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Unsure

This is a discussion on Unsure within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

     
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        04-23-2010, 10:28 PM
      #11
    Started
    Wink

    Sorry about your horse! I agree with MIEventer. Plus, if I were in the situation, I don't think my conscience'd nag me to contact former owner, because I can't think of a good reason to do so, & a few not to, not the least of which is that you're uncomfortable with the person. Are you sure it's your conscience & not the pressure from mom & trainer? I'd directly ask mom & trainer why they're insisting I contact her; have they given you a reason? If you conclude that your conscience bids you tell her, I'd write a note/email rather than "cold-call"!
         
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        04-24-2010, 12:50 AM
      #12
    Started
    Well, to me it depends on wether or not she still calls and asks about the horse. If she does then by all means call her and tell her before she calls asking about him. If she doesn't call you anymore, then I wouldn't. That is a sign that she has moved on with her life. You can't even tell her why he died...not even the vet knows. That's going to make the whole situation worse. I think you have enough to have to deal with just having lost your horse without having to worry about her or her reaction. She sounds like the type of person that will make this all about her anyway. Take the time you need to grieve for your horse. Once you have given yourself some time and if you still want to tell her, then by all means, give her a call.

    I'm so sorry you lost your horse. Hugs to you
         
        04-24-2010, 12:59 AM
      #13
    Trained
    If the person calls and asks then I would tell her that the horse died but I wouldn't go out of my way to tell her. She has no need to know and the best that can come from it is that it will cause her some sadness. When something bad happens in my life I tend to not spread it around unless there is some way a person can help. The previous owner can't make your horse less dead, you don't like her, and it took her a long time to get over selling the horse. I see no reason to put yourself or the other woman through that.
         
        04-24-2010, 07:13 AM
      #14
    Yearling
    I would write a letter and make sure to tell her how hard it is for you to talk about it and that when you can talk, you will give a call. Ask her if she can respect your privacy on the matter right now and allow you to heal.

    I am so sorry to hear of your horses sudden death.
         
        04-24-2010, 07:58 AM
      #15
    Trained
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by kevinshorses    
    If the person calls and asks then I would tell her that the horse died but I wouldn't go out of my way to tell her. She has no need to know and the best that can come from it is that it will cause her some sadness. When something bad happens in my life I tend to not spread it around unless there is some way a person can help. The previous owner can't make your horse less dead, you don't like her, and it took her a long time to get over selling the horse. I see no reason to put yourself or the other woman through that.
    Agreed
         
        04-24-2010, 08:55 AM
      #16
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by kevinshorses    
    If the person calls and asks then I would tell her that the horse died but I wouldn't go out of my way to tell her. She has no need to know and the best that can come from it is that it will cause her some sadness. When something bad happens in my life I tend to not spread it around unless there is some way a person can help. The previous owner can't make your horse less dead, you don't like her, and it took her a long time to get over selling the horse. I see no reason to put yourself or the other woman through that.
    A wise man once said..................
         
        04-24-2010, 11:59 AM
      #17
    Weanling
    I'm with Kevin.
         
        04-25-2010, 01:15 PM
      #18
    Foal
    Thanks everyone, you've all given me good advice. :) I talked to my mom and my trainer, and they agreed to stop pestering me about contacting the previous owner. The conversation was rather awkward, and my mom tried very hard to guilt trip me...:P but I think they will keep their word. I think the main reason I felt guilty wasn't because of anything I felt, but because of them.

    ...I hate guilt trips.
         
        04-25-2010, 01:39 PM
      #19
    Banned
    Aw! I'm so sorry about our loss! :(
         
        04-25-2010, 02:35 PM
      #20
    Banned
    *your loss
         

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