horse at night this winter would mean bedding, which would mean we'd have to more or less remove the bedding each morning and put it back at night so the horses could come in and out during the day. Plus, it's ridiculously unnecessary, her horse has never been stalled for more than a night or two at a time her whole life, nor does she like being stalled.

    It's mostly like trying to run a business with a friend. We have different ideas, and it's just not working anymore. Winter changes things. But what can I do? I tried to talk to her about this winter, explaining to her why I think her horse should just be left in the pasture and run in this winter and I explained why it was inconvenient to do anything otherwise. I explained how I wasn't planning on another horse this winter, and how I thought it would be best for all parties. Keep in mind that my friend has already talked to me about how rare it was for her horse to be in a stall, and that the one time she put her in a stall in Montana, her horse ended up banging herself up. There was also the 4th of July when I suggested we bring everyone inside for the night because the barn is right next to a big fireworks display place. She was so nervous to bring her horse in, it took about two weeks to convince her. So after I explained my reasoning, she gets all pissed about how unfair it is and how she wanted her horse stalled at night this winter, and then ranted about why it couldn't be one of my two horses [Ricci is shaved, she's lived in that barn her whole life, it's more hers than anyone else's, she has a big stall, and she loves being in it. Gracie is a baby, I don't trust her to be outside by herself without causing damage to herself or the property.] And that's totally besides the point, it's not MY barn, the lady who sold me Ricci owns it, but I'm basically the barn manager, I run it, I've been running it for like three years.

    I'm just so frustrated! It's a private barn, not a big boarding facility. I just feel so inconvenienced with her horse being here still. I was more or less trapped into the position, and I'm pissed about it. I know my friend wasn't planning on staying at the barn for forever, but I just don't see how it'll work this winter. It would be so much easier for her to just move her horse, but saying that to my friend could very likely end our friendship, and I don't want that to happen. Ugh, it just sucks. Sorry for such a long vent. Thanks to anyone who read through the whole thing. And anyone who responds, please keep all your advice and opinions friendly and constructive, thanks.
         
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        10-18-2009, 08:32 PM
      #2
    Green Broke
    I understand being concerned about approaching her regarding moving the horse, but - at the same time - you stand just as much risk, if not more, of losing the friendship by saying nothing. You WILL resent this more and more as winter passes and it becomes more of an inconvenience and infringement on you/your horses. That resentment is going to build and build until it blows and the fallout from that will be far more damaging to the friendship than approaching it now and heading things off at the pass, so to speak.
    You agreed to one thing and it is now being assumed that you are okay with another. I would simply explain to your friend that when you agreed to let her horse stay with you it was for the summer. Now that that plan has changed, she will need to make other arrangements for the winter. Yes, she may pitch a tizzy and it may end the frienship, but if she tosses away your frienship over this, is she really much of a friend to begin with?? (and, yes, I know that is easy to say when I am not in your shoes)
         
        10-18-2009, 08:48 PM
      #3
    Trained
    Thanks, your probably right. I just hate confrontation like this, and I especially hate that I was basically trapped in a no-win situation. Thanks for your advice though, I appreciate it. =]
         
        10-18-2009, 10:06 PM
      #4
    Weanling
    I agree with macpac. I don't really see how you could kick her out unless you had the owners ok, but if it was me I would try to get it fixed.
    I had a like "friend" situation this last winter. Told her she could board her horse here, $25 a month, she gets feed. She goes and buys a coming two year old stud colt. Well she looses her job, I figure she'll get another. I tell her she needs to get the colt cut before spring. Well no job ever happens, she goes to MI, and spring is here. Where is the colt? Going through the fence into My Mares. I tell her she needs to get him. I get told to "deal with it". After calling the Sheriff and brand inspector. The only thing I could do is say that if she didnt get him by the weekend I could put a lein against him and sell him. That DAY, someone came and got him. We don't talk anymore, but as I see it, if she did that to me she wasn't much of a friend.
    I know its not the same, but if she keeps pushing you like my friend did. It might be just as bad.
         
        10-18-2009, 10:19 PM
      #5
    Started
    Boarding with friends usually dosent end well. The lady who I subrent the stalls from, who rents the barn from two older ladies askes me before allowing someone else to come in. I figured it would be great to have my friend bring her new horse, because it would mean less work for everyone (we take shifts) and a buddy for my two horses. She has taken over one of the two stalls, its a two stall barn for three horses, no one can claim a stall for their horse, there arent enough to go around. Her horse has reared up several times on me, no idea why, but she hits her head on the ceiling and freaks out. Its kind of dangerous. She will kick my mare when my horse is just trying to get the heck out of her way. One time the horse started to buck and rear at my mare when I was in the stall, both of them came in behind me, that was very dangerous! My friend randomly deworms just her horse and tells me about it a week later. I think its humerous because she's a nurse, and she dosent understand that all the horses need to be dewormed at once or someone will just pick up worms again in a week from someone who wasnt dewormed on the same cycle. She never comes out when she agress she will to help me clean stalls and such. I come out to see my horses and she expects me to hold hers while she washed her cuts and such. Im just hoping she'll get tired of riding in the pasture, we have no ring, and board soemwere else.
         

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