Unsupportive parents. - The Horse Forum

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post #1 of 42 Old 07-16-2012, 04:33 PM Thread Starter
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Unsupportive parents.

I'm just really bummed about this lately.... so bear with my complaining.

My parents are horsey people, but the Sunday evening ride/ride to get the cows kind of people. My dad doesn't ride a horse just because it needs to be rode, my mom is a bit better, but not much.

We have friends who have kids the same age as me and a year or two younger, and their parents hauled them all over the country to high school rodeos, and now are hauling them all over for border country rodeos.

I've been riding, roping and barrel racing with these people since I started, and we are all of a similar skill level. Last summer, I begged my parents into taking me to ONE rodeo because it was my last year old being able to compete as a Junior. I entered with one of the other girls from the family mentioned above and we were fractions of a second from winning it due to a couple errors in the slack run.

This year, the whole family kept on asking me if I'm going to rodeos and yadda yadda, and my parents just told me that if there is no guarantee that I'll win, there's no point in me going. The family mentioned above finally talked my parents into taking me to one rodeo, but I was only able to enter in the roping twice, and was informed by my father that I could have done well in the barrels AFTER the barrel racing was over.

I'm super jealous I guess. The kids in the family I keep on mentioning are loaded with buckles, trophy tack ect... and I've had 4 opportunities in my life at such things.

I'm just tired of being told how much money they won and the buckles they got every weekend. I keep on trying to get my parents to care, but they just don't... and it looks even worse now that I'm pouring all of my effort into Squiggy for barrel racing and then have the chance of not being able to do anything because my parents think I'm good enough AFTER the event is over.
*head desk*

"all I ever dreamt about was makin' it; they ain't giving it, I'm taking it"
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post #2 of 42 Old 07-16-2012, 04:38 PM
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How old are you? If your 16 and have a drivers license, get a truck and trailer and haul yourself to shows. Or hitch a ride with your friends...

Don't rely on your parents to spoil you and give you everything you want. It builds character to be able to work for what you want. Work and save money for your own vechile and trailer and entry fees.
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post #3 of 42 Old 07-16-2012, 04:45 PM
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My folks were this way.

I wanted to barrel race. They thought it was dumb. But roping was ok. I got tired of doing things on their terms and saved my money to support my habit. I bought my own truck, my trailer and paid my entries. It wasn't much, but at least they couldn't tell me what rodeos/events I could go to because they needed the truck/trailer or didn't have time to haul me.

I guess it was their way of teaching me to be responsible and work hard for what I want.

I DON'T LEAD 'EM AND FEED 'EM, I RIDE 'EM AND SLIDE 'EM.
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post #4 of 42 Old 07-16-2012, 04:49 PM Thread Starter
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The only truck we have that pulls a trailer is
A) a standard (I can drive it, no big deal)
B) dying
C) spedometer is disconnected

I tried getting my parents to let me take it, but nope.

I have a vehicle, but a Jeep isn't going to pull a trailer.

People have offered to pick me and my horses up, but my parents won't allow that either.

I've talked to them about a little bumper pull any they think it's a good idea, but when I show them ones for sale, they don't say anything and shrug it off.

I have a "job" and enough money to pay my own entrees... it's just that my parents don't care.
The other kids mom is proud of her kids and takes pictures and videos all the time. I had to fight with my mom to get to to take a pictures of the first ride on my colt.
In fact, at the one rodeo I went to this year, she took pictures of pretty much everyone but me.

"all I ever dreamt about was makin' it; they ain't giving it, I'm taking it"
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post #5 of 42 Old 07-16-2012, 05:09 PM
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and again we can see your problem right there,
"The only truck WE have"
You got a mouse in your pocket ? Obviously WE don't have a truck. Your parents have a truck.

Like the above poster said. If you want to do it do it and stop expecting your parents to spoon feed it to you. You tried to bumm rides ? Tried to buy your own truck ? Tried to do anything proactive ?
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post #6 of 42 Old 07-16-2012, 05:17 PM Thread Starter
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I'm not expecting my parents to "spoon feed" it to me... I just think that they should care. They had fun at the one rodeo we went to, both my mom and my dad roped and they enjoyed the day. They seem to like it once we're there, it's just getting them there that's the problem. My dad would team rope, he has been called about being a partner, but he doesn't let anyone else know until days after entry's are due.

"all I ever dreamt about was makin' it; they ain't giving it, I'm taking it"
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post #7 of 42 Old 07-16-2012, 05:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QHriderKE View Post
I just think that they should care.
Why? This is your thing, not theirs. Just because they had fun at one rodeo doesn't mean they want to do it continually. A borderline interest becomes irksome if the enthusiast expects you to be gung-ho about it 24/7/365.

My parents were never interested in my horsey life. I didn't even take lessons or get a horse until I became an adult and could afford to pay for everything myself.

Your parents probably aren't as ogreish as you're painting them, anyway. I doubt seriously they're actively squashing your dreams so much as they're just not lavishing money and attention on them.
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post #8 of 42 Old 07-16-2012, 05:23 PM
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If they don't care then don't bring them. No reason to bring them along if they bum you out by not taking pictures and things. Get some money, buy your own things, go to events, do your best, and be proud of your own accomplishments.
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post #9 of 42 Old 07-16-2012, 05:28 PM
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I think having a support system is important whether you want to ride horses, play basketball, or whatever else you want to do. I would suggest just sitting down with them an explain how you feel and how passionate you are. Then tell them you are capable of affording what you want to do and just need a little bit of their help. Then ask them what their concerns and questions are.

I know my mom was sitting in the bleachers at every horse show, theater performance, and whatever lesson I had even if it "wasn't her thing". But it made me feel better that she cared enough to spend time with me. It was the bonding time that mattered most, not how much money or how well I did.

You can still be responsible and have the support of your parents.


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post #10 of 42 Old 07-16-2012, 05:40 PM
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Quote:
and again we can see your problem right there,
"The only truck WE have"
You got a mouse in your pocket ? Obviously WE don't have a truck. Your parents have a truck.

Like the above poster said. If you want to do it do it and stop expecting your parents to spoon feed it to you. You tried to bumm rides ? Tried to buy your own truck ? Tried to do anything proactive ?
That wasnt needed.


OP I think you should keep riding like you are. If your friends offer to take you along there is no reason you can't tag along. Pay your own fees and you good to go. I don't understand why your parents would even say no to that. It would all help if we had an age to go off haha. But like stated if you are 16 start saving for a trailer and you wont have any problems even if its a cheaper one (as long as its safe). If you are 18 they have no reason to be telling you that you can not go to a rodeo. If they don't want to take pictures, find a friend that will. Im not saying to quit listening to your parents but there is no reason you can go to a rodeo with your fiends if they invite you. Maybe try having your friends mom or dad talk to your parents and if they hear from them that its not a big deal if you tag along they might be more ok with it.
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